Funny, But Not Funny

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by Restling, Apr 16, 2020.

  1. Restling

    Restling I can choose my own title Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2012
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    818
    Ratings:
    +1,635 / 4
    There has been a lot of confusion about how to protect yourself and "flatten the curve" so let me clear things up with some practical advice.

    1. You can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

    2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

    3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

    4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

    5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

    6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

    7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

    8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

    9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

    10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there.

    11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms.

    12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out for exercise.

    13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

    14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

    15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

    16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours.

    17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

    18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

    19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

    20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

    21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

    22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

    23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of.

    24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).

    25. Orange man bad.

    26. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, but we must no longer be locked up for that.

    All of these except 25 were once recommended by the CDC.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  2. Stacia_and_John

    Stacia_and_John T&A Tour Guide Registered Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2012
    Messages:
    4,338
    Likes Received:
    3,033
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Ratings:
    +4,618 / 14
    Dude, I'm going to tell you that was hilarious!

    Of course, I spent over 5 years as a 911 paramedic honing my dark humor, so... don't take my word for it.
     
  3. Restling

    Restling I can choose my own title Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2012
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    818
    Ratings:
    +1,635 / 4
    This one fits in here pretty good too.

    I'm not posting this for debate. I don’t need any comments. Unfriend me if you must. Just please consider this...when you think the President is a jerk...

    The bottom line has been that Trump IS a jerk. He’s crude, he bloviates, he gets his feelings hurt and he’s a hot head. And he should stay off Twitter. Let me tell you what else he is. He is a guy that demands performance. He is a guy that asks lots of questions.

    The questions he asks aren’t cloaked in fancy phrases, they are “why the hell....” questions. For decades the health industry has thrown away billions of face masks after one use. Trump asks, “Why the hell are we throwing them away? Why not sterilize them and use them numerous times?”

    He’s the guy that gets hospital ships readied in one week, when it would have taken a bureaucrat weeks or months to get it done. He’s the guy that gets temporary hospitals built in three days.

    He’s the guy that gets industries to build ventilators and face masks in a business that’s highly regulated by agencies that move like sloths.

    He’s the guy that asks why we aren’t using drugs that might work on people that are dying; what the hell do we have to lose? In spite of all the naysayers.

    He’s the guy that shut down travel from China, when the liberals and the media were screaming xenophobia and racist. Now they are asking why didn't he react sooner? He’s the guy that ran on securing the border in the face of a screaming press and media. When he shut down borders in the midst of the coronavirus virus they were up in arms over such a draconian move. Then the rest of the world followed suit all over, including the European Union between member countries.

    Has he made mistakes, yep. Everyone I know would have. All of these experts wouldn’t have done any better. Trump is working harder than I’ve ever seen a President work. He isn’t hiding in his office, he’s out front every day.

    Take for instance, all the shortages of PPEs and ventilators. I’m unaware of anything that prevented all of these governors from ordering all the PPE and ventilators for emergency purposes over the last two years. And yet, it is Trump’s fault that they didn’t. He’s balanced his approach and listened to the experts, when his detractors said he wouldn’t and couldn’t.

    When he offers hope, he’s lying and when he’s straight forward, he should be hopeful. It’s a no win, but he is not deterred by all of that BS coming from the press and the liberals. I’ll take this kind of leadership over a nice guy that can make eloquent speeches.

    Cowboy logic... He is my President. Copy and paste if you agree.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 2
    • List
  4. Stacia_and_John

    Stacia_and_John T&A Tour Guide Registered Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2012
    Messages:
    4,338
    Likes Received:
    3,033
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Ratings:
    +4,618 / 14
    Again, I am with it.

    I snorted at the "stay off Twitter" line...
     
  5. r&a 1964

    r&a 1964 Guru Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2012
    Messages:
    577
    Likes Received:
    409
    Location:
    Nevada USA
    Ratings:
    +690 / 1
    .Twitter is the smartest thing he has ever done. He controls the entire conversation with one tweet. And the haters fall for it every time.
     
  6. bosfuncpl

    bosfuncpl Regular Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2010
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    82
    Location:
    Boston
    Ratings:
    +127 / 0
    Exactly
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice