After a night on the town with the boys a very tipsy guy hops in a cab to go home. The cab driver is so nice and friendly the guy offers him 12 beers and a medium pepperoni pizza. The cabbie gladly accepts the offer. To make good on his offer the guy leans over the seat and promptly throws up... Can't wait for May!
Q. Whats the most common used pick up line at a gay bar? A. Excuse me can I push your stool in for you?
What doesn't taste good on Pizza or Pussy? Anchovies What does taste good on Pizza and Pussy? Bacon Bits.... Bacon is great on everything
Single guy sitting at the bar, telling the bartender all the problems he is having with his girlfriend. In the corner of the bar a dog is laying down cleaning/licking itself. The single guy says to the bartender, if I could do that I wouldn't have all my problems The bartender says, go ahead he doesn't bite.
a man gets up in the morning and says wife, dog cmon lets go fishing, wife says I don't wanna go, man says if you don't go I get to fuck you in the ass, wife says ok lets go fishing.... next day man says wife, dog lets go fishing, wife sez I really don't wanna go he says well that means I get to fuck you in the ass, she says ok goes to unzip the mans pants and says Oh my god why does your dick smell so bad, he replied the dog didn't wanna go either.