I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, got a shave, and got your hair cut, you'd look pretty good." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to one of your friends over there." I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience. "Come on, what day was I born"? I said, "Yesterday."
