Wow! Okay, where to begin? USA Transfers - Incredible. Total professionals, on time both ways, cold beer both ways, and on time. Easy 5 stars. When we first walked in the resort staff was there with a cool towel. Weird I thought since we left an air conditioned airport and got directly into an air conditioned van with an ice cold beer. Got out of the air conditioned van and into an air conditioned lobby. Oh well, it was still a cool thing to do. 5 stars for cool towel guy. So we got to TTR at 12:30 with spare swim suits packed in carry on because we thought room would not be ready. Surprise, it was ready! Check in was fast and champagne cocktail was refreshing. Check in person was very polite. Timeshare person approached us immediately and was also very polite. We smiled and said we were not interested. She smiled, gave us brief rundown of where the concierge was and their function along with a brochure of the resort and said "thank you and call me if you change your mind"! Mind blown! Baggage guy immediately took us to our Garden View room and was also extremely nice. 5 more stars for all them! Our room was a "Garden View" which must be Cancun Spanish for "view of the street" because last time we were here we had almost the exact same "Garden View". Luggage Guy saw the look in my wifes eye and said he would be happy to try and arrange another room. We politely refused because it's like everyone says, 'you're not here for the room', so we were happy with it with a few exceptions (we did give him a nice tip). 1 - it was on the far side of the quiet side on the third floor. Our view was of the bus stop in front of the hotel. Which I am sure a few random bus riders caught a few late night shows. The noise was also bad but hotel supplied some ear plugs and that resolved the problem. 2 - NO ICE MACHINES! Not sure how it is in the tower but for us, we either had to a) order ice through room service which was $5 per trip, or b) walk down three flights of stairs, through another maze of up/down stairs, walk into the main lobby, get a bucket of ice from the bartender (whom we still tipped a couple of bucks), and reverse the magical stair process. Which, by the way, the stairs are straight out of a Harry Potter novel, I swear they changed every time we walked them. Other than that, our room was pretty damn good considering we were ready for it with all the hacks you gracious people prepped us for. PLUS - eight channels of porn for about $12. Double plus cool. 4 stars but I'll explain why later. Restaurants were very good. Guys, bring a couple of pair of pants. I only brought one pair and that was my mistake. We did not eat at She or Romanza but every where else was top notch. Service was excellent and fast, and food was hot. Except the ice cream...that was cold. 5 stars easy. Sexy pool... what can I say that hasn't been said already? It's huge. A little too huge for my taste but I only have the old one to compare it to. Bartenders, wait staff, and entertainment staff were EFFING AWESOME!!! Always on point and always there. We chatted with all the staff we could there and they were always polite and friendly. As a matter of fact, so were the guests. Only complaint...ALL THE FUCKING CELL PHONES!!! Twice people were trying to take selfies with my topless wife and me behind them. I'm not saying we were in the picture but I personally had to remind them of the policy. And one time it was five minutes after one of the staff held up the "no cellphone" sign. Still, 5 stars overall. Quiet pool was still, well, the quiet pool. 5 stars just because we meet so many cool people there as well. Bash is no Paty'O's, but knowing that and trying not compare the two and you will find that it is it's own very cool place indeed. Shows were very good and service was always top notch. However, TOO MANY FUCKING CELL PHONES! However, yup, you guessed it, 5 stars. MUSIC - Now, let me start by saying, I am old school rock and roll and Motown and my wife is country so we did not hear a whole lot of our type of music. And that's cool. And I am saying this for both Bash and the Sexy Pool, so, the DJ in both places has the most un-enviable job of moving booties from all parts of this globe with all tastes in music. I think they accomplished that and came through like champions! 4.75 stars! Could have been 5 but just too much Pit Bull! Side comment, the most under valued and under utilized place in the place is Score, the sports bar. That place has a TON of potential. I can't believe they don't hold more events there. Anyway, we would stop by there between dinner and Bash and have a couple of cocktails, a little pool, (bartender even showed us how to play dominoes), and some cool A/C while catching up on local sports scores. 5 stars. My next shout out is to Lu Lu, Victor, Fernando, Savy, all the security guys, and all the cool people behind the scenes that never stopped making this an awesome vacation. 5 HUGE stars!!! Next note is all the single people we ran into. There were a lot. Both male and female. "Feels" like that's kind of the flow the resort is going for. It wasn't bad though. Just a little different. They get no stars cuz they're still just kids and they'd end up posting them on facebook. Now, here comes the weird part and I can't believe I'm saying this...Would we go back? Well as it stands the answer is NO. And there are two very fixable reasons why: 1 - ICE MACHINES - We have stayed in hotels around this planet and I can't remember any where an ice machine (or ice with a simple room service call) was not available somewhere close. Even in a closer central location would be okay. Twice a day I went to get ice. Once after 'snap' for an afternoon cocktail and late at night for night caps. I know, I know, some of you will say, 'just simply become premier and problem solved' but is it worth spending many thousands just to be a Star Bellied Sneetch? FYI - this is why the room only got 4 stars. 2 - CELL PHONES!!! - Until they ban these things from at least the Sexy Pool, we won't be back. Not criticizing those who need their cell phone for important reasons but if you do need it that bad, take a break, walk into the lobby and use your phone. This would be very easy for security to enforce as well. Just paint a red stripe around the banned areas and tell people "No visible cell phones beyond this point". We actually saw a girl in the buffet restaurant face timing her friend with her back to the glass of the Sexy Pool. At that point I was just over it but hey, check YouTube, some of you may be on it. You may flame away if you must and I'm sure I'll get the 'don't let the door hit you' comments and that's okay but it's not a lot we're looking for, just some cold drinks and a little privacy. Which is pretty much their niche. We still love the place though. Peace out.