For all my sarcastic friends

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by vrodgers, May 23, 2007.

  1. vrodgers

    vrodgers Guest

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    9 Things I Hate About People:

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the theatre and stare at the damn floor.

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
     
  2. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    I like 'em! The tone of these one-liners is somewhat familiar...maybe George Carlin?
     
  3. vrodgers

    vrodgers Guest

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    Sounds like him, you're right! I was also thinking of that one comedian that passed away several years ago -- Sam something, I think -- was hit by a car. He screamed his jokes, always wore a beret, shorter guy with crazy hair.
     
  4. TexasCouple

    TexasCouple Guest

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    Sam Kinison
     
  5. vrodgers

    vrodgers Guest

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    Yes! Thanks!
     
  6. Cancun_bound

    Cancun_bound Guest

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    Most of them are George Carlin. Great stuff.
     
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