Easiest way to immigrate to the US is go to Tampa Florida, stop by the Windmill Club and ask for 'Fat Tony' (best to just ask for Tony dropping the 'fat' part don't want to cause offence). He'll set you up with one of the strippers. Next step, get married. It'll cost you about 10,000 in total paid in installments over the time it takes you to get your green card as you go through each stage. After numerous trips to immigration and you final payment to 'Mercedes' you end up with your green card, get divorced and you're home free! For women pop round to the Subway Sandwiches around the corner and speak to the Lebanese guys. Then repeat the above process. (Disclaimer: The above is a fictional scenario and is in no way intended to promote illegal immigration into the good old US of A (although it'll cost you a lot less than a real wife will in the long run! )
Very funny, The truth, however, is that part of the deal in applying to get a Green Card for your non-citizen spouse is the agreement to provide 120 months (that's ten years) support irrespective of the future condition of your marriage. So Mercedes can cost you more than... (wait for it)... a Mercedes (rim shot).
Sorry to resurrect the thread, but V, I finally found direct quotes about what I was talking about -- that spouses are given visa number priority when you are jointly filing the I-130 and I-485, for instance if the immigrant was admitted to the US on a tourist visa. I shortened the link, as it was pretty nasty in original form: http://tinyurl.com/yka6dgc From page 1, section "What does the petition do for my relative?": Your relative’s place in line will be based on the date you file your petition. So there is an advantage to filing as soon as possible. There is no waiting period for immediate relatives of U.S. citizens, which include a U.S. citizen’s spouse, parent, or unmarried child under 21 years of age. And page 2, section "After I file, how long will it take before my relative can immigrate?": The law gives special consideration to immediate relatives of U.S. citizens, which includes a U.S. citizen’s spouse, unmarried children under 21 years of age, and parents. •There is no waiting list to immigrate these relatives. •The U.S. Department of State will invite them to apply for an immigrant visa as soon as we approve your I-130 petition. • If your petition has been approved, and your relatives are currently in the United States after making a legal entry (and they meet certain other requirements), they may be able to file applications with USCIS to adjust to permanent resident status. Just so ya know I'm not crazy
Not at all, Coby, I'm glad you dug that up, and aren't crazy. It seems pretty clear, and appears to make sense of some of the situations you described. Even more, it's humane.
Fiance visas We spoke earlier, about fiance visas being more appropriate than a tourist visa when the intent is to marry, and live in the U.S. Recently, I heard of a case in which the fiance first applied for a tourist visa, and was turned down. Very dejected that they couldn't go to the U.S. and get married as planned, they let four months go by before a friend told them of the availability of a fiance visa, and persuaded them to try, again. They had videos of much of their courtship period, providing more than adequate proof of the genuineness of the relationship, and their intentions- more than overcoming any prejudice that might have attached to the application owing to the prior, unsuccessful attempt to get a tourist visa- and the fiance visa was granted in short order. (There are no quotas of any kind on fiance visas, which lead to immediate permanent residence status, with the right to work.)
