I'm Leaving CancunCare

I have decided to take a leave of absence from the CancunCare forums for the next few months, possibly forever. I may decide to return later, we shall see.

I'm leaving because I feel the board needs actual moderation instead simply of Steve's occasional comments about how people here don't get along. Those comments make people feel bad, but do nothing to provide an example of how people here should act. Those aren't moderation.

Back when Steve read and contributed to the Living in Cancun forum on a regular basis he naturally moderated it with little comments and nudges to push people to get along. And back then I couldn't wait to read the forum every day, back then this was my favorite spot on the internet.

My opinion is that the people posting here are simply too different from one another in background, education, ability to write clearly, state of mental health, state of happiness and personal agenda to actually be peaceful with eachother 100% of the time. The diversity here is part of what makes it interesting, but the diversity also means that the board needs gentle moderation or it will die. It is dying now.

I joined so long ago that I do not recall the terms and conditions I agreed to. But I would sincerely hope that one of the terms is that people need to be respectful members of the community.

I have repeatedly seen V hurt people here. And he has repeatedly hurt me here. He has been disrespectful and cruel to board members here more times than I can count. If I owned this board I would have asked him to leave long ago because of the way he picks on people here. I believe that V's style and attitude has made many of us defensive and nervous about posting here. I know that I have said things here that I wish I hadn't, and I've said those things only because V's comments made me defensive.

Had the board been moderated, even a little bit, and had V been taken to task for the harshness of his ways I'm sure I would not have felt so defensive and those posts may not have come flying from my fingertips.

I am sorry if my own bitchiness about V has helped to bring the board down to its current state of negativity, that was never my intention.

If the board returns to the pleasant place it once was then you can be assured I will return.

Take care folks!

 

RiverGirl, I'm sorry that you will no longer be contributing to this forum. You have been a wealth of information to me. Thanks for leading me to Rescate Malix and for your always spot on advice. I, as well as many others, will miss you! I understand your reasoning, and hope you decide to come back really soon.:cry:

 

Sorry to hear that, RiverGirl.

Especially in that you are a long time participant in the forum.

I enjoy the debate portions of the forum. The written word is tricky and does not convey tone, inflictions, volume or facial expressions. Neither do you know what life experiences contribute to a person's posted opinions. You don't know the person's character or intent. You don't know what emotional response may have provoked a posted response.

All these things have to be gleamed from a post.

I think it's best to assume the best in people. You are a sensitive person and I think you probably agree with that.

I hope I didn't post anything to offend you and sincerely apologize if I did.

We should all do our best to be considerate of others here.

I'm sure there are a lot of people here that would want you to reconsider and use the "block" function provided here to avoid posters that upset you. Reconsider. It's good to have nice people like you around.

 

RG you know im a big Living in Cancun lurker and like many of us i really appreciate what you've always brought to the board. I totally understand what you mean about the harshness. I miss your posts already lol

come back soon

 

RiverGirl, I go back to 2006 when the then-avatar of your face was as soft as the kindness of your answers to one and all. To me, you and T.J. have always spent an inordinate amount of time responding to everyone, never choosing favorites, and never demeaning our often-repetitious or dumb questions. You were always both amazing.
Times change, and people move on to other things for other reasons; that may be the case with Steve, I don't know. As for V, I haven't read 100% of his contributions, cuz they didn't always seem relevant to me, but when I have, I've noticed a know-it-all attitude that has turned me off, and caused me now to regularly skip over his comments. But I never skip over yours, or T.J.'s. I guess what I'm saying is: I understand, I've enjoyed you a lot on here, and if you go, please come back soon, and if you don't go, I'll keep visiting this site regularly, and moreso, will lend my support to keeping it real.

 

As you know, I'm fairly new to this site. An expat friend of mine directed me here, and one of the first things I mentioned to him was that I found it odd how negative the forum was, and how aggressive people seemed to get about seemingly nothing. My grammar was even corrected on one occasion. If that's not a turnoff, I'm not sure what is.

At the same time, I have also seen many kind words and gotten much positive information during my short time here. I'll definitely stick around myself to see how things go.

Anyway, this forum has so much great information, and a lot of that has been thanks to you, RG, from what I see. I hope you decide to come back soon.