This is my first attempt ever at a trip report and it’s not exactly brief; please be gentle February 18th-25th 2019 – This was the second trip for myself (Dave) and GN, we brought WR with us for her first trip. Overall, we’d all describe our experience as EPIC!! Not that there weren’t some bumps along the way but nothing that distracted us from the overall experience. Please keep in mind most of this is from my perspective with some input from GN. Because we’re a triad and sometimes pair off in different combinations I’m sure I missed some of what went on. Oh yeah alcohol may have fogged my memory of some of the fun times. Monday Feb. 18th – Up at 4AM for the drive to the airport and I’ll skip the rest of that craptacular story. Due to weather our flight arrived around 3 which was about 2 hours late and we were randomly selected to have our luggage physically examined by Mexican Immigration. It didn’t take the customs lady long to figure out which resort we we’re staying at…lol It took about 15 minutes for the search but there was nothing to be found and we were on our way. Our ride from USA Transfers was easy to find, they loaded up the SUV and we were off. Alfredo our driver was friendly and entertaining; better yet he had some cold beers for us. The drive to the resort was about 25 minutes (or 2 beers if that’s how you calculate vacation time). Upon arrival Carlos(#1) took charge of our luggage and we were escorted over to the Premier office where we met our concierge Cristian. While Cristian was taking care of the check-in details our welcome drinks arrived and we were officially on vacation as far as I was concerned. Because we were on a referral, we needed to schedule the sales presentation which we setup for 10AM on Tuesday. We had booked a Garden View room which is what we got facing the quiet pool. The room was really a little small for the three of us but it’s what we asked for. Dinner that night was at the buffet, it was all good but nothing particularly special. After dinner it was time for a nap and then off to Bash for super hero night where we rocked the place to nearly 3AM, nothing beats a 3AM burger or hot dog from the Bash buffet… Tuesday Feb.19th – The phone rang at 9AM, seems the sales presentation includes a wake-up call ☹ Anyways WR and I got up (GN was having none of it at 9AM) threw on some clothes and wandered down to meet Cristian who got us setup with Ricardo who would be giving us the pitch. We started with a little breakfast, told some stories back and forth trying to have some fun with it. Fun aside Ricardo and I both set some clear expectations about how things would proceed and we were not exactly on the same page, we were honest and respectful but both firm in our positions. Ricardo wanted a firm yes or no at the end of the session and I told him I don’t make big ticket decisions without some time to think and that if he needed a snap decision, I could give it to him now and it was no. We moved on from there, did a tour, talked some more (to his credit Ricardo is an entertaining guy to spend some time with) and eventually ended up in the sales room which just happens to have its own bar. I’ll write more about what happened in a post dedicated to their sales tactics and what can and can’t be negotiated, but after agreeing to a break at 12:30 I returned at 2 with a qualified yes. That kicked off the detailed negotiations which included the sales manager Diego(#1) and Sofia from contracts. By 5PM we had a deal. I found everyone involved professional and respectful and actually enjoyed the process. At no time did I feel like I couldn’t stand up with a hard no and leave. The one downside is that I effectively lost a day of my vacation. At that point it was serious nap time, after that it was the buffet for dinner again. The ShitShow alternate theme for the night was Devil’s Dungeon Fetish which suited us just fine as we lean towards the kinky side of the spectrum. GN led both WR and I into the party on leashes which definitely attracted some attention. WR tapped out early but GN and I partied on into the wee hours and ran into Brent from the Shitshow who hooked us up with some swag. Burgers from the buffet capped of the evening. Wednesday Feb. 20th – WR and I did breakfast at Sea Flirt which was excellent but I had work to do. One of the perks we got in the negotiation was a room upgrade from Garden View to Penthouse <insert Jefferson’s theme song> downside to that is we had to pack all our stuff up to move it. Carlos(#1) took care of the actual move, I don’t quite know how he managed to wrangle 3 large bags and 2 carry-ons without a cart but he got the job done. GN and WR spent most of their day at the Sky Bar munching on all the amazing food up there and I joined them on the roof after the move was done. Around 4PM we decided to go and organize the room and test the butler service. We talked to Carlos(#2), our butler, and requested a bottle of tequila for the bar; not thinking much about it we headed out for dinner at Romanza and the food was as good as we remembered it; I highly recommend the Osso Bucco. Deserts were a disappointment both the Crème Brûlée and the tiramisu felt like they had come from an outsource kitchen. Upon returning to the room we were shocked to not only find a fine bottle of tequila but a bar fully stocked with top shelf liquor and glassware, completely blew our minds!! The ShitShow alternate theme for the night was Hats & Heels but GN was feeling a little under the weather so WR and I headed down and met up with the ShitShow crew in one of the cabanas. WR may have gotten a little friendly with Ritchie behind the bar, seemed every time she ordered a drink, she got two. I went up to check on GN at one point and when I got back our waitress Maggie was arriving with a tray full of blow jobs, those were pretty much the end of WR for about 36 hours…lol No late-night snack for me ☹ Thursday Feb. 21st – WR was down for the count Thursday, no amount of Oral Rehydration Salts or green juice was going to help. Another butler, Estefania, knocked on the door around 10AM just to check if we needed anything. We asked for a few mixers to restock the bar which arrived at some point during the day. GN and I split the day between the various pools and bars. We did room service for dinner, which was excellent, and managed to restart WR’s engine for School Girl/Plaid night. GN and I snuck off for some quiet time at the sports bar which seems overly large and underused. After they threw us out, we ran into a couple of semi-drunk guys who were part of a bachelor party (on the hunt I suspect) and then headed back to Bash for some late-night food. Friday Feb. 22nd - Up early for breakfast at the buffet for us all, then WR and I were headed for our first Boobs Cruise. GN saw us off at the dock as she couldn’t have come with her mobility issues (standing for 5 hours was not an option on a rough sea!). I’m not going to get into the details, there’s lots of Boobs Cruise stories out there, but I will say it’s one rockin’ boat; Chinos and Sara69 kept the party going and the crew kept our glasses full. Kudos to Steve and Jannet for putting something awesome and unique together. My memory after the cruise seems to be faulty/non-existent but I would like to say a big thank you to LionsNzebras for having an eye out for GN while WR and I were off the resort. I did take a mean fall on the wet tile around the hot tub that night, more on that later. Generally, I’m not one to promote anyone’s cause but if you have the means I’d respectfully ask you to consider supporting Chinos Cause for Cancer Dreams. His story and the good work he’s done since for children with cancer and their families truly touched me. Chinos Cause for Cáncer Dreams #noonefightsalone #fuckcancer Saturday Feb. 23rd – Oh the burn!! Spray on SPF 30 doesn’t cut it on the boat, I’d recommend nothing less than SPF 50 in crème format; don’t be the lobsters like WR and I!! This day was pretty much a write off because WR and I were dumb asses; all of us spent some time at the quiet pool in the cool water and in the shade on the roof. A visit to the pharmacy and a nap later we were almost good to go; GN took a fall on a melted ice cube that made me look like a wimp (blood and everything), more on that later too. We all made it down to rock out glow night!! WR did bail early but that was the perfect opportunity for GN and I to spend some quality time down on the beach beds together (probably my best memory of the trip) Long over due hot dogs from the buffet capped of the evening. Sunday Feb. 24th – Flag Day in Mexico! Started the day with an awesome room service breakfast on the balcony, nothing like that view! After breakfast we did some organizing and packing so we wouldn’t have to rush on our last morning and I headed down to the lobby to find someone to talk to about the tile, particularly around the hot tub. It took some asking but eventually I spoke to Fernanda (hopefully I got that name right) who seemed to take my fall quit seriously and after seeing the pictures escalated things and assured me that my suggestion of anti-slip strips would be a priority, time will tell I suppose. That afternoon the 3 of us relaxed and cuddled on the bed to watch Flashdance because WR had never seen it, sad but true. Dinner was at Romanza again, I had an awesome seared tuna on a bed of asparagus risotto and finished up with one of their sexy coffees. GN and WR enjoyed their meals as well, GN is still raving about the profiteroles she had for desert. Monday Feb. 25th – Last day. I got up early and took a quiet walk around the resort enjoying the sunrise before taking a seat at the sexy pool bar to make some trip notes and reflect on how lucky I am. I ran into Freddy who was our bartender on the roof last November, don’t know how or why but he remembered me…lol GN came down to fetch me and someone we came to call “air guitar guy” was already hammered and barfing at 9:30 AM, that’s some hardcore dedication to the party!! GN and I had a quick buffet breakfast before heading up to finish packing. We still had some time so we wandered the resort saying our goodbyes and enjoying our last moments. Around 12:30 I got a text letting me know Cesar was on his way to our room to grab our bags and right on time at 12:45 our ride was there. Loredo was our driver who was friendly but seemed to understand we were bummed out about leaving. Flight home was on-time and uneventful but once we landed, we were screwed. All the roads home were closed because of weather and multi-car pileups, we should have stayed one more day in Mexico. Thankfully some friends in the city saved our asses and put us up for the night. Tuesday Feb.26th – Finally made it back to Barrie. Snow sucks, just saying! It’s impossible to mention everyone at TTR that made our vacation what it was but I wanted to make some special mentions missed above: Josue who took care of our room, because we’re a triad and love our room service I’m sure we were an extra challenge for him. Our room was always pristine when we returned. Jorge (don’t call him George, not cool) our bartender at the Sky Bar. This man can make a mean drink and always had the time to talk and answer our questions. Nicole our waitress at the Sky Bar. Just a lovely person doing a fantastic job, she actually remembered us from our last trip. Freddy, our man from Sky Bar last trip! Managed to see him briefly and reconnect. Such a lovely, friendly, outgoing person! Kelly, one of the entertainers…always had something nice to say to everyone she came across. The English accent didn’t hurt either. Exterminator man. I don’t know what his name was, but he was a stealthy motherfucker…lol
Spray on lotion sucks in general. Have always been burnt when using and the cost per ounce is like triple compared to regular.
I really enjoyed reading about your trip. I liked the details. Thanks for taking the time and sharing. You touched on one of my favorite parts of every trip... taking a moment to reflect on how lucky you are. It is so true. To be at a place like TTR in each of our own unique but amazing situations truly is awesome and we all should feel very fortunate. Thanks again!
Awesome Review... Makes me want to go amd Book a Trip back to TTR right now... lol ! Maybe see you there again with the Chaos Crew in November if I make it back...
