It's contagious I was there in January and going back April 12/19 Meeting people from CC really helps to make the vacation more fun and enjoyable.
Just remember folks, if you all want to get on the .pdf list, I'll need the following form you. Woody (The Woodman) Here’s the start of April’s 2011 .pdf file for us April 2011 TTR Addicts. If you want to get on it, please e-mail me your: NAMES, CANCUNCARE SCREEN NAMES, DATES YOU’LL BE THERE (IF YOU’RE THERE IN MOSTLY APRIL) & A PICTURE (Hi Res if you can),OF YOU ALONG WITH YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS TO ME— vetter79@rochester.rr.com Woody 315-986-7450 As the list updates, I will forward it to everyone on the list that I have addresses for. Hopefully this worked out for most when we did it this year so let’s see if we can do it again! [FONT="]Woody & Sue (We’ve booked for April 12th – 21st 2011)[/FONT]
Jails and Nursing Homes Here's the way it should be: Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes. This would correct two things in one motion: Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc. They would receive money instead of having to pay it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly... if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes. All meals and snacks would be brought to them. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists. Simple clothing - ie. shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request. There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens. Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost. They would receive daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection. The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect. As for the criminals: They would receive cold food. They would be left alone and unsupervised. They would receive showers once a week. They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month. They would have no hope of ever getting out. "Sounds like justice to me!" (If You agree, pass this on!)
Ice fishing I went ice fishing with a couple of buddies. We just about had a nice hole cut in the ice when we heard a booming voice saying, "There's no fish under the ice!". At first we thought God was talking to us but it turned out it was just some guy using the arena loudspeaker....
Romance Novel He held me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room. I had never been there but I knew this was his room. I knew what he was going to do to me, and I knew I was going to let him. The door closed quietly and we were alone. He approached silently from behind and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and caressing upward along my tender calves slowly and steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved under my skirt to my thighs I gave a slight shudder and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. His knowing fingers continued upward across my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, his teasing hands quickly moved to my shoulders and slid down my tingling spine. By entire body was throbbing when he discovered my pink, lace thong. Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. "This is a man," I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking "No" for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say... "Okay all done. Here's your purse, ma'am. Have a nice flight."
The Perfect Husband Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. they'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty thousand if it's what you really want." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made the earth round.
Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student. A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!" "That must've been scary," said the teacher. "It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF, but before she could say "Fuck!," the Rottweiler ate her! The teacher had to leave the room.
