Jokes Thread!!

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by Madd Dougg, Oct 12, 2005.

  1. Madd Dougg

    Madd Dougg Guest

    +0 / 0
    Post Your Jokes here and give someone a laugh,

    Heres mine for today:-

    One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
    As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
    Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people ombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here."
    The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese".
    "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

    In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
    Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
    The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
  2. Matty

    Matty Guest

    +0 / 0
    lol...liked that one mate,good shit..
    Alright i've got one for's a bit average..please ladies don't take this the wrong way.. :D

    Respect etc.
    Suck his cock :lol:
  3. Madd Dougg

    Madd Dougg Guest

    +0 / 0
  4. Madd Dougg

    Madd Dougg Guest

    +0 / 0
    How was I born?

    The little boy asks his father - Daddy, how was I born? Dad responds,

    Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you
    see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on AOL. Then I set
    up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

    As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
    had used a fire wall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
    nine months later a blessed little popup appeared and said: You've got
  5. scouse_andy

    scouse_andy Guest

    +0 / 0
    One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

    Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

    The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick".

    Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".

    On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

    Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.

    Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!
  6. claire

    claire Guest

    +0 / 0
    yeah ok,
    my one wins, it was on the back of a penguin bar.....

    how does a tree count?


    ok so its the worst joke in the world, i just had to share my grief with the rest of you!

    i also have one that i got out of a christmas cracker last year and its bluetacked to my computer waiting for the right moment to tell it...

    what flashes but doesnt move?

    a telegraph pole when you're travelling in a car!

    WHAT THE F*CK!?! is that even a joke?! i dont get it, if any one does, let me know!!!

    ok, back to the good jokes now people! :D
  7. Madd Dougg

    Madd Dougg Guest

    +0 / 0
    LOL, the worst jokes are the funniest as the funny thing about them is that there not funny! Kinda like that guy from "THE OFFICE"

    Flashes but dosent move! I cant be asked to explain its just dumb!
  8. claire

    claire Guest

    +0 / 0
    yeah the Office is good though thats the difference!

    so your telling em you get that joke?! hmmm. i'll hav a think!
  9. Kait13

    Kait13 Guest

    +0 / 0
    this is all one big joke..

    Q:how do you kill a blue elephant?
    A:with a blue elephant gun
    Q:how do you kill a pink elephant
    A:you choke it till it turns blue then kill it with the blue elephant gun!!!!!!!

  10. claire

    claire Guest

    +0 / 0
    i like that one!!

    so silly its good
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice