Hey everyone. I've got a slight gripe. Little. Miniscule. Ready? Read on... Two years ago (April 30-May ? 2012) my (Tony) brand new bride (Mary) and I were gifted our honeymoon to Temptation. I did the research, posted a few lines on the forum. All good. Got the heads up about what to expect, and got told "Nobody knows you and nobody gives a shit". There was a lot to be given a shit about too. My wife was very overweight. There were a few moments where she felt accepted, but a majority of the time she was VERY self conscious and always felt like there was someone snickering at her. There was even a night at Patyos where a couple of younger slim dudes ask her to do a body shot off her and she kinda felt like they were making fun of her. No biggie, she's a strong woman, and put them in their place all on her own. Good thing too. I may have been over served. Nobody knew us...and although we did recognize a few people from the board, we kept to ourselves the entire week for the most part. No biggie....we're on our honeymoon. Right? So here comes the now what. Mary had weight loss surgery about 18 months ago, has lost over a hundred pounds, and feels wonderful. We've booked the trip down for April 28-May 5. Although the last year has been great for her confidence, I'm afraid a repeat of the way the honeymoon went might screw with her head a little. Granted, we had fun, but it would have been funner with a group to hang with or something. So this is where YOU come in. If you're there and recognize us, please say hi to us. We're fun to party with, but I'm (Tony) very shy and kind of socially awkward and I don't know what to expect from her this time around. She reads this too, but I wrote it. Her self consciousness damn near ruined the whole trip last time, and she said she'll be damned if she lets it happen again. Sorry about the novel folks. Just venting. Tony (and Mary)
I am sorry to hear Mary felt that way. She is very beautiful and should show her sexy curves off. After all if you got it flaunt it. Mary, your beautiful have a booty and boobs. I would say you have all the requirement needed for Temptations. heheh If we were going the same time as you ,we would say hello for sure. Don't let the world ,make you feel any less perfect then you already are. Much love to you both, Jenn and Felix
I have seen and know some ''large'' people people at TTR. They all seem to have a blast and a lot of fun. The ones that don't are the ones that seem to lack self confidence and feel the world is staring at them.(sound familiar) I believe TTR is not the problem , you guys just need to let loose and party. Once people see you are comfortable with yourself they will be comfortable with you . Go and have a good time, and stop looking over your shoulder. :lotsofmichaelfs:
You really have to take a who cares attitude. Don't just say it but mean it. It is about what you want to do not what others want. I used to really lack confidence and be concerned overmuch with what others thought. I now have the confidence to say I want to do that or I want to wear that and I do. For me confidence came from the realization that no one is perfect. I have had bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction. On our 1st visit to TTR I went topless and never had an issue. If anyone didn't like it they never said and, quite frankly, I didn't care. My husband has always told me that I am beautiful but that's doesn't matter if you don't believe it yourself. Now I can say that I am a beautiful, sexy woman and I believe it. Don't be too afraid of other peoples opinions to approach them. If you leave that all up to others you're going to miss out on meeting some really fabulous people!
Donald, I kind of figured someone would give me the "just let loose" line, all due respect. I don't think TTR is the problem. Its just opening up to people. Once we know people, batten down the hatches. We'll let loose. Kind of hard when you're still kind of new and not in anybodys circle of friends yet. As cool as this board is, from an outsiders perspective it could come off as a little "cliquish".
I have social anxiety. I'm overweight. We leaving for our first TTR in 13 sleeps. I have wanted to go to Temptation for YEARS. I always said "I'll go when I lose weight" or some other silly thing. Maybe I'm getting older or just coming into my self esteem. I have an amazing job and a wonderful husband who thinks I'm the sexiest thing in the world. I'm doing this trip to free myself, to leave behind the body image issues I've had. I love me. If my husband and make friends great...if we don't we will have a fantastic time together. I can see how the boards appear a little cliquish but these people welcome new friends into their groups every year! The party can be what you make it. I bought my first bikini for this trip....actually I'm bringing two bikini tops and seven bottoms! If people don't like what they see they can look away. My husband and I like what we see and we are going to have a blast! I hope you have a better second trip.
As much as it can seem 'cliquish" it isnt like high school... On CCC you just find the 'group' that is going the same time as you and insert yourself in the conversation. I have never seen anyone 'rejected' on these boards unless they were just a flat out a$$hole... No worries... LOL I have seem all sizes at TTR rockin a thong...It really is all on you to come with confidence, it doesnt have to be alot, and then it just flows with the vibe at TTR...
You'll be surprised that there is a lot of people who feel the way you do . Unfortunately we live in a society that people feel they have the right to criticize or judge other people cause they have a low self-esteem or jealous of other people. Myself have battle weight issue's since grade school. My body isn't perfect specially having 3kids I constantly ridicule myself trying to compare myself to the perfect picture everyone likes. Thank god my husband loves me for me and says I'm gorgeous in every way. So I say screw those ignorant people! And let's have a good time.:daveandmo:
I know exactly where you are coming from. This will be our third trip this year. The first year we stuck to ourselves, I am very shy as well (Jay) and need that first approach by others to get started. I have been working on this and am getting better. I too have struggled with weight my entire life and know that feeling. Our second trip I came out of my shell a little bit as did my wife (Jacquie). She actually participated in Lingerie night and I was shocked. We met some really great people last year and have even met up with a couple of them outside the resort for dinner and drinks. This year we are going to try and get a little more involved once again. We are lucky that we met so many great people last year and many of them are back at the same time this year. I think that is where the feeling of cliquishness (I know not a word, lol) comes from is that people make friends and start to meet up each year. From what we have found is most of those groups are all great people and are happy to meet more and let you in. We all have to realize that we are all great in our own ways. Forget what others think and have a blast. I know that is hard to do sometimes but try and push yourself outside your comfort limits. And yes I am going to try and take my own advice on our next trip in one week. Jay
