Hello. I'm new to these forums and need some advice, info, HELP! My stepdaughter turned 18 at the beginning of November. Her brilliant mother took her to Cancun to celebrate. Daughter met a 32YO lifeguard. He told her he loved her, wants to take care of her and she is moving there next Saturday. I am scared to death that this guy is a bad man who is going to hurt her. Any info out there if human trafficking is real and if she could be walking into death.
Hard not to worry, but I'm sure she wont be in any physical danger. Lots of young girls do the same (far more so than guys) and the worst they end up with is a broken heart and/or empty purse. They fall in love with the vacation, not necessarily the person. Once she realises living here is no vacation (especially on a lifeguards wages) then its highly likely she'll change her mind about the idea. The guys that work in the hotel zone in jobs such as Lifeguards, Club Promoters and Ents staff do tend to be 'players' and they see different girls each week. They are probably no different to the kind of guys that work those jobs in any place in the World though, including at home. As a slight aside I know a lot of people with marriages or relationships between Mexicans and Foreigners. Of my own personal friends I can think of very few where the relationship has worked between a Mexican guy and Foreign girl, yet I know lots of strong relationships/marriages between Mexican girls and Foreign guys.
You can stop her or try and she'll hate you forever, or give her some sort of open return ticket home , for when she decides to come back.
Been there!!!! Done that!!! I moved here for a guy back in 2009. I was much older than your step daughter, but in the end it's all the same. Chances are, he has and will continue to tell any woman that looks at him that he loves them. My relationship only survived 11 months once I moved here, and they were far from wonderful and romantic like he promised. And he has damaged my trust in men. That being said, I stayed in Cancun after the breakup (4 years now) and never regreated a minute of it. Again, she is 18, and I was 33 at the time. Live and learn.
Odds are this relationship will end badly for your daughter. Odds are that this guy is a player and has many relationships in play at the same time. Odds are that if he has a committed relationship with your daughter, even a live in version, that he will regularly be unfaithful. I have been in Cancun more than 9 years and have many ladies I know to have tried this and lost. To be fair, at least 2 have wonderful relationships with the guys they met on vacation here and came back or even stayed. So what is 2 out of at least 50? At best a 4% chance of success. I know more than one who had to pay all the bills as her man never had the money, even moving into their apts to save rent, which he could never pay his share of. We have a very common expression here: ________ (insert name) has a BMW. You mean the car? No, a "Broke Mexican Waiter". Were it my daughter, I would steal her passport until she got over this and went on with her 18 year old life.
Well said TJ! Mind you I've been married nearly 3 years to my husband but it is so very rare and I see so many of the girls trying to do what we did, only to be left heartbroken, broke and regretting losing their youth for "love". You you can tell her everything but she won't listen and will need to learn this on her own. She will be back most likely within the next 6 months saying how she shoulda listened to you! As what Steve said too, she's falling in love with the vacation and not so much with the guy.
Mono, There you have it. You might want to let your daughter read this thread. She will most likely not like what she reads but it's the truth. I think if ToriB did it over again, she would have bailed out before the 11 month mark. But she is a tough cookie and gave it her best shot. Thanks Jojo306. Steve and I have been here a long time and have seen it all, most of it more than once. Without sounding like a know it all, our advice is pretty darn good most every time, and even though we don't always see eye to eye, we remain long time friends and have a cold one when the opportunities arise. When is that next opportunity Steve? Good luck mono. We never saw any reply posts. Are you seeing these comments??
Mono (the starter of the thread) never bothered returning to the forum after posting his original concerns. Maybe his daughter didnt go through with the move, or maybe he wasn't that concerned after all. Shame really as lots of good advice given from people who know. Agreed. I don't get out much these days, if I do it's usually to Temptation for a night out with Jannet rather than to the old haunts like La Taberna. I'm sure we'll catch up one day though.
