These are really great posts, guys- funny, informative, and containing much more, besides. I'll have to spend some time digesting the full implications of what you've said so I'll be ready with a strategy, next time! It seems to me that, with this, we've hit on a true, and fairly deep, cultural difference. My wife and I almost consider it obligatory to respond to a friend's invitation, considering it part of the responsibility owed another whom we call friend. They, in turn, return this support when we extend invitations, such as I did, the other night. I didn't even tell anyone the significance of the event, yet every single friend, other than the Mexican ones, showed up (on time as well, but that's another matter). As for preferring not to plan ahead, I've had plenty of experience with this in my work. I'm summoned to meetings on very short notice, often the same day; and, sometimes, the notice is so short the meeting has already occurred when notice is given!
My brother married a mexican in Brownsville. His family is scattered from coat to coast. The only people who showed up from his side were two aunts who lived in Texas. I was asked to be best man and wouldn't make the trip from PA. All her family showed up in the hundreds including people that flew in from Portugal. I think they feel very obligated to family events including holiday gatherings.
Weddings Handyman, I've seen something like that, myself. One of my sons married a Latina, and much the same thing happened- she had what seemed like hundreds of guests show up, and he had very few who made the trip; yet, the guests were almost all from the U.S. This aspect of Mexican culture seems to travel well, and endure. Gringation, I tried this on one of my Mexican friends and she agreed, 100%. She said typically half her invitees show up; none call to offer an excuse for not showing up; the remaining half bring others, uninvited. Good thing they're prepared to go out to pick up food and drinks! Who could ever prepare properly, with that level of uncertainty? This will really take some getting used to, for us: there's just too much Germanic influence at work, I'm afraid.... By the way, if you end up inviting me, Gringation, would you mind if I bring just a few guests, in case someone decides, at the last minute, they'd like to come, too? :icon_wink:
I guess that really depends on the raising of the girl/guy, for example, my brother got married in November, in Cancun to a mexican girl (forget about that statement, we are all mexicans hahahaha) and from my brother's side we were only 15-20 persons, when on her side there were over a hundred... yet again, i think shes just a spoiled brat... lol And about the not showing up, im embarrassed to admit i do that waaaay more often than id like to... and i dont really know why... there isnt really a reason, at least i havent figured it out...
In defense of American relatives, the vast majority of my family is going to make it to Cancun for my wedding. My uncle is even performing the ceremony! Only a few aren't coming due to health reasons or army duty. That being said, my fiance's family alone is about 100 people (his parents come from families of 7 and 8 kids...imagine that plus all the cousins) and mine is only going to be about 30 with almost everybody. Mormis: I've also started flaking on invitations since I moved to Mexico... something I NEVER used to do. I guess bc people do it to me all the time, so why waste a phone call on someone who wouldn't show me the same courtesy?
Double standard? OK, Gringation, and Mormis said much the same thing, I think. But, there may be a double standard. I'll explain.... I visited Colorado Springs and Reno in late March. It snowed. My connecting flight got delayed, and I was not in class on the day scheduled, getting back to Cancun a day late. I called my director, and she said, "Don't worry about it: the students will think nothing of it." But, NO. They grilled me, next day, and kept bringing it up. Then, on one those two days of awful rains we had here this spring, and the taxis refused to carry me to the parts of town where my classes were- saying, "No me queda", when I told them where I needed to go- and I again missed class. Same routine, students didn't "let it drop", they grilled me. They were not at all forgiving that I hadn't made it to class. Could this be a double standard, something applied to me because I was a foreigner, and always in class, on time: or, could it be that Mexicans don't really like being "stood up" any better than the next guy, and just accept it better from each other? [I know this is more like the "host" didn't show up for a party he called; but, the significance for me was that the director seemed to be mistaken about how the students would take it, and she's the Mexican director of the training department of an all Mexican organization with hundreds of employees.]
V, i see it as ME being part of the problem you see... hahahaha i also think that mexicans are forgiving, most of the time, specially if you are never late, if you are late once they will find it like something weird, but not necessarily bad... i think that your students were giving you a hard time because at the end they are students, no matter what the age they will think that they are kinda "wasting their time" when you dont show up for whatever... we get to be pretty tolerant, i guess it just depends on which circles you move around... or if you do it too often, which i dont think its the case for what you are saying
Mormis, I can see one possible take on this. Perhaps the director was just expressing her own casual attitude towards the whole thing, which may not reflect the students' attitude toward others not being in their place, at the proper time. But, the students seem to allow themselves a great degree of latitude about when they show up, with no more than 5 % seeming to take "time" as very important. I do understand the concept of "students will be students", and have to work with it, in all cases. But, tardiness has been a problem, in settings where I've worked in large institutions. Where I see this reflected in the work of others is a note the director put up, announcing my classes, in which she wrote to the students not to be late, that the teacher was "super punctual" (which is actually true!), and she seemed to be anticipating they would be late. I've got a 7:00 AM meeting with a group of four students, tomorrow: it will be interesting to see if they're "on time". This same group arrived forty minutes late for a meeting, last evening. Just to give you an idea of how tolerant I've grown of this, I didn't even call to confirm they were coming until they were 25 minutes late!
well i have a problem attending events, but i rather not go than being late... hate being late and having people being late to whatever... specially when because of someone's fault im late for something hahaha but yeah i guess its just how we are... ill keep on looking for an answer
