As per V's suggestion, I'm starting a thread on the ins/outs of being in a relationship with a Mexican. Thanks for the suggestion, V. Some of the pluses that I personally have experienced in being with a Mexican (I'm with a Yucateco, so I can't speak for Mexicans from other parts of Mexico): he's very family-oriented, and has a great deal of respect for his parents. He works incredibly hard, and goes out of his way to help others without asking anything in return (he has a kind heart). There's a certain amount of innocence that's endearing (that sounds a lot more condescending than I intend it to be; I'm not sure if it's because he comes from a small town and doesn't have much experience in the "big city", or maybe because of the fact that he's 6 years younger than me!). He also took all of my ethnocentric complaining in stride when we lived in Mexico, and since moving to the U.S., he's been kind enough to refrain from being brutally critical of some of the more ridiculous aspects of American culture (except, of course, when he saw the slippers in Wal-mart that have a shag bottom and double as floor cleaners). He's an awesome dad, and our son idolizes him! I'm also lucky to have great and supportive in-laws who were wonderfully accommodating when my husband and I lived with them after our son was born. Some of the down sides to being with a Mexican partner: Alcohol. This is not an issue with my husband so much as his friends. It's having to deal with his annoying drunk friends who decide it's a good idea to start drinking at 10 AM, and an even better idea to send text messages and call his cell phone at 3 AM. It's sadly pervasive among young and old in Yucatan. Jealousy. Not much more I can say about that. I'm not sure if other women have had the same experience with this, but (some) Mexican women are sometimes a problem when you are with a Mexican man. I'm absolutely convinced that a guy could have 5 heads, 16 eyes, no teeth, and smell like brie that has been left in a hot car for a month (in a sewer), but if he's with a gringa, suddenly he's the hottest and most desirable man on the planet. My husband is handsome (IMHO), so that made it that much worse. I'll probably think of some more, and add as I go...
I have to agree with you 100%! My fiance is a Yucateco. he's very generous, very patient, and very openminded, which has also been my experience with the rest of his family. His friends/cousins are ALWAYS showing up drunk to his house day or night, not to mention the calls and texts. My fiance doesn't drink quite as much, and never initiates a beerfest, but if they call, he'll go. (If he's with me, he'll turn them down.) I can't stand this because his friends are DISGUSTING when they're drinking... although normally they're very nice boys haha. Mexican girls have also been a problem. Many (not all) seem to have no problem hitting on a guy with a girlfriend. My fiance had never had a serious girlfriend, but as soon as we started dating they were all over him haha. Mexican men are supposedly machistas, but with my fiance that is not the case. On the contrary, he often cooks and cleans on his own inicitiative, and he doesn't expect me to wait on him or anything.
My husband is the same! He's a lot neater than I am, and frequently (and graciously) picks up after me in my scatterbrained mommy-ness. I think this might have to do with the fact that he's the youngest in his family, so his older brother was helping out his dad, and my husband was left with his mom. He always used to help her with the cleaning. Another down side is how my husband views animals. I had a cat that he despised when we lived in Cancun. He would get really grossed out when I would let the kitten sleep on my chest. He hates cat and dog hair more than anything on the planet. I noticed that his dad is the same, so it doesn't surprise me. He's gradually getting used to having animals around all the time now, but he's still grossed out by animal hair. It also used to bother me (and still does) how everyone loved to catch songbirds, like cardinals and doves, and keep them in cages-- usually really small cages. He got all excited when he saw cardinals flying around our house in the U.S., and I have to constantly remind him that capturing songbirds is illegal. :-/ He was also big into cockfighting, as were all of his friends.
One of Jorge's uncles catches songbirds and hangs them in small cages. Jorge and I can't stand it!! He takes great care of animals... except he HATES cats. He doesn't like our dogs on the bed, though.
Yikes! Thanks, ladies, for these intimate looks at what it's like to be partnered with a Mexican man. I know there are others who read this forum who've also found Mexican partners in life, some of whom have been married for decades, have had children and settled right down, here. I hope they'll find time to share their experiences, as well. One of the ones I know best, though we haven't talked in detail of her personal life, came here three decades ago, met and married a Mexican man and proceeded to have eight children, in real Mexican (or perhaps traditional Catholic) fashion. She's an educated professional woman who works full time- and apparently found time to have a well developed family life, as well! What size family do Mexican men seem to want, these days?
V, We have two children, and my husband is not opposed to having more in the future, but once we're in a more financially stable position. It's been a little tough because my son is 2, and my daughter was born 2 days after his second birthday. My husband works all day, and I'm working at home (grant writing) AND taking care of two young'uns. Never a dull moment! So, we'll be waiting at least a few more years! By the way, my son looks just like me (and has the Irish name "Aidan") and my daughter looks just like my husband (and has the Mayan name "Ixchel"). ;-)
non Mexican (both of us) and we have 4 (but I would have been very happy with 5, but don't tell DH!!!)
Hmm, Mexican partner for almost seven years, one child (and that is PLENTY). Won't say much as he reads this forum, haha. ;0 Yes, there is a macho aspect to him, hard working (almost too hard working, sometimes everything else comes after the job), stubborn. But honestly, I don't know if there is a "typical Mexican" man, there are just "men", you'll find similar characteristics in men around the world so I would hate to use the phrase "Mexican men are ____". And though he might want more kids, hell no, one is definitely enough for me!
