Etiquette to join

Real advice from a lifestyle couple, who occasionally enjoys the company of a single male.

First step is to lose the aggressive/defensive attitude. You are not a unicorn, there are 1000's of single men available to couples. It isn't all about looks, in fact the opposite is mostly true. Have a great attitude, good personality, be fun, witty, charming and respectful to both and you might get somewhere.

There is no need to ask to play or be pushy. If we are interested, you will know.

Additionally I(husband) make the rules and decides if we will play when it comes to a single male. This is what an open relationship is about, we do it together and as a couple. We don't do it just for one of us. If my wife is interested she will let me know. We have often not played because the guy gave me bad vibes or was just an a$$hole. I actually enjoy watching a guy flirt and have fun to the point he thinks he is going to get lucky only to then turn him down because he ignored me. :aetsch011:

In closing try a different approach than you did here. Be less defensive, more friendly and have fun.

 

Thanks for the real advice.

My original post was not in an aggressive/defensive manner it was a questions that got hammered by a mob of angry people.

Yes there are 1000's of single guys to choose from I am sure, but I don't think every single guy is into every couple either.

There needs to be mutual respect going in both directions

 

I don't think anyone who answered was being judgmental at your choice of lifestyle but that the way you were going about it made you come off as being creepy.

Some people would learn from that, others are defensive. Your choice. There are times in your life where you look in the mirror and say "Dammit, I AM that dude!" and either own it or adjust.

If you are in an open relationship, ( and I'm not intending to doubt that so don't be defensive) ask yourself how you'd want the single guy to act around you and your wife if he wanted to be with her, chances are that's a good start.

From what I've observed and witnessed firsthand, if a couple is interested they will let you know.

 

I understand you feel the group responded that way first. I am not going to get into a but he/she said this first, blah blah blah.

Fact is and like it or not. You need or want them more than they need or want you. So you need to take a less defensive stance and be more friendly.

Agree on mutual respect but again. They are letting you into their bedroom and they have a much greater pool to choose from. Your level of respect needs to be greater.

 

I get it, maybe people took it as a creepy question but that wasn't the intention.
If it had been in person I am sure people would not have taken it as creepy. Always problem with forums is you don't know the persons tone.

 

Yaawwwnnnn......:deadhorse:

 

It is ALWAYS wise to get permission from the husband before anything gets initiated IMHO.

Melissa

 

Completely agree. Nice to see the decent people on this site responding in a constructive way

 

Probably a good idea unless you want to end up like the horse on Guido and Blondie's post!!! :doh:

T

 

Try this:

"Dude, I totally forgot to bring my wife. Mind if I borrow yours for a while?"