Me stating that I didn't understand was an invitation for you to explain/educate me. I'm sorry you viewed it as rude. The double standard I was referring to is (by your replies) it's not OK for him to play with a female you don't approve of.......but (by your replies) . I was just trying to understand that dynamic. There's nothing rude inferred or implied. Sorry you took it that way.
And what if a married woman in the lifestyle approached you on her own? So many different scenarios to consider.... LOL And to lnjnnc.... may I just say that i admire your openness to learning about others' views and ways of doing things when they are different from your own. And re this particular situation, I maintain that "fair' does not always mean "equal." What one spouse/partner is comfortable with, the other may not be. So a couple having different boundaries and parameters for play for each other may just represent the limits that each individual is comfortable with. If they are happy with their own parameters in their relationship, then who are we outsiders to say its "unfair?" -Lora
It would certainly be flattering. To steal a football quote, since its almost football season, it will be a game time decision. LOL
Hey it's all cool...another example of issues with text/messages. I DO appreciate you wanting to educate yourself and ask questions about how different couples communicate and have agreements. Not long ago I too had lots of anxieties and questions about how all these types of relationships work. I read a lot, talked about it and Skip and I have good communication. Without going into private particulars about what we like to do and who we do it with...Skip just stated to me "it's really about your choice and what you (me) are comfortable with". It works for us. :icon_lol:
I think when a person who has not done their homework, asked questions or educated themselves hears the term "swingers" their set of preconceptions kicks in and it's usually the most extreme swapping or orgy view they get in their heads. In reality there is an incredible array of acceptable levels of activity and agreements between couples as their are couples. Ali and I are not in the lifestyle but are curious how it works and on our previous trips made the effort to talk with people who were to find out about activity and rules etc. We found out many interesting things but the main one was that if you are genuinely interested (either for knowledge or participation reasons), are completely non-judgmental and are respectful , a person or couple will answer you sincerely and honestly. I also think that those not in the lifestyle are sometimes intimidated by those that are and think they'll be preyed upon and this has not been our experience at all.
Also point to be aware of is people in "open" relationships aren't necessarily "swingers". I really do like the term "sex positive". It's non judgmental about the sexual practices of others.
