Our very first trip to TTR was in 2010, hubby had absolutely no idea what resort we were going to until we got there. I can tell you that he ABSOLUTELY LOVED the choice. Now its the only place we go when travelling without kidlets!!!! It was difficult to keep the secret for the months/days leading up to departure though & I had to make sure to pack my bags when he wasn't around !!!
Exactly. I'd firmly suggest against surprising a partner with a trip to TTR, it can spell disaster for some couples. Even if you know they'll enjoy it, in my opinion it's far better to discuss things like anticipated behaviours (others and yourselves) and where to draw the line, before arriving and avoid someone getting unintentionally hurt, if the other partner has a different idea of what crosses the line for them. It threw me off that a wife or girlfriend had booked secretly without the husband's knowledge, normally it's the other way round. I've always been active on this forum and scoured Cancuncare before my first trip, so had a very good idea what would be going on. My husband kind of relies on me to do the research, trusts me to figure planning out for trips we take. I was very clear before our first trip about what to expect. Even explaining the concept of TTR, he was (pleasantly) surprised at the extent of shenanigans. There's no way I'd of kept quiet to surprise him. We've been together 18 years, so I know him pretty well and knew he'd be fine with it all, but even so, there's no way I wanted to even remotely chance ruining our vacation by keeping him in the dark. Even after all this, we still had a few teething problems our first trip (I was at fault, not him). Not going to tell people what to do, but I honestly think communication between partners before getting to TTR is pretty essential. Avoiding these conversations can lead to jealousy, frustration and arguments.
Looking back now, I really wished I would have just surprised Elyse our first time. We took the gamble together, but I was 95% sure it was going to be fine. It would have been great to just unknowingly throw her in. (this is only something I can say now after 6 trips)
The fact you booked the trip without telling hubby what's in store automatically qualifies you for a BWE prize. Best Wife Ever! Methinks you'll be rewarded, repeatedly.
I told Stephanie I had found what sounded like a great place for a couples and adults only vacation, and she could go topless. That's all she needed to hear, and 15 minutes after arriving at the far end of the sexy pool she turned to me and said, "We are SO coming back". When we got home the serious thong shopping began.
It is kind of fun thinking about what would possibly happen if we surprised our own spouse, isn’t it? For us we talked about it for a while. Discussed interests and limits. Pros and cons. Etc. in a way that was a ton of fun in itself. But my wife is a very independent woman who before doing this wasn’t even thinking about this kind of world existing. If I would of surprised her with a trip to TTR I would of either 1) gotten my balls chopped off Or 2) been cutoff from sex for an undetermined but surely very painful amount of time I am sure there a various ways to enter this type of world but for us it was baby steps w lots of communication before and along the way
Hi 10 April which is a Wednesday Staying 7 nights and will book cruise for the First Friday after we arrive, might do 2 if its fun!
Let me start by giving you a bit of background. I helped manage and/or owned a lifestyle club (now unfortunately closed) for 14 years. So, I have a significant amount of experience with the “I want to surprise my partner” idea. While there is a HUGE difference between Temptation and a such a club, there still is a lot of similarity in the fact that both offer an experience that is potentially outside of one’s comfort zone. I am really surprised to see the comments that suggest that somehow it is ok for a female to surprise a male, but it isn’t ok for a male to surprise a female. I can tell you that the chances of things going sideways apply in both cases. I have plenty of stories to back that up! While in the vast majority of cases things work out ok and both partners are thrilled, there is still a decent chance that the person who is surprised will not be a happy camper and will end up either having a lousy time or in the extreme will cause some sort of argument or worse that could end up in security getting involved. I can’t give a percentage, but it happens often enough that it just makes it a bad idea – to the point that I often lost business with a potential new couple who wanted to this because I did everything possible to convince them to it was not a smart thing to do. In the specific case of Yorky - she tells us that her spouse is “…a good sport and will see the funny side BUT whilst he is reading his Kindle and thumbing through his dolphin identification pamphlet I'll be down at party central having a BLAST! Not sure if she was being a bit humorous or she really means he will spend a lot of time in their room, but if she is serious about that, I am even more convinced that surprising him is not a good idea. But, she knows him well and I clearly don’t know him at all – just suggesting she think long and hard about surprising him. As far as the Boobs Cruise is concerned – I would tell Yorky that you really, really should give him details about the Boobs Cruise before you join the fun. So, even if you do surprise him with the trip, at least talk to him about the cruise before you go on it - fortunately, you can get your money back if you cancel 24 hours in advance. As Kyle noted in one of his posts in this thread, communication between couples in this sort of arena is the key to success. I cannot stress how important talking about rules and limits (even at Temptation where the “shenanigans” are limited compared to a club environment or even Desire) is to the success of your trip. Surprising your partner, IMHO, limits your ability to successfully do that. And Yorky - not matter what you decide about the surprise, I really hope (and expect) that both of you have a terrific trip and that you love it so much you will come back often.
