I worried about the same thing and solved the problem with these: Cooltan Tan-Through Shirts and Swimwear Wear them over the square cuts or bikini as they are linerless, super light and I still get a tan but can walk around and go into public places!
I'm curious what she thought you were going to do with it. Did she think you would just toss it in the beach bag, or on one of those damn poolside chairs like a hot dog on the grill until you got around to doing something with it again? I think your wife needs to meet Norm. He's like Canadian Santa in a thong, with absolutely no fear or shame.
I'd be more inclined to cover a banana hammock with the board shorts. I'm certainly not a fitness model, but I want to limit the pale area to as small as possible
I have no idea what she actually thinks. But the comments she makes in this regard always have me scratching my head. It's not a turtle and doesn't just retract back into it's shell. "Steve your shorts are a little tight I can see your stuff" "Elyse unless my balls are hanging out the bottom of my shorts, there isn't anything else I can do. I am wearing underwear."
