Well seeing as its friday and Comic Relief Day (charity) here in the UK, so thought i'd share a few jokes that were rocking around on the BBC HYS site .. add to them as you please! -------------------------------------------- Irish news reports that a light aircraft has crashed onto a cemetary near Cork. Emergency services have so far recovered 3,427 bodies ------------------------------------------- A not very bright fisherman decides to fish on a frozen lake, lifetime ambition, so drills hole and fishes. Voice from above"there are no fish under the ice" Moves on & starts again, voice booms out again "there are no fish under the ice' Now scared so moves on & starts again, same voice booms out again. Fisherman is frigthened now , looks up & says 'Lord, is that you?' No replies the voice, 'I'm the manager of this ice rink' --------------------------------------------- There waas a bloke in a pub sitting next to a tiny man playing a keyboard. his friend comes over & asks him about his day. The bloke replies ' well i was fishing down by the canal earlier & i caught a mermaid. She offered me my hearts Desire if i'd let her go' 'thats brilliant' says his mate 'what did you ask for?' 'Well it would have been brilliant' says the man, 'but i think she must have had water in her ears, because i've ended up with this 12 inch pianist' ----------------------------------------------- A mechanical engineer, chemical engineer and computer engineer take a car ride in the desert. Unexplicably, the car breaks down. The three engineers scratch their heads to discover the fault. "It must be a mechanical fault" says the mechanical engineer. "No, it's the wrong fuel" argues the chemical engineer. Both argue with each other, until the computer engineer identifies the solution: "Why don't we close all the windows, and then open them again". ---------------------------------------------- An Irishman cleaning his rifle accidentally shot and killed his wife then dialled 999 for help. Paddy "Its my wife I accidentally shot her, I killed her!" Operator "Please calm down sir, can you first make sure she really is dead?" CLICK, BANG! Paddy "OK done that what next?"
