March 26th-April 2nd "te gusta" trip report WARNING- LONG!

HOLY HELL, what a vacation! Where to start? I figure since I/we have vague memories of quite a few things maybe we will try our best and then let the pictures prove it later? Lets give this a go shall we? As a prelude to our trip we have quite the drama up until the last hours before our flight as to if we are going to be able to travel due to family members that were/are having major health issues. 24hrs before we leave my father-in-law had open heart surgery and my father had his gall bladder removed to find that he has such a horrible infection to go with it he has internal gangrene. So at 12am on the 25th we get to start this blessed event by falling asleep for 2 whole hours.

March 26th- wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey! 2-fricken-am we get up to shower, gather and pack the lasts of our stuff in the bags by 3am before our the 1/2 hour trip to get into our ride to the airport. Another 1/2 hour to the airport to be there before the 2 hour pre-flight check-in. 6am and LIFT OFF! Nice, easy 4 hour flight with a few vodka soaked gummie bears to ease some tensions. Landing was beautiful, but stepping out into an airport figuring on having some nice warm temps was a bit of a stretch. We came in with a welcoming temp of roughly 65 degrees(probably less). We make our way to the baggage claim and start our way to the red light/green light customs fiasco. Of course we had to get the red light! Now mind you there are a few select items I didn't want Kellie to even see before we got to the resort. Carry-on #1 open, no problemo. Carry-on #2, again no problemo! Checked bag... different song, but wonderful thing the customs people have a good sense of humor. Just as they move stuff around the hear a screaming loud "BAWWWWKKAAAA", so the route through the stuff finding mr. wiggles and a few other unmentionables but the look on their face finding the cause of the problem, a 16" rubber chicken that clucks and kaws when you squeeze it, had them laughing so hard the had nothing to do but piss themselves and ask us to zip it up. We make our way outside to where we find the weather less then what we figured of just the temps. Winds of a steady 10-15mph with gusts pushing upwards of 25mph.

USA transport gets us to the resort by 11:30am where we try our luck on checking into a room as we have the first bags left at the door. No such luck, so we let the desk know we would like to request a room in the 1000 block and they started calling around to the house keeping seeing what rooms will be cleaned first. THAT IS SERVICE! we are told to check back in about 1 hour. Now we gather our suits, bracelets on wrist and off to find the sexy pool but having to stay as covered as a muslim woman in prayer. We say our hellos to Pedro & Victor at the bar, order up some drinks with no one in the pool and trying to find a seat without luck we stand around by the towel hut. Sneaking up behind us wrapping arms around Kellie but her man crush from the previous year and his LOVELY wife. So off to their chairs they saved for us knowing we were coming in. We spent the day cuddled up on the chairs staying warm with lots of alcohol and good friends. Off to a wonderful dinner with them and more cocktails. Through-out this time we have met a few other wonderful people from on here also. To name a few would be fun and conceivable to remember all of them and forget to name even one would be horrible.

We end up at PatyO's not knowing or thinking fully about schoolgirl night and how it was already in full swing. So back to the room and change up the clothes. Misssing out on the group picture we make up for it with meeting even more friends. Summerbum sets the bar once again with detention shirt "are you tighter than a fifth grader". I know I should have paid more attention to those naughty school girls but that shirt was amazing! After being up that late and running on 2 hours of sleep we thought it best that we are off to bed at 12:30 so that we can make the most of the following day... dun dun dun... THE Boobs Cruise!!!

March 27th- How to make this long one short? Yeah, I will try seeing on how long day one was typed out and it being rather uneventful. Waking up to a coffee and Bailey's while Kell starts with a screwdriver. End of cruise! That's what I remember, or what by all rights what I should remember. Seeing Steve straight away and finally meeting Jannet was great. Then being introduced to Lenni & Jodie was one of the best things that could have happened to us for this trip. Knowing the reputation and not being one to back down from a challenge I saw Lenni as my foe and opponent at the war of drinking! This I find later though as valiant an effort as it was, it was also to be a never ending and futile war. We think about boarding the boat and once again the weather is windy, cold and what can you add to that... sure enough a little rain. Why not this are already not looking all the best so what the hell why not rain on the parade.

After the rain subsides we gather our wits, board the boat, and set sail. Some of those brave women drop the tops and it was evident it was cold. So why not get things going? Just not right for us to expect us the ladies to remove the tops and not the guys so up I go taking off my top and starting to drink every shot that came across. By the time we hit Isla I recall 8 shots of tequila and 5 rum punches. That is said with a little blur but with out a doubt it was equal or more finding what happens after the return to the boat. I guess when the crew needed to get things done I got put in charge of a blow up doll of which she didn't loose her air but lets say she has no secrets anymore after I molested the hell out of her. One of the things to see the pictures to prove it.

Lunch with some new friends, Lenni & Jodie and then the conversation of a PA(Prince Albert) comes up in the bar. In a small circle, with Kellie being dumbfounded by this, she decides to ask to see. What to our surprise but there I am in a circle with 2 guys whipping it out to show her their PA. Lucky girl! Slowly making our way to the beach as it comes over us that there is a group of paparazzi at the bar. Inquisitively looking on we find 1 of our cruise members up on the bar topless, getting body shots by those willing to administer. Being now down at the beach after some very strong tequila shots in the bar and feeling NO pain we start into the games. OH poor timid little Kellie, or so I thought. Sexual positions game, I get knocked out after 3 rounds. Now my lovely shy, tiimid, concervative lil freak in the sheets decides to show her true colors. When some one doesn't know how to get in a position quick she throws the gal down as she is starting to get up and sits on her face. Being in the last group still there I stand a little taller these days. What a woman!

Now the long walk of shame back to the boat, head out have a few more shots and realize.. hmmm maybe this is no bueno? Sitting on the back of the boat I find the term "purge and party" to be completely true. Ah yes the shame of it. Continuing to feel the party on the front I wash the mouth out after sitting and letting Lenni laugh at me like a hyena. We get right back after it and find our way back to the resort. To the sexy pool with Steve, Jannet, Lenni & Jodie we get the offer to go party with them. Our greatest thank to them for opening their house to us. Not all people would be so inviting. Further more we get showed and treated to "real mexico" at a local pub drinking all night until finally leaving the bar back to Steve and Jannets house where we sit with a few more drinks until roughly 2:30am being completely smashed with a driver that really doesn't know where TTR is was asking a little much. Guess it's a good thing we made it back?!

OK, well seeing as though I type slower than all hell I will call it at day 2 for now.............. T.B.C!!!

 

Sounds like a good time and potentially good pictures! Thanks for the report

 

Sounds epic cant wait to start the party in 20 days

 

I have to say I have been surprised to see so many people posting about the weather being cold at the end of March. I thought the cold weather was always gone by the beginning of March at the latest. Surely the April Addicts aren't going to get some cold days this year??! :icon_eek:

 

Also any word to report back on new crew for the Boobs Cruise? I'm am sure they will be fan-fucking-tastic. Just remember a last Steve post saying he was trying a few out to see if they were a good fit.
Kelly

 

Great report (so far). I really hope the weather warmed up for you guys...

 

That's one heck of a start. Interested to know where (& how) that rubber chicken featured in your antics......!

 

The new crew was great. Darius and I believe Chewy were very helpful and interactive in getting things going. I believe they came from desire as as a switch with Omar. We did have a pretty experienced crowd though too so that may have played into it. The weather did warm up and the Chicken will make a few appearances so stay tuned. I don't have the time or the resources to go into it through the work computer here.

 

Love the long reports with day by day accounts that keep us looking forward to more. Thanks!

 

Keep them coming!!

The part about having to cover up like a muslim women had me cracking up..... just the image of it at TTR... oh my!!