John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. 'Give me one last request, dear,' he said. 'Of course, John,' his wife said softly. 'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Bob.' 'But I thought you hated Bob,' she said. With his last breath John said, 'I do!'
Bill was on his deathbed and confessed to his wife, and ask her forgiveness. Each time I was unfaithful to you, I put a pea in pill jar in the medicine cabinet. In that container you will find my unfaithfulness. Can you ever forgive me, he ask, and she did. As fate would have it he made a miraculous recovery and his wife was soon stricken with a fatal illness. On her death bed she confessed to Bill and ask his forgiveness. "I am sorry but I to have been unfaithful to you in the past, can you ever forgive me, she asked"? Each time I was unfaithful to you, I put a bean in container under the bed. There you will find my unfaithfulness, except for the bushel we ate last winter during hard times.
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer, or porn. This makes it clear that men are not from Mars. I tried exercise, but was allergic to it. My skin flushed, and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous. Panties are just overpriced wrapping paper.. Whenever some says to me, "You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?" I like to respond with " Do you watch porn?" Men have feeling too. For example, we feel hungry. There is nothing worse than realizing the vacation you planned is going to be during the same week as her period. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, "If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names. I want one of those jobs where people ask, "Do you actually get paid for doing this?" I once won an argument with a woman.... in this dream I had.
