well, all our lyrics are in frames on the wall so anyone can sing then really, we don't care do we. Our songs are a gift to the public. I might right a love song today 'heavy horse you're killing me but I love thee so' or i might call it 'down on the brown'. Ive made us some outfits out of woodchip for when we do our sack the p** rioting.
That's why the public love us so much, cos we give so much back to the fans. Oh GOD yah, I'm rocking the heavy horse. Write that one first. You're definitely the main songwriter, will you get me a silver plated crack pipe with the rotalties? Sack the p** is gonna be brilliant. I hope I don't mess up my woodchip though, or else there's gonna me much p** head in ratman fryer.
I love having an OBE for services to the British public, do you?! No I wont buy you a silver plated crack pipe cos you'll only go and pawn it down Brick Lane when you're desperate for gear! ll make you one out of a mini martell bottle tho, and stick a few sequins on it.
Oh yes. I expect we'll be made Dames soon. Although we won't accept it from The Establishment will we? God, that remeinds me, I must find a new pawn shop to frequent as Bert won't let me back in his one after I stole the obligatory violin from the window when he gave me a sh*t quote for some OAP's jewellery. Gah! Can't wait for my mini Martell bottel.
Mate we are the most anti-establisment people around, we'll only accept our awards for a laugh - we can sell them on ebay. Is that the violin you broke over ratman's head, the one you chucked in his frier? oh well, it was only an antique, who cares about old sh1t anyway. what shall we do this weekend then? shall we rehearse?
We'll do an eBay scam as well, keep re-selling them and taking the cash in. Yeah, that's the one. It's cos he only gave me 4 nuggets, the tight ***. Serves him right, I'm gonna burn down his shop. Yeah, lets rehearse in the flats. I've got a new riff I want you to hear, you get the effect by running your guitar strings down a power sander, it's gonna be f*ckin great in a live gig.
Lets nip round later and torch the b*stard then. he'll soon know who we are! Lets set up a paypal account and demand our fans send us money, they will of course. Idiots! The power sander sounds wicked, I reckon you should use at on ratman's itesticles when we get him on stage too. Wonder what Mum is cooking us for tea, bless her.
Hahahaaaa, damn right he will, I hope the whole family will be in! God, they so will won't they. Shall we demand 20% of their wage packets? They can send us H as well. Yeah, I will do. He can scream for mercy - record it and we'll sample it on our next platinum hit. I think she mentioned pasty & chips. She was worried you were missing the South West. We might have clotted cream too.
20% at least! its the joining fee for the cult - 20% of their monthly pay and in return they get the dressings from your septic skag wound and a bag of snot. oh - they also get to fetch our gear for us with the possible added extra of getting arrested. will the clotted cream be laced with valium? i cant eat it otherwise. we can go and taunt ratman after tea, thank god my curfew has finished so I can go out on the rampage again.
We'll make the fans collect our rat kebabs as well. Yes it will. Mum knows all our dietary requirements, she's fantastic like that. I love being an Irish travellers child, do you?! God yeah, that was getting awkward, dodging the pigs everynight. I might shag Michael Carroll, shall I?
