We just landed back in Texas after our first trip to Temptation Cancun. Whew! What a trip! Like a lot of folks, we feel some sort of compunction to review our journey at Temptation from mild to wild! Here is the (rather long) story of one simple couples’ quest to see some boobs, show some boobs, blow off some steam and MAYBE have a little sex in a tropical paradise. (For those of you still there that might be reading this, I think you might be able to guess the star of this show) Monday --- The Arrival It had just rained and the place was pretty quiet. We got roped into signing up for the time share sales pitch (Otherwise known as Mistake #1) and headed to Margaritas for a quick bite. Then, over to the pool to get a feel for the place…and maybe see some boobs. The pool activities were done for the day so we didn’t really see much. There were only a few people still at the pool and ever fewer boobs. The wife contemplated showing boobs but decided to hold off for at least another day. We had a few more drinks at the place with the ping pong tables, La Alternative, and then ate at the seafood restaurant. The food was decent but not awesome for sure. We really wanted to eat at the Asian restaurant but couldn’t get in without a reservation even on a slow night. We thought about heading into town with the cast for Coco Bongo but were beat and just hit the rack instead. We even had the typical conversation that every husband/wife team has before bed. “You up for sex? “ “Not really.” “Me neither.” “OK.” This is known as missed opportunity for sex #1 So far, so dull. On a side note, we had an ocean view room but it was in the 2300 building which is right next to Paty O’s. You should only stay in those rooms if you plan to party hard at Paty O’s because you can hear EVERYTHING. THE DJ goes til about 1:00 and then people linger around for a LONG time. It is not designed for restful sleep. Tuesday --- Warming up Man, they must have a LOT of people skip the time share presentation because they called us FOUR times to wake us up. Ugghh… Anyway, we had breakfast with the sales lady and got the whole pitch. We’ve been thru one other time share presentation so we knew what to expect. It wasn’t so bad other than that it dragged on for two hours. When you start seeing other people having fun in the sun, you tend to get antsy. Once they knew we were definitely not interested, they let us go without too much hassle. We got a private label bottle of Tequila that looked like a hangover/Montezuma’s Revenge combination in a bottle that we were so scared to drink we ended up leaving it in the room when we checked out! We also abandoned our two Temptations mugs as we weren’t sure when we’d ever use two mugs that scream “Potential Swinger Here!” We’ll concur with everyone else on this board, pass on the time share prezo. Tuesday was our first real experience with pool and all the activities. I played sports trivia. Wife did the splash aerobics and the scavenger hunt. The scavenger hunt was fairly entertaining. The list was about 20 items long. Included among them were sunscreen, sunglasses, the woman at the pool with the biggest hooters and a dildo! Whoops! Now we know we’re at Temptation! For lunch, there was a BBQ by the pool where the food was pretty good! Chicken, sausage and burgers. The afternoon activity was USA vs. The World in Woman’s arm wrestling. Chinos really started getting into it and he was very funny! We started chatting with one of the USA contestants and she and my wife started to hit it off. I looked away for a bit to chat with her husband and when I looked back, there they were…two giggling ladies and four boobs staring right at me! I guess wife can now check that item off the bucket list! The boobs stayed mainly below the surface but it was at least a start! We figured out pretty quickly that the pool slows down after most of the activities are over (at least it did this week), so we headed to the room for a much needed nap. We had dinner that night at the Italian restaurant which was really good. Then we headed over to Karaoke before going to Paty O’s to listen to the live band. The party Tuesday night was actually quite tame. Shockingly and maybe even disappointingly so. At one point in the evening, my drunken wife actually blurted out, “This has to be the lamest swingers’ party ever!” The band was pretty good though so we just drank even more and soaked everything in. About the drinking…it is kind of hard to explain. You never really get a full, stiff drink like you would in a real bar or restaurant. Therefore, you end up going to the bar a LOT…and eventually you lose track of how many you’ve had. The end result for us was that, while it took longer, we tended to get more drunk than normal. Plus, you’re in Mexico w/o responsibilities so what the heck. And when you’re drunk in Mexico, you try to make the most of it even if you are at “The Lamest Swingers’ Party Ever” so we grabbed two cheeseburgers (not very good) they serve around midnight and head to the beach. It is absolutely dead so wife decides it might be a good time to take a dip in the ocean. Off comes her dress and before you know it, she’s strolling butt naked into the Atlantic. Another bucket list item! And I haven’t even put the mustard on my burger! (It is also Mistake #2) She’s actually pretty loaded (and I’m not exactly sober) so I decide to stay dressed and keep an eye on her. This attracts the attention of two security guards who pretty quickly who decide they don’t like drunk American women swimming naked in their ocean. So out she comes…dripping wet and butt naked. The training regimen for these security guards must be pretty intense as all they can do is repeatedly tell me, “No Sex” in broken English. I had no idea at the time that they were actually the 2nd and 3rd coming of Nostradamus and had the ability to predict the future. I then get the distinct pleasure of trying to dress my wife back into a red, super-tight, Vegas-style night club dress while they watch us with their flashlights. (This is known as Goofy moment #1) We head up to the room for what should be some serious boot knocking, right? Wrong. When you get woken up at 8:00 am for a time share prezo and then spend all day in the sun drinking and the night swimming naked in the ocean, you tend to get sleepy. (This is known as Missed Opportunity for Sex #2) Wednesday Morning --- Making progress I wake up early Wednesday morning. (I didn’t sleep that well the whole time as I was trying to get adjusted to the humidity). I have now been in Cancun for 36 hours and have had ZERO sex. I conclude that this HAS TO STOP. So I send wife down to the breakfast buffet to order some drinks. Jorge actually has the nerve to tell her it is too early for alcohol! But I’m in Mexico and I haven’t had sex. Give me some damn watered down drinks in small glasses! Whew… Drinks in the room at 8 am actually turn into drinks and breakfast in the restaurant. After all, we never even got to take one bite of our burgers! While in the restaurant, we overhear two couples talking and they say something like, “I thought it would be awkward seeing you this morning after everything we did last night but it doesn’t feel awkward at all.” Now, we’re talking! At least someone is having sex in Cancun. But not me. Wife decides she wants to lay by the pool and get some rays and have a few more cocktails before we have sex. Fine. Whatever. But I decide that if I’m not having sex, I want to at least see boobs…and if there aren’t other boobs, then I’m seeing my wife’s boobs…ABOVE water. In other words, she has to OWN IT. She says, “Deal.” Off to the pool we go. Wednesday Afternoon --- Owning the boobs Things start to hum a little bit on Wednesday afternoon. Some really cute gals show up at the pool (It must be their first day though because they seem to be on my wife’s same boob showing schedule). Also, a really cool couple arrives and hangs out with us. I get along with him and his wife is a KNOCKOUT. Wow. A side bonus is that they are time share members. The sales lady wasn’t BS’ing us that members get preferential treatment because this couple is getting service from different waiters and they are getting full-size, stiff drinks. Awesome. Meanwhile, the drinks are starting to kick in and wife is living up to her word to own the topless situation. She looks good and her boobs are even starting to burn. Nice! The afternoon pool activities are fun and we watch the Miss Temptation contest that includes a fake orgasm contest. Not too shabby. The winner is really cute and shows some boobs. I’m happier. It is now around 4:30 pm and the pool is winding down again. Boobs are becoming more scarce so we head up to the room. Time for sex, right? Wrong. Wife’s boobs and back are burned and she’s sleepy from drinking since 8:00 am. Time for a nap. (Missed opportunity for sex #3) Wednesday Evening --- Now we’re talking! We take a SUPER long nap (Remember, we’re resting up for this rock-star sex session!) and then get dressed for dinner. The plan is for dinner and an excursion into town. Wife gets dolled up in her sexy pink dress and off we go to the seafood restaurant. We finish up dinner just in time for the excursion to depart at 10:45 pm. We’re still not sure how we screwed this up but we had somehow failed to prepay and sign up and the cast member was NOT helpful. Oh well, we guess we’ll head back into Paty O’s and watch The Lamest Swingers’ Party Ever, Part 2. Or not…Yikes. First of all, wife decides she is going to make her own fun dammit and just starts dancing with nearly anyone and everyone. Guys, girls, young, old, fat, skinny…you name it. Eventually, this leads to some seriously DIRTY dancing. Seriously. At one point, she is in a congo line with three other women and they are all WORKING it. (This is I Love Mexico! moment #1). Then, one of the girls puts a shot between my wife’s boobs and gets on her knees and drinks it! (I love Mexico moment #2!) Then she puts a shot between my wife’s legs and makes me get on my knees and drink it (I love Mexico moment #3!) This HARD CORE dirty dancing went on until the music ended around 1 am. Whew! I have now seen some sexy things that I didn’t think I’d ever see my wife do! Time for that great sex to top off the evening! Or not… Evidently, dancing dirty for two hours and pouring shots out of your boobs into other girls’ mouths can really tucker a girl out. Off to Sleep. (Missed opportunity for sex #4) Thursday Morning --- The Cruise Our last full day in Mexico as we are flying out at noon on Friday. I have now been in Mexico for three freakin’ days and still haven’t had sex…or left the resort. We knew we were going to miss the boobs’ cruise on Friday so I booked a different cruise via Albatross for Thursday. It seemed like a good idea at the time but not so much on Thursday morning when my head was pounding and I was beginning to feel the effects of three days of hard core drinking. Nonetheless, we drag ourselves out of bed and head to the cruise. I’m sure the boobs cruises are much better but this wasn’t bad. They had unlimited drinks and the crew tried pretty hard to get people to loosen up and have a good time. Wife cruised around Isla Mujeres in her skimpiest bikini which was pretty cool. We found a neat bar on the beach and ordered some tequila shots and food. It was actually nice to be away from the resort for a change. The return trip was a lot of fun as we met two cute couples staying at another resort. When they found out we were at Temptation, their eyes got HUGE and they started asking a zillion questions. The husbands were especially intrigued! I didn’t tell them that the only drawback was that even though the place is sexy, you never actually have sex! The music was good though, the Tequila shots kicked in and the gals were putting on quite a show (although not like Wednesday night) so it was worthwhile. Thursday Afternoon --- Boobs but running on fumes The cruise ships return you right by the Temptation pool. We weren’t going to get in but we recognized a lot of people from the day before and there were boobs everywhere! We get in for about 30 minutes but decide we have to get some sleep for the lingerie Party that night. We get to the room and even I am too tired for sex (missed opportunity for sex #5) Thursday Night --- The lingerie Party I’ll admit that I was pumped for the lingerie Party. Really pumped. When I watched wife getting dressed, I was like, “This is going to be awesome!” Still, you could see some trepidation on her part as she put on her pink and black corset, barely there panties and fishnet stockings. Even after the wild night before, you could feel that this was going to take things to a new level. It was even strange for me cruising around in nothing but boxers while holding my wife’s hand. We had to cross the Patty O’s courtyard to get to the party. While most people go to the lingerie party, not everyone does so some folks are dressed completely normal as you pass them. It is kind of weird to have 50 people checking you out (or at least checking out the person standing next to you) Just like with the boobs, I told wife she needed to “own it” to have fun. And boy did she! The party was chock full of hot gals in lingerie and bare chested dudes in boxers. People were playing casino games and the cast held a lingerie contest. It was quite a scene. (I love Mexico! Moment #4) Wife entered the contest and made the final four! She then sadly got cold feet and dropped out of the finals because she didn’t think she could work the stripper pole. Arghhh. (On a side note, they only let 10 women in the contest. They really should let EVERY woman participate as this is one of the real highlights of the resort and the women clearly go all out for it. They also kind of rush the contest. I thought this could have been handled much better) Then back to Patty O’s for another night of bumping and grinding…only this time in lingerie! Woohoo! More DIRTY dancing! (I love Mexico! moment #5) There was actually another bucket list item in there for my wife but as they say, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell J (I love Mexico! Moment #6) Around midnight, wife needs to go to the bathroom so she heads up to our room. She is ready to hit the dance floor again when I PLEAD for at least a little sex. My flight LEAVES Mexico in 12 hours and I still haven’t had sex. She reluctantly agrees and I get the kind of sex that is just a taste of what I’ll hopefully get later but it really just frustrates me more. After about 5 minutes, she is quite antsy to go dancing and she hops up and starts to head out the door. Now, I have a decision to make…and it is a tough one. I really haven’t had REAL sex the whole time in Mexico but I still would like to. If I don’t remind my wife of one small thing, I might NEVER have sex again. “Honey? “Yes.” “Forgetting anything?” “Like what?” “Like, YOUR panties!” Oopsie. I think she would looked great in nothing but a corset and black fishnet stockings but I just couldn’t allow her to do it…this time. She puts on her panties and we head back down to the dance floor until the music stops. This time, I think ahead and spend $10 on two red bulls. When the music ends, we head to the room and have sex while staring out the window and looking at the ocean. And it is FANTASTIC! See you next year!
AWESOME, my husband could so have typed that entire report. I will work on my missed opportunities when we got in 9 days. thanks for sharing
Awesome review! Post this on trip advisor and see what people have to say! LOL Can't wait to go in October now... but with hopefully a little more sex!
LMAO 1st trip is this October...and I've been reading SOOOOO many threads...but this by-far is the best trip report I've read yet!
