An actual letter to the Canadian Passport office : Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT! I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!
Ahhh, North American governments are the same on both sides of the river. Brewster, it is no different over here. When I renewed my passport I couldn't go 20 miles from here across the bridge into Canada because I didn't have my passport which took them six weeks to renew and send back to me. Now about what I don't like about big government.......
Thanks for the laugh..... But at least your health care system is the best in the world right? ....deep breath.... just messin' Jamie
Too funny! our health care is int he crapper, I'd rather pay for health care and take my 40% income tax back.
As Jamie said...Take a deep breath...he's just winding you up, and it's all in good fun We have had these debates until we are all blue in the face, he's just goofing on you.
I think we need another special smilie. This one should show someone jerking a chain. For some reason I think the one doing the jerkings should have a mustache and wearing glasses.
Brewster Just to add to the "logic" of the system- until about 5 years ago a valid Canadian passport was not acceptable as a document for identification when you went to the passport office to renew the passport. Apparently it was good enough to enter any other country in the world.....but the issuer had some issues on its authenticity!
I find this funny since I used to go over to Niagara Falls on Saturday night with nothing but a school id and had no trouble getting across the Canadian border (drinking laws are 19 there and 21 in NY). Good thing I came of age before all these rules, where's a girl supposed to put a passport while she's at a bar...
