April 2011 roll call...hahaha!!!!!

This is gold. Hope you get a laugh.
When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy.....it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart..

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey..' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.......but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


All right Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!

 

Should children witness childbirth? Good question. Here is one response

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again!'

If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you















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Who's everyone go thru for booking?
Here's the latest I got (duplicate of last year but for next year) and also $500.00 higher.
Will keep checking but it's not looking good right now! :icon_cry:


This is thru Sams Club (part of Walmart) and the cheapest that I've found so far.

 

Geez, you guys pay for your trips? Our Health Plan covers ours....

 

OH MY GOD... LMFAO.... you really try and get shit going... way to funny...... people in my office are wonder what the F___ I'm laughing so much... Oh good one brewster... stir the pot...

 

Maybe I should have said that it's just Albertan's that get our trips covered. The cost is covered in part by our Health Care Plan but the rest is picked up by Provincial oil and gas royalties.....

Get the rest of our country stirred up too...lol

 

That was a serious question Brewster - We can all play and joke around but this wasn't the time as far as I'm concerned!

 

Then your on the wrong thread..this is the April 2011 Roll call ha ha ha ha thread ... isn't...

 

Oops....sorry. My censor button sometimes doesn't work very well. No offense intended.

I'm thinking it's best I stay clear of Cancuncare in the future.