Dave just got back from talking to his father who says "I have less (or NO) value as a wife if I would sleep with other men or multiple partners." Anyway the sun is out here Dave and I are going to spend the rest of the day at the beach. I wish I had one of those small bikini's
question to answer, and answer to questions... well the real question that needs to be answer is what is it that gramps knows?? just that you are going to TTR? or does he know that you are thinking about swinging? the only reason gramps would be getting more and more pissed is if he was doing his homework or someone was feeding him more BS. If it is just that you are going to TTR. Then to hell with them all. Take your trip, bring back pictures, show EVERYONE(including the nasty SIL) the ones that can be shown. Prove to them what a fun place it is. Don't shy away from the fact that there are swingers there, or the fact that some women go topless.... hell the men do too! LOL Just because others are there doing it does not mean you have to.We went and Kellie stayed with her top on almost the entire time. You are there for a very fun time, nothing more. Just whatever happens there stays there and NOT BRAGGED ABOUT TO YOUR BROTHER!!! if your gonna brag, especially to family, even before you get there.... you had better be ready for a shit storm once you come back and start bragging. Or you could also take the BS approach(not recommended) say thanks to them you changed where you were staying in Cancun, still stay at TTR, take lots of pictures at a resort beach a ways down from TTR and guilt them back. Lay on the lies about piss poor quality of service and how you spent most you time in you room. That will really get them stirring! If they found out about you 2 wanting to try swinging.... thats a whole different ball of wax! You have your work cut out for you then. It is NOT a popular subject and even by the most liberal of people. Most feel swinging is wrong and a relationship should be sacred, gay or straight. That when you commit to a person that it should be one and only forever. They don't see the openness of COMMITTING you entire being to your partner by giving them everything they want, including someone else! It will not be easy if this is the case and it seems to be more of this than just the finding out about the resort. At the end of the day you are adults, so is gramps. He and many other have been around the block and you aren't going to be able to BS your way through it. Stand up for yourselves, Ask to sit down with just him and you 2. and explain yourselves that you want to go and have a very fun time, no kids, and no worries about open photographers taking pictures of you around topless others. There is a side of the resort that "doesn't allow"(yeah right) topless and the security there is top notch. Prove your case and see where the cards fall. Prove the nasty BEOTCH of a sister in law wrong. If it is a "religious thing/reason" they are feeling upset then it is only incumbent upon them to forgive, RIGHT? Best of luck and hope this helps
You may as well go on the trip then. They have the best of intentions I am sure, but you can't be fearful that every choice you make doesn't satisfy them. It's sad that they have backed you into a corner.
What would gramps say if Dave said to him he wouldn't mind seein you with another man? that it was ok with Dave? would he still be pissed or equally as pissed at him as you? you would be surprised! it sounds like a defense in trying to protect their son from the evils of an "affair", maybe something happened in their past where a female had cheated on him and broke his heart. Whatever the case if it is out in the open about swinging you both need to sit with him and explain you are not looking to replace one another, it may never even happen. You are just talking about fantasies like some that would not want to ever keep a secret from the one they love the most.
THE SCORE... well i guess the fight is over (this part anyway) Dave's father has disowned him the will is being re-written tuesday Dave's oldest brother and wife have disowned him the other 3 brothers and wives are ok but very cool (uncool) we are going to TTR in late august or early september it looks like my girlfriend might be joining us I just don't feel like anyone won! Kisses joe (Josephine)
I am sorry to hear they are acting so badly. I feel for you. Just keep telling yourself that your not at fault here and you aren't responsible for their actions.
God the drama! This is like a Tennessee Williams play. Anyway, seriously... Unless gramps is worth some beaucoup bucks and you need to placate him to get the millions or the Hamptons estate, F Gramps! Pardon my French but if he's got such a cob up his ass that he's gonna "rewrite the will on Tuesday" (the next business day that his lawyer's office is open!) then he's got WAY WAY bigger problems than you two going to TTR. This really is about control. Trust me, I'm an attorney and the only clients who rewrote their wills regularly were the ones who wanted to control their families by dangling the big money-carrot in front of them to string them along. Maybe instead of viewing this as a disaster you can view this as the Universe giving you your freedom from Gramps. Guess what? Now you can say what you want to Gramps -- you're out of the will, you got nothing to lose, so live baby live!
So sad...not much else to say right now. From someone who's lost way too many loved ones too soon, I hope his family learns sooner rather than later that you don't have to agree with someone to love them and allowing yourself to be controlled does not strengthen the bond of love but chokes it.
