Why are ducks feet flat? Stomping out forest fires! Why are elephants feet flat? Stomping out flaming ducks!
How can you tell your girlfriend has been putting on weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes
Oh we're going science direction? Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest looks at him and says; "FINALLY! We can have mass"!
How many Habs fans does it take to change a light bulb?? 5! 1 to change it and 4 to tell you just how good that old light bulb used to be..
What's the difference bewteen a Canadian and a New Yorker? One says "How's it goin', ay?" and the other says "Ay, how's it goin'?
What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a blowjob? You don't know? Meh, it's not important. Say, who's up for ice cream?
What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale? A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."