Well, it’s been almost 2 weeks since we got back, and I have a few minutes to write a TR, so, here it is. Overall, we had a great time, and we will go back. But, next time, we will split our time with a few days at Temptation thrown in, if possible. More on that later. Some background: We are very busy, mid 30’s-early 40’s working parents of 3 kids, ages 7-12. The fact that the grandparents stepped in and watched our kids was a godsend, and this has happened 3 years in a row, so we are lucky as hell. The first year, 2013, we went to Occidental Grand Xcaret, because, well, we didn’t know what the fuck we were doing and were just happy to get away. Last year we went to GOV and had a great time, and would’ve gone again but they sold the property. This year, we decided on GP because we love a good beach, it was adults-only, topless-optional and was in the price range that we had budgeted for. At the time we booked, TTR was still not an option for a few reasons: even the good TRs basically said that the place was a bit run-down, the A/C (when it worked) was more of a mildew-y swamp cooler that caused people to get sick, the beach sucked, and it was more expensive. (NOTE: I AM NOT SHITTING ON TTR. This is just what I had gathered from being on CCC for a year or so. My opinion has changed about TTR. Read on, folks.) Restling helped us to pick GP as well, with their detailed Trip Reports. So, a big THANK YOU to them. Moving on. We slept like shit the night before we left because WE’RE GOING TO FUCKING CANCUN TOMORROW, that’s why. I’m sure we’re the only ones that have experienced that. Left Detroit Metro airport a bit over an hour late because we cheaped out and chose Spirit instead of Delta (or any other real airline), and landed an hour late in Cancun, sometime around 4:30 p.m. or so. Emailed USA Transfers before takeoff and let them know we were going to be delayed. No issues, and we got into our sweet ESCALADE and they drove us to our hotel. Yep. Fucking Escalade. For just the two of us. USA Transfers doesn’t fuck around. So we arrive at the Golden, and I’m freaking out because I read the Tripadvisor reviews from the same time as last year and there were a shit-ton of reviews that stated that most people were bumped to the Great Parnassus, and they grabbed our bags and told us to wait at a table in the lobby bar. I was shit-talking to my wife about how this is where they tell us we are being bumped and we are fucked, and it’s a Chuck-E-Cheese vacation from here on out. I was wrong. They handed us some drinks and gave us our keys and away we went to our room. We were on the 3rd floor, lagoon-view. We had no problem with this. We got to see some great sunsets. Our room was, hmmm, not awesome. It was like a Motel 6, with a large balcony that happened to overlook the lagoon in Cancun. We really didn’t care. The bathroom was updated within the last few years with a large shower, which is one of the things that is important to us, so we were happy. The 2 beds that we had in our room were comfortable, and the sheets were changed every day. I don’t know about any of you, but we prefer 2 beds. One to sleep on and one to play on. Let’s be honest, who likes to sleep in the “wet” spot?? I think I may be losing some of you, so I will turn this into a Q and A, which makes this TR a bit less mundane. Q: Does Golden Parnassus look a bit outdated, compared to other surrounding hotels? A: Yes. The hotels that are adjacent to the GP are all new. Q: Do you care about that sort of thing? A: No. We are in a nice place, on a sweet beach, in Cancun. And its “topless optional.” Q: Dude, was it really “topless?” A: No. The whole time we were there, we didn’t see any topless during the day, except when we busted out the AIWC at Fins Up(beach bar) and persuaded some others to do some titty shots. The Tiki Bar did have some topless shenanigans, but it was after 10:30 p.m. We missed it. We heard about it the next day. Fuck. Q: Was there a bunch of Spring Breakers? A: Yep. Not that we didn’t expect that there would be a younger crowd during March, but, holy shit, there were a bunch of singles aged 18-25 that were not under control. I thought that the age limit was 21, but there were definitely 18 year-olds getting over-served and being obnoxious. A lot of the problems that we saw were the twenty-somethings. The 25-year-old crowd definitely put a damper on some nights, especially the single AMERICAN males. (The UK males were very well-behaved) There seemed to be a group of about 20 that were always over-served and seemed to be ready to start shit at any given moment at night at the Tiki Bar. Like, they were not there to have fun, but they were there to be obnoxious asshats that wanted to start shit with others and fight. Kind of wrecked the vibe. There was a dude who passed out at the bar, and the GP staff had to put him into a wheelchair and take him to his room. His friends were of no help to him whatsoever. Q: Did you go on the Boobs Cruise? A: We did. Q: Was it the highlight of your trip? A: Goddamn right it was. This was our first Boobs Cruise, and there was nothing that could remotely compare to the fun we had on that boat. The shit that we saw and did…wow. Holy shit. Q: Care to elaborate? A: Nope. You have to see it for yourself. Q: Would you go on another Boobs Cruise? A: Are you fucking kidding me?? I would fly down to Cancun for 1 day to do it again. Q: There’s a rumor circulating around here that you brought some AIWC and ended up getting every dude at Fins Up to do AIWC shots off of their wives’ sweet naked tits, during the day. Is this true? A: Confirmed. Guilty as charged. Q: You mentioned that you changed your initial opinion about TTR, and now want to go there. What is that all about? A: Well, we walked through the Sexy pool on our way to the dock for the Boobs Cruise. We looked at each other and said, “Wow. This is pretty cool. There’s topless people having a blast. This could be us.” After the Boobs Cruise, we went up to the hot tub in the Premier Members’ area with some Premier Members and stayed for a few hours. It was a blast. An eye-opening blast. Holy shit. Please don’t ask how we did this. We don’t want anyone getting in trouble. But, THANK YOU, (you know who you are). Q: What were the Highlights? A: The hotel was clean. The food was top notch. The service was top-notch. What else could you want? Q: Will you be interested in answering any other questions that people may have about Golden Parnassus? A: Absolutely. I’m sure I’ve forgotten to include plenty of info. Ask away.