Oy vey. I've dreaded actually having to write this trip report because then I would have to admit to myself that it is indeed finally over. I keep expecting my shower to flow down from the ceiling like a warm rain instead of coming back to just a regular showehead. I'm always amazed that every year seems to actually top the one before and I'm already counting down the days until I can return home. I remember 4 years ago there were only a few of us and now that has blossomed into a full blown cornocopia of awesome people that I can't wait to see and the numbers seem to explode more and more every year. My room was pretty good. I got a king room #2008 on the second floor corner overlooking Patty O's with the balcony overlooking the Tex-Mex. (Sorry to everyone who was trying to have lunch when I was throwing my trunks bareassed on the balcony) The food like normal was pretty good. Big shout out to Sue for organizing the dinners. I got to take advantage of every specialty resturaunt at least twice. By the end of the trip though I pretty much stuck to just the buffett or Patty O's offering as my stomache just couldn't take anymore big meals. The Italian and Seafood were really good and the Asian like last year was the standout. I actually didn't mind the entertainment staff. I think it's unfortunate that they are constantly going to get compared to Chinos which is unfair because it's apples and oranges. Brenda, Sarah, Dani and Jose look to be finding their groove and trying to make it their own. The were funny and engaging and nice to talk to away from just doing the games. That being said however there was alot less participation that I've noticed from previous years. When previously the front of the sexy pool would be filled to capacity for the competitions this year their was just sparse people around or just our group who were already in the pool. For a 2 and half week trip theirs no way I could do a day by day lay out. (actually tried to keep a journal but that crap ended by day 3, I checked it out and it looked like I had a seizure while writing it. Something about socking it and I gave up trying to figure out what I meant) My first couple of days were pretty hardcore just trying to soak everything up again. Alot of the repeaters came in the first couple of days and we had alot of fun picking up right where we left off. Within a couple of hours of coming in I had Travis, Lorenzo and I signed up for a beer drinking contest which we lost (in our defense beer stands were involved and Lorenzo has a a dodgy knee) and we had to run around the pool naked. (Wasn't just me for once!) That pretty much set the tone for the whole trip. As far as the resort theme nights go the first Lingerie night was alot of fun but since nobody had really shown up yet I clung to Darrell and Ally because I didn't want to be the guy standing by himself in a sock. Too bad it started raining late and night and the sock got heavy while we were dancing (Took 3 minutes to realize the sock had fallen off). Once everyone got there the other 2 Lingerie nights that I were there for felt alot more fun and looser since we had alot bigger crowd to mingle with. Everyone just dressed up and had a great time and by the 3rd one I think some of us were only in nice shoes for a little bit and went to Patty O's an hour early. (You know your partying too much when 6 of you are at Patty O's dressed in Lingerie yawning like it's nothing, we perked up after the Jaggerbombs and the DJ started though) The zoot suit that I got for the white night was a pretty good success. I have to admit it looked pretty pimp but I did have to improvise with just the vest once it got to hot and humid out. A fun game was everyone saying what they thought I looked like. (Colonal Sanders, Mark Twain, Scarface, Johnny Depps bigger stunt double...) Once Sue showed up alot of our own theme nights that we had set up became either the highlight or bane of the other people at the resort who had never heard of the forum. Everyone looked great for the school night and once again my graduation gown got mistaken for a gospel singer again so I think I have to come up with something else for next year. Dress to impress was a good idea that I think might catch on next year if we don't try some the other ideas that we didn't get to do this year. The ideas that people came up with for the Kinky/Fetish night were great and I really wish that I was feeling better that night so I could have stayed out later than 11 (though I'm sure alot of people weren't sad to see a dude wearing mesh and a silver dong thong call it an early night) My favorite by far from our ideas was the XMAS party theme. We had alot of great outfits for both of them and probably the one that had the most participants which is great just to see a red mob of people in santa hats. I'm a night worker anyway and I was trying to keep a sembalence of my normal schedule so I usually didn't hit the sexy pool till noon at the earliest most days. A blast was still had every day even the days that were kind of cold and windy. The heated pool worked great the first couple of days and then didn't work for three and you had to power drink to warm up quick some of the days. Travis was again the man this year with bringing the beer pong table. It's always been such a great ice breaker and this year was no exception. We went on a tear for a week or so kicking ass to all challengers but unfortunatly lost yet again when it counted for the international beer pong contest to Lorenzo and Karen. (Sorry Guy, you got replaced by a girl and she's alot better!) It our defense though it was cold and windy which are perfect Canadian conditions and us lower 48er's were just huddling for warmth waiting for it to end. I once again brought home the Mr. Temptation crown for the 2 weeks I was there and I think I'm still sore from all the splits I did. We learned never to dare a Scotsman to do something due to the contest. Poor Neil worried the hell out of us when we dared him to do the Mr. Temptation contest. We gave him a couple of shots of tequila which then turned into glasses that were half full of the stuff. By the end of contest he had to be wheelchaired to the room and we thought he had alcohol poisining. True to his nature though he was back at the pool 45 minutes later challenging some poor guy to a beer drinking contest. More people may have a better recollection of the pool though since I was usually only there 3 or 4 hours before going back to take a nap to get ready for the night time activities. Patty O's again this year was the main place to be. I have many fond memories (or at least video evidence for the 2/3's I forgot) Of everyone just joking around, dancing having a great time. The DJ's kept things lively and the live band were usually pretty good at picking the tunes that get people singing along. They did the fire show again this year which was a neat sight to see but I kept getting worried one time with the silver schlong since he kept getting pretty close and I knew that thing would go up like a christmas tree in . Lisa still made me go chase after him with her just so she could get her picture with him. Some of the best nights were the nights that we just brought out a bottle of Crown, Jaggermeister, Tequila or Marlene's birthday Jello shots and just do it up. Just like home their's nothing better than sharing a bottle with good friends. I did kind of overdo it a couple of nights my first week and didn't go to bed till daylight hit or my kindle died. Johhny the last call bartender was a trooper though and always kepts the drinks flowing. Gabrielle, Pedro and our waitress Raquel were all top notch and professional and always had a drink ready by the time I got to the bar or turned around. I was usually one of the later people to go to bed especially since Crista made it a point to know that we were in competition since I said last year Guy and I always shut it down and she didn't remember it that way. Alot of nights it was just her, Coree and I constantly looking at each other going "Go to F#$king bed!" She didn't win them all but she did outdo me more nights than not even though she wasn't putting down near the volume of drinks we were. It wouldn't be a complete trip to Temptations without going on one of Steve's famous Boobs cruises. Steve, Jannet, Chinos, Omar and Lalo and all of the Neptune crew were and always will be the best in the business and know how to cater to any crowd like ours. I was fortunate enough to be able to go on two of them this trip and every second was a sqeezed in with fun. We had beautiful weather for the first one and the second once was far better the weather we had last year. The threw me a sumo thong for one of them and Long Dong Silver and the Candy Cane thong both made appearances and even Craig got in on the fun. I was a little worried about the second cruise because Steve's mom was on it and I didn't want to offend her with my stupid antics but she was a blast to hang our with and even joked around with me that I should learn my native mexican languange. (I had to explain that I grew up in upstate New York and the closest Mexican was 200 miles away) The buffet was good (fish is still enough to give someone wet dreams thinking about it) and the stop off at the stinky bar was good but the best part was always the ride home when the fun really started. The adult games they had set up and the whip cream were always for a good time. I love the resort, the staff are top notch and keep everything clean and welcoming. The maids are absolutley phenominal and the food is pretty darn tasty (We were joking around though that we might actually hate the burgers if we ever had to have one sober, luckily we'll never have to find out) but as always it's the people you meet and return to see that absolutely make the place. With everyone that I've met throughout the years I would spend 2 weeks hanging out in a Chuck E. Cheese parking lot since I know you guys can make any place fun. Everyone is different but adds theirs own spice to the mix which is why I love this melting pot group. Everyone is so truly exepting and makes everyone fell comfortable and we always take care of our own. I love you guys dearly and you are some the best people that I have ever had the fortune of knowing and I can't wait to do so for years to come. Alright, enought of the sentimental stuff, some of my more favorite moments or just some of the ones that stick out at the moment or pop into my head: Lorenzo breaking out that sweeeeeet nurses outfit (sorry for burning the boob) Travis and Crista going old school with the dancing moves and Travis still know the words to every hip hop song known to man Karen sinking 8 out of the 10 cups in beer pong showing Lorenzo who the boss was (us too for that matter since she kicked our asses) Getting tricked and getting my toenails painted by the entertainment staff (their still red by the way!) Sue setting up our huge Italian dinner night, it was great getting to hang out with everyone all together Craig and I thonging it on the mast of the Boobs Cruise Neil and I convincing Coree to shave his head (what can I say, the boy can pull it off!) Dinner on the beach was a really nice meal Pool Show is a nice new edition, just need to heat it if they want people in Darrell trying to convice Justin to steal a boat (after he promised not too after last year!) Ed waking up in the middle of the night and still coming down to the bar to drink till morning Brenda still makes buffetts close early People who weren't on the forum asking me which hat or costume I was going to wear for that night started to get pretty funny. Nobody knows you my ass... Claudio's ACDC costume Tao teaching me a couple of unarmed combat move pressure points (hope I remember some of them) Poor Rene always looking like he had been drinking because his face got so red Travis and I going to the hooters for the Kentucky/North Carolina came in the middle of a 36 hour drink fess. ("We have to keep drinking before the hangover kicks in!") Running around naked because I ripped my damn shorts in the Mr. Temptation contest and taking 5 minutes to get them on (longest 5 minutes of my life) We met this nice couple who's girlfriend would change every 30 minutes so everytime she did I dared Neil to change into my outfits. It was hilarious and they were good sports about it. Justin breaking out the glow sticks and getting an improptu rave going teaching everyone how to do that voodoo that he do so well Almost giving myself a black eye trying to use Angela's swinging balance balls on the beach at 3 in the morning Doing yoga with Mindi wearing a glorified diaper on the Boobs Cruise The Scotish brother and sister and his out there games of Yabba....Dabba...Doo and him always losing even though it was his own game. That girl never lost a drinking game though. Ed's win of the beer drinking contest. I'm never going to hear "I am a real American" the same now... Our ahem....Christmas photo on the beach. Poor kids are scarred for life. Lynn winning the balloon popping contest Lorenzo and I winning the other one Francis kicking my ass in a shot drinking contest. She slept all the next day and I still made it to the pool so I consider it a draw. Wow, who knew? I type almost as much as I talk. I'm sure alot more will come back to me as the weeks go by. I want to say a special thank you to Claudio, Craig, Rene, Wayne, Kathy and Sharkies for the wonderful gifts. The bubba keg was great and I liked being able to say I only had 2 drinks as I swayed back to my room. Thanks also for shirts (even though I'll probably get my ass kicked for the nuggets one) I also wanted to say how nice it was for everyone to meet those of us leaving at the lobby. It truly made it that much harder to go and making the anticipation that much more to come back. See you all next year Chaos Crew! Prost!
Great trip report, buddy. I left out an important part in my TR that you mentioned. Brenda has come a LONG, LONG way in the 2 years when we first saw her. I thought she did a great job. I was expecting the worst from the entertainment crew but was pleasantly surprised. Dani and Sara were tough on the ears but lots of fun. Okay, you can start the countdown now:icon_razz:
you make the party rock the cock socks were great but you trying to get your shorts back on was a hoot - we yelled our asses off for you to win
Zurc, Great TR buddy. We hate that we missed you this year, sounds like you all had a great trip. We have been waiting to hear your TR as we all know that somethings have changed at the place we call home away from home. Hope you have a safe and Happy Holiday!!! Steve and Kelly
Great to meet you, and hope to run into you again somewhere. You are definitely one of the few people I have ever met that apologizes in advance for what you might do in the future
so glad that you did a tr. makes me wish we had gone with you guys!!! i will be experiencing the april group this year!! i hope i survive!! i guess before long we will just have to move there so we get to meet everyone. glad you had a great vac. hopefully pics. will be forethcoming!!!
I don't think anyone can do Temptation better than you can, you are a living legend, great trip report!
