Trychasers first timers trip report 14-28 May / cure for insomnia

This was our first trip to TTR although thanks to the Forum and the great people on it we felt like it was already home from home. Anyway I will attempt to do a trip report that shares our experiences without boring anyone too much...

To be honest the reports of being bumped at the hotel did give me a certain amount of squeaky bum time before we left and even though I did the early check in online and got a confirmation email back saying it was all good I was a bit like a a cat on a hot tin roof until I had that wristband on!

After a wonderful 11 hour flight from the UK (well if your idea of wonderful is sitting with your knees around your ears, eating plastic food and being unable to have visual contact with your wife due to "check in anomalies" that is!) we arrived with USA Transfers wise words ringing in our ears " ignore everyone at the airport and walk straight through until you see our man - he WILL be there". We set our faces to "Axe Murderer don't even think about talking to us" and ran into the arms of the USA Transfer guy. Phew, phase one accomplished! The transfer was quick and friendly and we were soon at TTR.

My sleepless nights about being bumped to a hotel down the road filled with children proved to be unfounded and we were soon into room 5731 with big smiles on our faces......then we saw the big clear glass window separating the toilet from the bedroom! OK then, this is a level of intimacy I hadn't quite factored in but, who cares, we're finally at Temptation, and it is hot and dry and lovely.

Our first night was the Bali Hai buffet outside which was perfect for us now very sleepy travellers. Couple of quick beers and then bed....until 3am when our body clock woke us. Still, got our loungers booked nice and early!

Tuesday was our first full day and we met The Mayor by the pool early - with a moustache that Magnum would be proud of Jamie is easy to spot and his 30 sec orientation tour was very welcome. We spent the day at the sexy pool admiring the view..... Wish I had brought my I Spy Book of Wicked Weasels! Thank goodness for Bubba mugs and super friendly bar staff - a combo made in heaven. The sun was out, the sky was blue and even Deb, made it into the pool, which is normally unheard of. Met loads of lovely people including Simon and Mickey, Tom and Ros, Jim and Kate, Dan and Diane, Tom "Ice Cube", the truly lovely Sharken (Shari and Ken) and the one, the only Kelly Cat.

The evening was Burlesque night - Deb got all corseted up and looked wowser, and I went for the Victoriana theme of top hat, waistcoat and rubber trousers (didn't you know all Victorian men wore rubber trousers?) - By the end of the night my legs felt like Vesuvius but all in the name of fun. The costumes were slow to come out of hiding and I was worried at the beginning that it might be a bit of a let down, but eventually the numbers swelled and a good laugh was had by all.

Next day Boobs Cruise!! And it is everything people say it is and some. Had a fantastic day snorkelling (although someone skinny dipped near me and I thought I was being attacked by a very small eel at one point!), skinny dipping and watching sex games on the beach (wimped out this year but next year....). Also learned quite how many places whipped cream could be applied - and thanks to Mickeys enthusiastic application of cream onto bits of Simon I may never be able to eat a hot dog again without blushing! This was the day we also met the wonderful Milton and Michael properly. What terrific sports they were all day and a nicer couple of guys you may never meet.

Quick dunk in the pool after and then crashed. Woke up on Thursday...

Day by the pool, more rain but actually quite refreshing. The Boyz( M&M) were just awesome round the pool in their serving wench outfits with personalised shot glasses and liquor dispensing boobs!!! They brought the house down and rightly so! Had a lovely meal at Steak and Seafood with Ken and Shari and Tom and Ros before lingerie night. Didn't rate Nice Shoes much but once in PatyOs I found that after 45 years of self suppression I quite enjoyed getting my salsa groove on, and in Ken I found my perfect dance partner lol..

Friday was overcast with some rain but day at the Sexy pool nonetheless. The Boyz came poolside in Dorothy costumes and we all went wild! It was like having rockstars on site! I don't think there is anyone within 5 miles of the hotel that has NOT got their photo taken with these two stars!!

White night tonight and really enjoyed that. Probably the most keenly supported dress up night I would think. Glow sticks galore, the whole evening was just fun and laughter with a bit of gratuitous salsa dancing thrown in for good measure. Met some old geezer who was writing a review on the hotel and he interviewed us for a while but I think he was trying to just get negative comments about it so our continual "this place is amazing, it's the best holiday we have ever had, nicest people, great staff etc etc" responses weren't quite what he was looking for!! He left

Saturday delivered a tropical rain storm like we have never experienced before - now we come from the UK so we think we're pretty clued up on rain - we have quite a bit - but this was something else. After a morning on the balcony emptying the minibar we swam down for lunch.......

When a break in the rain came in the afternoon it was back to the pool for fun n frolics with Ken and Shari and their friend Chad.

We enjoyed a lovely meal at the Italian with S,K and C that night (sexy coffee's all round) and then headed for somewhere dry to have a natter. Nice relaxing fun evening.

Sunday was the second Boobs Cruise we were intending to go on but the seas were rough and the sky was giving us the "come on I dare you" look. I only have one good knee and Deb gets sea sick in the bath so much as it pained us we decided to stay behind. Really bummed about that but as it turned out it gave us a chance to do some more things like horse shoes, hammock swinging and general mooching until the rain drove us back inside again. Spent the afternoon learning cribbage with Ken and Shari and drinking Baileys coffee. Both highly recommended. Sexy schoolgirl night and Kilt night was fantastic fun at PatyOs - wow don't all women look gorgeous in tiny kilts and tie tops..... Phwoar!! Got my kilt on and let it all hang out of course - it rained a bit later but happiness is a damp sporran so they say (and if they don't already say that then they damn well should do!!). Felt like a fraud next to big Will and not so big Ros - true scots!!

Crickey, that's a week gone by already - we've met some truly wonderful people and said sad goodbyes to some already. We are lucky to have two weeks here - don't know how you cope with just a few days.

On the second Monday we headed into town on the local bus. That was an experience (in the same way that falling onto rocks and landing on your head is also an experience, just not one you want to repeat in a hurry). After finding a seat where we COULDN'T see the road through the holes in the floor we accelerated over bumpy roads at Mach1 to some shops. Bought a few little things and then found religion and risked a bus home again (woa, see how quickly "the hotel" becomes "home"..... That's what this place does to you!!)

On the Tuesday it was up early for a day on Isla Mujeres with the dolphins. I was only tagging along to carry the bags and tell Deb how gorgeous she looked (I'm her personal "fluffer" lol). Once there though I weakened and did the whole package - seal ions, manatees, dolphins and sharks and rays - and I am so glad I did. We were so lucky to have a guide and just us two so it felt like a really personal service all day. Managed to get home minus one arm and one leg which is the price you have to pay for the bloody photographs though..... Looks like I'll be snorkelling in circles for a while. Seriously though it is highly recommended as a day trip.

Once home we partied at PatyOs until 3am as it was Ken and Cheri's last night and we didn't want it to end. Deb poured herself into a sexy Cop uniform and had guys begging her all night to be handcuffed (are we guys really that easy?? Durr YES!) In the end she only had cuffs for one man, the legend that is Jamie, Mayor of TTR although I don't think he had seen the double header dildo that was masquerading as a police baton at that point!! Still, something to remember his vacation by......!

We said moist goodbyes to our by now good friends Ken and Shari on Wednesday morning and moped by the pool for a bit feeling sad. We laid in hammocks for a while just chatting about how fantastic this resort was and how beyond our wildest dreams it all was. Then beach volleyball started and our peace was enthusiastically shattered!! Had an earlyish night at PatyOs and just as well as it sounds like some loon decided to get all macho and punch people before getting arrested. Seriously, TTR is not for you guys - if you are a single then fab, hang out have a good time - if you are a group of 9 or 10 singles PLEASE look elsewhere!!!

After Jamie gave Deb an amazing back massge early in the morning we went to Chichen Itza on the hotel VIP tour on Thursday which was basically like being dipped into molten lava. When the sun shines at TTR it's hot. That same sun at Chichen Itza is like a vacation on the sun itself!! But the ruins were spectacular and the swim in the Cenote afterwards was fab. Felt a bit cheesed off that the "all inclusive price" we paid on booking was not all inclusive at all and the extras for basics such as drinks and entrance to the Cenote felt a bit grabby. Plus the less than subtle demands for tips became irksome - in the UK if service is exceptional then we tip. If someone comes to the table to collect tips after a buffet meal and won't leave until his tip bucket is full then to Me that's grabby!!

lingerie night again tonight and Deb looked stunning in her Wicked Weasel tuxedo bikini with collar and cuffs...... I could barely stand upright all night!!!

Friday was spent by the pool meeting new people and drinking. It's just such a wonderful atmosphere here that we know we have to come back at least once a year from now on. It was Jamie and Chris's last night so we helped crack at least a thousand glow sticks that night (well it felt like that many) and distribute them around PatyOs. The vibe was definitely changing as May ebbed away - less forum people I think and therefore less awareness of the dressing up etc. This felt a bit sad but I'm sure that Steve and Jamie's active recruitment to the forum will have paid off with loads of new members for next year. The music was total pants though tonight with the bass being turned up to max distortion and lyrics inaudible. That meant it was Bed O'clock so we turned in.

On the wind down now to our own departure and the next few days were spent pooling and drinking and playing that fun game "how amusing is it watching young sunburned English dudes try to hit on the ladies" the answer is both embarrassing and a lot of fun. Still, they were relentless in their quest!!

We had a couple of in pool chats with the lovely Ed and Mariette where the merits of Wicked Weasels and Malibu Strings bikinis were discussed - always good to meet a fellow connoisseur of the thong! Again, terrific people we hope to meet next year too.

Apologies for this being such a long TR - and congratulations to anyone who made it this far! I suggest a quick coffee break before the final paragraph...

High points - meeting lovely people, far too many to mention them all by name but they know who they are. Great clean hotel with the hardest working and happiest staff We have ever seen, all the food in all the restaurants, going on a Boobs Cruise with Steve, theme nights (when everyone joins in), swimming with dolphins, having a gorgeous wife by my side to share it all with. Meeting new friends for life.

Low points - well ok the room did smell a bit "drainy" sometimes. Not massively impressed with large groups of English lads being dorks either. Ok that's it. Everything else was beyond expectations and we are definitely coming back next May - but probably a few days earlier so we stick with the big group of Forum folk.

Tony and deb (although Deb has now got her own profile as the Mayors Massage Babe!! - MMB Trychaser ...... That's the power of Jamie's magic hands for you!)

 

Thx for the review! Glad you had a good trip.

 

Cracking trip report Tony, was a great pleasure meeting you and your lovely wife and hopefully we will see you there again next may.

 

Great TR!

 

Well we'll definitely be there around 8/9 May for two weeks so would be great to see you again - hope the ankle is healing well

 

Top notch TTR! Cheers and hope to see you in May!

 

Great trip report... makes me want to go back right now... although being back at work does that too, so.... Anyway... till next May!

Jamie

 

Great trip report.
:daveandmo:

 

Hasta mayo señor Mayor!

 

Thanks for the TR.....