Discussion in 'Free For All' started by Neil_Jo, Mar 14, 2013.
Now that's some funny shit!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?
Why does Tigger smell bad? Because he plays with Pooh.
What do you call a hornet in a ghost costume? A BooBee
"I Think You're The Father of One of My Kids"
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.'
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
She replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. So he asks, '
Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?' She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
When John "Dapper Don" Gotti got to the federal prison in Marion Illinois, the prison warden gave him a briefing in the office prior to his release in the general population.
Warden: John, we have activities different nights of the week for inmates. You like movies?
On Monday we have move night for the inmates popcorn, sodas, latest releases. Do you like international cuisine?
Warden: Well Tuesday is international fine dining night. one week we will have Chinese food, the next week Italian, Mexican food etc....
Warden: John, do you like homosexuals'?
Warden: Well, then hen your not going to like Wednesday's very much.....
A old man is riding on a packed bus in rush hour one afternoon in the city. A pretty young girl gets on, and the old man tells here "Hey there! I'm a old man, and I cannot give up my seat to you, as you see I have a cane to help me walk, but if you like you can sit on my lap if you have a long ride!" She said OK what the hell, she sits on his lap for the ride, the bus hits a bump, and then a few minutes later another bump, and he looks at her and says:" Honey, you better get up, I'm not as old as I thought I was!"
My luck is so bad, I tried phone sex for the first time, now I have an ear infection!!
Okay, I'll be honest: this one got a laugh out of me. Terrible, but funny nonetheless.
Hay moron, I bet you are think N---- jokes are funny too. I like this one
What do they call a Minnesotan virgin? An ugly 12 year old that can outrun her brothers.
Now that's funny!!!