A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk round the block? Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.' 'What's that mean?' asked the child. 'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.' Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.' The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?' The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started...
Montana's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane, piloted by two students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in College Station. Montana search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening
Here’s the start of April’s 2011 .pdf file for us April 2011 TTR Addicts. If you want to get on it, please e-mail me your: NAMES, CANCUNCARE SCREEN NAMES, DATES YOU’LL BE THERE (IF YOU’RE THERE IN MOSTLY APRIL )(NOT GOING TO INCLUDE FOLKS THAT ARE THERE MOSTLY IN MARCH OR MAY THIS TIME) & A PICTURE OF YOU ALONG WITH YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS TO ME— vetter79@rochester.rr.com Woody 315-986-7450 As the list updates, I will forward it to everyone on the list that I have addresses for. Hopefully this worked out for most when we did it this year so let’s see if we can do it again! Woody & Sue (We’ve booked for April 12th – 21st 2011)
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife. Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?' 'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies. 'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Cooter's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.' Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.
THE ITALIAN MAN OF THE HOUSE THE Italian Man of His House. With his Italian wife! Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man of Your House.' He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?' His Sicilian wife Gina replied, 'The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess.'
Oh This one is kinda rude but pretty damn funny! Scientists discovered that most women will, at some point in their lives contain intelligent DNA.... unfortunately 95% of them will spit it out!
