Considering A First Time Trip, Had A Few Questioms

Discussion in 'Desire Resort Forum' started by OppositesAttract, Feb 7, 2020.

  1. OppositesAttract

    OppositesAttract Newbie Registered Member

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    My wife and I (both 27) have been considering a trip to DRM recently. We are not in the LS but have greatly enjoyed sharing fantasies related to swinging/orgies, but we also recognize that the real thing would be extremely different than a shared fantasy so We’re really trying to get an idea of what to expect. At a minimum we would be excited for the opportunity to go nude and likely engage in some PDS at the jacuzzi, and depending on who we meet/if there’s a connection we’d definitely be up for monogamous sex in the same room/bed with another couple.

    A few questions we’ve had:
    Is there etiquette around what to do as a guy who gets “excited” when hanging out in the pool/chatting with others? Is it polite to excise yourself or is it common enough that nobody cares?
    Is there an orientation for first timers to help them know the rules/etiquette for the resort, pool, hot tub, play rooms, etc?
    Are there group ice breakers for first timers to help ease them in/get comfortable with public sex?
    Are condoms provided in play rooms in case we do decide to go further with another couple that we make a connection with?
    Does the resort request any sort of STD screening prior to booking (we are both clean).

    Thanks to anyone who takes the time to respond!
     
  2. Cokewithlime

    Cokewithlime Guru Registered Member

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    The first thing you should realize is that both Desire properties are not like a Lifestyle club. They are couples only resorts that are clothing optional in many areas and are Lifestyle "friendly". The second thing and most important in you having a great time, is to just go without expectations other than you and your SO are going to have a great and sexy vacation together.

    No one really cares, but it's also very rare for guys to get excited when hanging out in the pool/chatting with others - lol

    Nope, just basic common sense - the ladies are always in charge, No means NO, politeness, respect and communication are your tools for happiness.

    No, the Desire properties are not a Lifestyle club - BYOC

    No, the Desire properties are not a Lifestyle club - that is between yourselves and other guests
     
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  3. OppositesAttract

    OppositesAttract Newbie Registered Member

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    Thanks for the response! This is all very new so we appreciate the context.
     
  4. SharonTerry

    SharonTerry Guru Registered Member

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    I think that it's safe to say that before a first trip to this type of resort things are over thought and are a much bigger deal in your head than they are once you get there, especially if you have no hang ups on nudity or seeing other people and their PDAs. If you are ok with that you'll have great vacation. No pressure and no always means no. Enjoy the play room! That might be a great way for you to start fulfilling your own fantasies with being around others while just you two enjoy each other.
     
  5. OppositesAttract

    OppositesAttract Newbie Registered Member

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    Great advice, thanks! I’m sure we are definitely over thinking things but we’re excited to experience something completely new. We’ve definitely talked about taking slow steps and just enjoy each other by the jacuzzi/play rooms and we couldn’t be more excited!
     
  6. cnparda

    cnparda Addict Registered Member

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    My advice would be to book Temptation before the Desire properties to ease into a sexually charged atmosphere. Temptation will give you an opportunity to do things if you choose but it’s more of a party place. Just my suggestion.
     
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  7. lili&john

    lili&john Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Over thinking is also part of the way to share the fantasy together :)
    Open the conversation between you and your wife or gf.
    Always very exciting to talk about limits and see how different can be for each others... but also very exciting for you as a couple.
    Go, deeply in love and everything will be like a bonus for you and your fantasies.
    :)
     
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  8. Dixierose

    Dixierose Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Last year was our first time, and we cannot wait to go back this year!! I(Mrs) was so worked up and over anxious about the whole trip!! Once we got there we both had a blast. Just be sure that together y'all have discussed what is good and ok with both of y'all!! Neither of you will feel any pressure to do or be anything other than yourselves and what you are comfortable with! We went to Desire and Temptation on that trip and loved them both! You will meet amazing people at both and have a blast as long a you can handle naked people and a very sexually charged environment! First time, yes someone from the resort will sit down with you and let you know the general rules of what is "allowed" where!! And DON'T overthink the theme and outfits for the evenings! I was very guilty of this!! and let it kinda stress me out!! Some go all out others don't even know or care what it is supposed to be!
     
  9. Stacia_and_John

    Stacia_and_John T&A Tour Guide Registered Member

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    Q: "Is there etiquette around what to do as a guy who gets “excited” when hanging out in the pool/chatting with others? Is it polite to excise yourself or is it common enough that nobody cares?"

    A: You'll probably be surprised by this, but I would doubt that, unless your lady is, or someone else is, intentionally trying to get you going, you may not have any problems like that at all. You may not want to stand in line to get drinks if it's actively happening, however.

    Q: "Is there an orientation for first timers to help them know the rules/etiquette for the resort, pool, hot tub, play rooms, etc?"

    A: No... but people are generally very friendly and a conversation can start easily enough. Just be open & friendly and let the people know it Is your first time and don't know what to expect -- and if necessary (you'll know) let them know what the two of your own "ground rules" are. It'll be respected.

    Q: "Are there group ice breakers for first timers to help ease them in/get comfortable with public sex?"

    A: That's called the Pool... or the beach... or the beach bar... or the bar next to the hot tub. Just start a conversation with a fun seeming couple and/or group and things will work out. Seems counter-intuitive, I know.

    Q: "Are condoms provided in play rooms in case we do decide to go further with another couple that we make a connection with?"

    A: I don't think so... but I honestly can't remember.

    Q: "Does the resort request any sort of STD screening prior to booking (we are both clean)."

    A: No.
     
  10. Cheers2US

    Cheers2US Guru Registered Member

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    @OppositesAttract

    There isn't an orientation per se, but when you check in, they will give you a lot of the basics, which should help: No means no, no photography, no drugs, be respectful, that sex is OK in playrooms and jacuzzi area (but many people do it at the pool and beach).. etc. You can certainly ask questions.

    My husband and I are not in the lifestyle either, but we've had such wonderful times in Desire (both resorts) Guests are super friendly and no one makes anyone else feel uncomfortable. You can have great conversations (this is weird coming from me, a total introvert) with other guests and in doing so, you test the waters. If they are into swinging, swapping, exhibitionism, voyeurism, it will probably come out in conversation. So you can delve as much or as little as you like. No one will outright come up to you and ask for sex.

    A great way to test your comfort zone is to head up to the jacuzzi area at night. So for me, a very shy, modest creature, it was a bit of a shock on our first visit entering the jacuzzi area and seeing about 6 or 7 beds full of naked bodies, many having sex/group sex. The beds are not too close to each other so you can watch if you'd like and it wouldn't be too creepy. You can also watch from inside the jacuzzi itself. It's not obscene or vulgar or anything like that.

    Oh yeah, you can totally do that there. It's a great resort. Can't wait to go back.

    Also check the Desire forums - the link is in Wayne's (CokewithLime) bio
     
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