Day 1 (Wednesday) Our trip was from Wednesday the 30th of April to the 4th of May. We flew on Southwest out of Nashville with a layover at Midway in Chicago. Yes that is right. We flew north to go south. Go figure. Anyway it was not much of a layover as we went straight from one flight to the next with only about 5 minutes of waiting. The flights were uneventful. We landed in Cancun just after lunch. We have been in Cancun several times and knew to avoid the guys in the lobby and head straight outside. We stopped at the overpriced tourist trap bar just outside the door and grabbed a couple of drinks. Yes it is overpriced but fun to walk out of the airport, grab a drink and start the party. We used USA Transfers (pre-booked) and had to wait about 20-30 minutes for a van to show up. They were very nice and kept us informed about how much longer we would have to wait during the process. The van went straight to TTR with no additional stops along the way. We checked in at the front desk and requested a quiet room because I read that if you get a room around Patty-Os, you could expect to be up until it closed as they keep the music cranked up very late. I did the pre-check in on line, on TTR’s website and requested a quiet room. I am not sure if this pre-check in was helpful. The entire check in process took about 10 minutes. We were directed to the chairs in front of the registration desk for “information”. I elected to skip this and go straight to a restaurant as we were hungry. I guessed that the “information” would be the time share presentations. After talking with another couple who did attend the info session, it was information about the resort followed by the pitch. They said the info part lasted about 10 minutes and they did receive helpful information about the resort. They said they declined the sales pitch and was not pressured. Anyway we ate in the Tex-Mex restaurant. I had a pizza and a beer. The pizza was not very good but it did the job as I was quite hungry. We actually ate at this restaurant three times. I had a hamburger once, cheese pizza once and pepperoni pizza once. I did not care for the food at this restaurant. I thought it was quite bad. More on the resort food throughout the review. The beer is served in small hard plastic glasses similar to what you would see in a school cafeteria. I am not sure what kind of beer it is. Someone said it was Sol. It was cold and you could drink all you wanted to, so I was good to go. Some people took insulated mugs and they would fill them instead of the plastic cups. They also sell the insulated mugs in the gift shop. After we ate we went back to registration to grab our luggage. We were assisted by one of the staff who took the luggage to the room and showed us around the room. I wanted a king bed room but was told the only “quite” rooms they had were doubles. The size of the room was decent with a large bathroom. It had a sliding glass door that opened to a small patio with two chairs and table. The room was typical of what you would find at any low to mid-level motel in the states. Nothing special but adequate. The beds however were quite firm, more than I would have liked. The pillows on the beds were terrible. You have a choice of a regular sized pillow that is about as firm as a rock or a small ½ size pillow that is softer. I slept on the small one as did my wife. You might want to take your own if you are picky about these things. Anyway the bed was not good and I never really got what I would call restful sleep while I was there. The quite room turned out not to be as quite as we were about 20 feet from the main highway. Every morning the traffic picked up including busses and large trucks. One bus stop was directly outside our room. As you can imagine it got a little noisy. The room was always clean and the mini-fridge stocked with a couple cans of beer and a couple of cokes. All but one morning we had water as well. After we checked in to the room we roamed around the resort to get an idea of where everything was. The resort is not huge but it is confusing for the first day or so as the buildings don’t seem to be in any certain arrangement that makes sense. After a day or two you will pick up on it and be able to find everything fine. They have a main pool that is called the “sexy” pool. That is where most of the activities and party takes place. There is a swim up bar at the end of the pool as well as a regular bar on the pool side. The first morning we walked around the pool at 7:00 – 8:00 a.m. and found probably 80% of the seats already had towels or something on them and zero people were in the pool. I personally find this stuff ridiculous and would like to see the resort remove anything that’s left on the chairs and people not in the pool. It was obvious during our stay that people would reserve these chairs and hardly ever get in the pool or even lay out in the chairs. We take cruises once or twice a year and you see this kind of behavior. It is rude and pisses me off but that’s all I have to say about that. I don’t think we ever did find two chairs side by side but we did find at least a free one that we could put our stuff on WHILE WE WERE IN THE POOL. More on the sexy pool later. They also have two other pools that are calmer and less crowded. The beach is fairly small and does have some seaweed on it but it is adequate. They have lots of lounge chairs on the beach which thankfully were not all reserved. They also have some hammocks and beds located close by. We waded out to about waist level but never did go swimming off the beach. They have lifeguards on duty also. The restaurants are spread out around the resort and are pretty easy to find. They have restrooms all around the resort as well. So after taking the trip around the resort we hit the sexy pool. We weren’t in the pool for more than 15 minutes when we struck up a conversation with another couple. They were very friendly and we hung out with them off and on throughout our trip. One of my bucket list items was to see my wife go topless which she did within about 15 minutes of getting in the pool. I would say 90%+ of the women were topless. You will see all kinds of breasts from ones that look like they should be in Playboy to ones that are pierced and point to the ground. Ladies I would not worry about going topless because I promise no matter how yours look, there will be someone with ones that don’t look as good. The motto of the resort is basically nobody knows you and nobody gives a shit and that is pretty much true. You will see everything from people that probably compete in body building competitions to 80 year old grandmothers and grandfathers. All are having a good time. It is very laid back. Another bucket list item was to see my wife lick AIWC off another woman. Hey I am a guy cut me some slack. Anyway within about 15 minutes of meeting the other couple my wife and his wife went to get drinks at the swim up bar and came back grabbing each other’s breasts. We left the AIWC back in the room but at that point I guessed that I would get to see item #2 before we left the resort. I did, but more on that later. We stayed in the sexy pool until it closed. This is one of the things at the resort that confused me. The sexy pool closed at what seemed to be 6:00 p.m. or so the first couple of nights and then maybe a little later the last two. Why you would close down the main party location I don’t know. I would like to have had the pool open at least until 10:00 or so. We were told one of the three pools did stay open late but we didn’t get in that one. After the pool closed we went back to the room and cleaned up, got dressed and met the other couple at the seafood restaurant. I don’t like seafood so I ordered the Caribbean Chicken which was very good. My wife ordered the fish but she was not feeling well so we had to call it an early night. She worked a 24 hour shift the night before we left for the trip and was exhausted. That concluded our first day at the resort. The food at the Tex-Mex was not good but the seafood restaurant was very good. The sexy pool was fun but closed very early in my opinion. Day 2 (Thursday) We woke up at about 7:00 a.m. due to a combination of going to bed early the night before and the traffic 20 feet from out bed picking up. We got dressed and went to get some breakfast. We ate at the buffet. I did not care for the food here. I had some pancakes which were okay; some triangle shaped hash browns that were so hard I couldn’t eat them, some sausage links that were terrible and some fruit that was good. We ate breakfast at this buffet each morning and I never did care for it. Normally I am pretty easy to please when it comes to food. I would just as soon have a hamburger as a steak and I can usually find something I like but it was a challenge at this place. I started eating more fruit and yogurt because the food was bad. My wife on the other hand liked both the Tex-Mex and buffet. Just goes to show you how food opinions vary. We went back to the room and changed and hit the beach. My hair is very short so I put on a generous amount of SPF 50 sunscreen on my head but not the rest of my body. We laid in the lounge chairs by the beach for probably 30-40 minutes and then decided to go back to the room and get the sunscreen as it was sunny and we didn’t want to burn. We applied plenty and then went back to the beach. We hung out there making trips to the bar for about 2 hours. We then went to the sexy pool and spend most of the day there. We just hung out chatting with our friends from the first day, a new couple we met on Thursday and anyone else that we met. The pool is a very friendly environment and you shouldn’t have a hard time meeting people to talk to. Even though we applied and re-applied sunscreen throughout the day we still managed to get pretty sunburned. I suspect most of it came from the 30-40 minutes at the beach. Make sure and use sunscreen and reapply it often. We saw several people who really got burned. This day was pretty much a blur as we started drinking around 10:00 a.m. or so and spent the entire day doing so. I did space out my beer with a glass of water so I could hang. In a place like that you tend to drink more than you think you are. We turned in pretty early this night as well. Day 3 (Friday) We woke up at about 7:00 a.m. due to a combination of going to bed early the night before and the traffic 20 feet from out bed picking up. We got dressed and went to get some breakfast. We ate at the buffet. Sound familiar? After breakfast we decided to find some type of excursion to go on. My wife wanted to Parasail so we walked down the beach to a small shack that was selling types of excursions and booked one for the afternoon. We then decided to walk to downtown Cancun. We were told by one of the locals to walk out of the resort and turn right. We did and walked and walked and walked. It was several miles and by the time we arrived it was getting pretty hot outside. We turned left at the intersection when I believe we were supposed to turn right. We stopped at a little local restaurant and sit outside to drink some water (bottled) and rest. After that we walked down to a mall. I believe it was called Mall of the Americas or something similar to that. It was a large three story indoor and outdoor mall. It looked really nice. We decided to eat lunch at Hooters. Our waitress Ana from Columbia was very nice and spent quite a bit of time chatting with us. The food was typical Hooters and the beer cold. After that we took a taxi back to the motel. We were not about to walk back as we had our day’s exercise already with the walk in. We went on the Parasail adventure. The picked us up from the beach in front of TTR in a small boat and whisked us out to the Parasail boat. It was a little windy that day and we were bumped around some while in the Parasail but it was fun. My wife did get a little nauseated from it but that is typical for her. The entire thing from pickup to drop off back at the beach was less than an hour. The price was $60.00 per person. To be honest I don’t think it was worth the money but she has talked about Parasailing for several years so I wanted to take her. Now she can cross that off her bucket list. This is where day 3 gets a little fuzzy. I really can’t remember what the heck we did until we ate at the Italian restaurant. I had the lasagna and it was very good. We then worked our way over to Patty-Os. It was only about 6:00 or so by this time and it wasn’t really crowded. We drank for a while and then left for a bit. We came back about an hour later and it was filling up. We found a couple of seats at the bar and stayed at Patty-Os until about 1:00. When we first saw this place we laughed. It’s hard to describe well if you have never seen it. It’s basically an outdoor bar surrounded on all sides by motel buildings. It has lots of chairs around the bar and then chairs, tables and booths around that. What got me is that they are all white and red and look kind of goofy. We both determined it looked like something from a 70s porn set. The place filled up quickly and the party started when two very nice looking women started dancing on a stage at one end. The music came up and the party cranked up. There were tons of dancing and mingling. We finally called it a night around 1:00 and went back to the room. Very good atmosphere and had a lot of fun. Day 4 (Saturday) We had The Boobs Cruise scheduled for this day. The day before we talked it over and decided to skip it. When we first came to the resort we were pretty pumped up about it, but after getting pretty sunburned on Thursday and consuming enough beer for several people we decided we would just hang at the resort. The day started out pretty cloudy and it looked as if we would get some rain this day. Because it was cloudy we decided to head to the sexy pool after breakfast. We spent the entire day there and had a blast. I can’t imagine the cruise would have been any better. Between watching the crazy games the staff held around the pool to some of the crazy guests putting on shows of their own (the skinny white guy that stripped off and tucked his shit) to the beer drinking contest it was a really fun day. We decided to break out the AIWC so I could get that TTR bucket list item crossed off and within 30 minutes of getting it out, cans started appearing all around the pool. I guess someone just had to start and we did. Its draws a lot of attention when women start licking AIWC off each other’s breasts! We had people swimming up wondering what we were doing. Lots of people got involved and it was fun but never got out of hand. Speaking of that I really didn’t see anything out of hand at the resort. Yes I saw some completely naked people a few times and even got my wife completely naked in the sexy pool for maybe 5 minutes on Friday but I never saw any public sex or anything like that. I saw a couple of people being talked to sternly by security but I don’t know what they did. I saw a couple of people that looked like they drank way too much but that was about it. Everyone was respectful and had a good time. There were single guys there and several groups but I never saw any of the acting disrespectful, etc. One guy that was there I will have to mention because he made my day on several occasions. I am not trying to put him down or anything but I have to adequately describe him and I don’t think he would mind this description. He was probably in his late 60s – early 70s I would guess. He had long gray hair with a matching long gray beard (think Duck Dynasty). He was covered from head to toe in hair and I mean a lot of it. The first time I saw him he was wearing a man thong. He did a belly flop in the pool and of course everyone was cheering, etc. The second time I saw him he was coming in off the Boobs Cruise and had on a pirate’s hat and a thong and nothing else. He was once again the center of attention when he hit the pool doing a belly flop and getting a large round of applause. We actually sit beside them one morning for breakfast just before leaving the resort. He is from Canada and a very interesting individual. My hats off to him, he made the trip much more enjoyable. After leaving the sexy pool we went back to the room and cleaned up and then met the first couple we met and another couple they met at the seafood restaurant again. The meal was very good. We talked for quite some time and then left. Both couples were going to Patty-Os for drinks and dancing but we called it a night as we had to leave the next day and I was about partied out at this point in the trip. During our meal I noticed one couple had on the white with red lips swinger bracelets so this is a good point for me to talk about this aspect of the trip. My wife and I are not swingers and knew there would be a large group of them at the resort. I am not offended by swingers and neither is my wife and knew we could say no thanks if approached. The second couple we met, the ones we hung out with at Patty-Os, were swingers. They were nothing but respectful, never trying to get us to join in or anything like that. He told me that most swingers don’t advertise and after going to TTR I suspect that a large part of the people there are either swingers or swinger curious but it is not out in the open at all. If you are concerned about it, don’t be. Don’t even think twice about it. The second couple we ate with that night were swingers but they were the same as the first couple. We had a nice meal and conversation and nothing came up about it. If you are a swinger or swinger curious I have no doubt you can find whatever you are looking for at this resort. If you are not, like us, don’t worry. We turned in for the night. Day 5 (Sunday) Up early again because of the traffic and we had to meet the shuttle in the lobby at 9:45. We had breakfast one last time. This is the morning that we talked with the hairy pirate from Canada. The checkout process was very quick and we were loaded on the USA transfer van immediately. The drive was pleasant although it was raining like crazy this morning. If you have some type of lightweight rain jacket, take it with you. We had to run in the pouring down rain from our room to the lobby. Most of the way was not covered so we got soaked. We hit the airport, made it through customs, immigration, etc. pretty quickly and went to grab some lunch. We at Bubba Gump’s Shrimp Factory in the airport. It was good but a little pricey. Our flight back was with Southwest and went through Baltimore. We arrived back home about 11:00 p.m. Summary My wife and I travel quite a bit so we have some other experiences to compare this to. One of the first things I always ask myself after a trip is, would I go back. Typically I say no because we like to travel to different places and see new things. This place is a little harder for me to classify. I was not overly impressed with the food although the specialty restaurants were very good. The room was basic. The beds and pillows were bad. I never did get a good night’s rest. The resort was nice and for the most part it was well maintained although I did see some buildings that were in bad need of paint and some of the cushions on the outdoor chairs were pretty worn and dirty. The staff was excellent. They were very helpful and worked their butts off, especially the waiters at Patty-Os. Most of the staff that interacted with the guests seemed to enjoy their jobs. This place was described to me before I went as “spring break for adults”. I think that description is perfect. It’s one of those places that you have to see for yourself. No amount of trip reviews will fully describe what TTR is. It’s not just a resort. It’s the people and the atmosphere that make the place. I think you could take the staff, the guests and the atmosphere and transplant them to any resort in Cancun or the Caribbean for that matter and it would be just as much fun. I have never been to a place that is like TTR and I doubt I ever will unless I go back to TTR. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions about TTR. I will try to answer those. :icon_mrgreen::bootyshake::biggrinbandit:
Great TR....Thanks for sharing and thank you so much for your honesty. I agree that TTR is a very different vacation destination. I have traveled the Caribbean extensively. For me I feel in love with this place back when it was Blue Bay Getaway. I best define TTR as an 24 hr Adult Frat Party experience. As a repeater I feel honored to be part of very unique fraternity of people. My wife has not been yet but is looking forward to it. And yes I assured her that There Is No Place Like TTR. Cheers!! :lotsofmichaelfs:
