Alright, I got back yesterday afternoon, and decided to write this now - I will forget it all if not. I'll spare you the day to day things that are normally written in TR's and focus on the important: hotel, daytime activities, clubs. Hotel: We were booked for the normal Oasis, but got an upgrade to the Grand Oasis Playa....we were brought to the normal one before going to the Playa....and, I will be very honest with y'all, the place is fallling apart. In the lobby, there were like 10 spots in the ceiling that were coming off...they had to pun cones all over the place so that people could avoid the falling ceiling bits. We did go there 1 afternoon and once for dinner, and I can say that the pool area and beach are a ok...but people were complaining about their rooms A LOT (shower stopping for no reason, water coming from ceiling, floods in rooms, etc). When an 18 year old complains about their room, I worry. Also, when we got our room with the outside hot tub, there was only 1 bed (this always seems to happen), so we had to forego the tub to get 2 beds (which were stuck together) Our hotel, on the other hand, was quite good - at the beginning of the strip, but nothing major. The beach was amazing! There were like 3 inifinity pools all cascading into each other - very good. Also, there were ''beds'' on the beach where you could suntan - it beats a broken white matress-less chair any day! Food was good too. One night we waited forever in the mexican restaurant, and told the lady in passing about it while making the reservation for the next night....we get into the room and there is a letter stating that management would like to meet with us..we thought ''shit, what did we do??'', but it was to offer us a massage for our troubles....we thought that was very good of them. There was also an outside bar with matreses and curtains - so you could lay there and drink forever if you wanted. They had champagne too! Oh, also, we had a black bracelet (I am still wearing it), which meant we could go to the Grand Oasis restaurants if we wanted (they are full). Daytime activites: We booked 2 tours: the jungle tour and the catamaran ''boose cruise''. Jungle tour: You drive a jetski that is in fact a speedboat through the stinky lagoon into the ocean, where you ''park it'' and snorkel for about an hour. They fooking feed the fish with tortilla...which means you are stuck in fishes. It was funny though to see the people panic. There were 2 Irish kids that I did not understand 1 word they said - I think I ended up saying I did not speak english. Our boat stopped on our way back (I was driving) - this was a highlight..waiting on the lagoon for help. We thought this tour was alright for the boating part...the snorkeling was so so, as in there wasn't much to see, as the coral reef is pretty much gone because of Evil Wilma. Boosecruise: This is a highlight. For 50$, you get a full day cruise on this cool catamaran, open bar, lunch at Isla Mujeres, and amazing snorkling - I HIGHLY advise doing this tour -once your glass was empty they rushed to serve you more - it was amazing. Also, you got to sit on that portion where there are only cords between you and the ocean..not sure how to call it. The best daytime thing ever. Oo it also has the spinakker, but it was too windy that day. Clubs Well well well. I am quite shocked to report that my favorite act took place at Coco Bongo! They changed the show since last time, and I thought this one was better. Mexican Michael Jackson was good. When we arrived, we were ushered to the upstairs portion - as in you couldn't go on the bottom portion as it was wayyyyy too crowded - I had never seen that before. 1 thing that sucked was that it took forever to get a drink (as we were too shitty to be VIP)...Also, 1 thing I did not know is that you need to start paying for your alcohol after like 3 ish or so...I thought it would be open bar all night? A bottle of water was 5$? Also, I discovered a whole new portion of Coco Bongo's I did not know about! When you first walk in, by the first bar next to the bathroom..there are stairs that lead to a part right next to the DJ - this was a good portion as there was a little stage you could roll on? Senior Frog's I was very hyped to go there......I think maybe too hyped, as it was not a really good act for some reason. It smelled like vomit A LOT (you could not get away from it)....The songs have not changed AT ALL! That big dude MC'ing is still there, and he was ''training'' another dude that will be doing the same thing in Hawaii, so you had 2 big dudes onstage for the price of 1. There was also a big fight in there while we were dancing..not good. The slide seemed to be closed I think. Nothing happening in the pool either. The lady that worked in the toilets looked quite ill and should be in the hospital. Pat O'Brian's A little discovery for an act! We went to dinner at Bubba Gump (soooo tasty) and when they bring you the bill there are coupons for FREE drinks at Margaritaville, Outback (how Mexican), and Pat O'Brians...so of course we thought of having small drinks at Pat O'Brians...we ended up doing the complete act there....Same concept as Sr Frog's...dude on stage doing his thing...Also, the DJ sits in this HUGE Hummer outside....his body peeps out from the top of the Hummer. I liked this. Oddity: The Pat O'Brian midget was behind me in the Conga line...this was rather a strange feeling. I ran into Nick Hamburg there as well I think? Basics Same old same old! It was good! There was a wet t-shirt contest (read half naked girls shaking their a$$) ...VERY classy..especially for 50$ and a t-shirt. Their mums would be proud. Service was really good there I though - lots of drinks, good ones, quick. The music was really good too. A lot of people seemed to avoid the water. There was another fight there that night. A barstool flew on my foot, cutting it. Not good. As a result, I left some DNA in there. We swam in the hotel pool with ur clotes on when we came back - we were soaking wet already, why not?. Foam Party Yes, we decided to go, as we knew a lot that decided to go and thought it would be a good idea to go as a group. Also, this was free, because of that whole black bracelet business. I think I heard someone say it was 29$. So foam comes from the ceiling and never stops falling...if I stoood in the middle, I had it to my eyes - the thing becomes like a big pool of foam. I think people knd in there, as you can't really see exactly what's happening. At one point it was impossible to walk arounf with our flip flops, so we put them on the side...we never found them again (we walked home barefooted on the bus, brilliant). Highlight: once you are done there, I highly suggest going for a lil swim in the fountains at the entrance of the Oasis. Also after this we soaked in the hot tubs of our hotel, as there were some outside near another pool. We woke up with swollen hands and feet from all that foam crap. My hand is still all weird. The City I do not like this club for some reason. It's too big I find and you end up speding 45 minutes when you go for a wee. The music was good though. Our bus was picking us up around 7 am (we weren't sure about this, as there was confusiion at the hotel about thi)...so we came back at around 5 am, napped for 30 minutes and flew home. Comment about the crowds: Not sure if it's 100% me....but it seems that the crowd got A LOT younger....many many many teenagers. Senior Frog's felt a bit like high school. There were 2 kids in the room in front of ours who went to the City 1 night, and one fell off the stage and broke bones and bled (he also left MAJOR dna)...when we left, that kid was still in the hospital. Also, the afternoon we spent at the Oasis, we saw like 3 ambulances drive into the Oasis as we were leaving..urban legend says a boy fell off his balcony and died...but I cannot confirm this. It rained one day so we went shopping at La Isla and managed to run a hefty bar bill at Planet Hollywood (again, how mexican). They had weird Timberlake movies in there - can't describe it really. Funny things heard, said and seen: ''Buenas Noches B I T C H E S!'' (I really love that one) '' Were your parents sculptors?'' '' Are you currrrvy-on-crack''? ''How is (fill in the blank)?'' ''I could be your mum'' After I said a joke, someone said ''You are not normal'' ''Hey Marrrrrrrrrriiaaaaaaa''........Maria? The beetlejuice midget man at coco bongo freaked me out..he kept opening his mouth really wide. This kid fell face flat on the road This kid getting evicted at coco bongo after seeing the same kid get evicted from Basics 2 nights before Seeing this model chick get the most evil look from the bartender as she tried to pour herself her own beer at coco bongo - do not even attempt this. One night I decided to tell people I was 45 (as it always seems to be the same 3 questions over and over again - what is your name, where are you from, how old are you) All in all it was a great trip! Do the catamaran cruise! Ooo, I miss Fat Tuesday's - someone bring Fat Tuesday back! btw, there is rubbish around that place now, as our cruise left from there. After this trip, I think I will now retire from Cancun - it is a great place, do not get me wrong, but I think I've seen what I wanted to see over there and it might be time to move onto something else; what, I do not know yet - not sure. BUENAS NOCHES B I T CH E S!!
Excellent report. I hope toilet woman has gone to hospital! Where to next? I can reccommend Australia.
Glad to see that most of your DNA made it back, Curvaceous One... Doesn't look good for the Oasis in 50 days or so for some.... Who did you travel down with?
Welcome back Currrvy... Remember what will one day be a famous quote "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
Last year I noticed that I felt too old for Cancun and I WAS ONLY 22. Not that 22 is old, but its just that the majority of people there were 16, 17, 18. I'm going again this year but if I get that same vibe, I will probably also retire Cancun as far as spring break is concerned.
