A Southerner Moves North Dear Diary:* Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Minnesota. It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.* Oct. 14 -* Minnesota is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.* Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Michigan. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!* Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. VERY COLD but nothing that can’t be cured with a warm blanket and a cup of hot cocoa. I love it here!* Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. -15F today with ice crystals all over. A winter wonderland. I love it here!* Dec. 19 - More snow and -10F - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!* Dec. 21 - More of that white s*&%^* coming down and there seems to be no break with this danged bitter cold. I've got blisters on my hands, a kink in my back and I’m pretty sure my nose is frostbitten. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Ahole.* Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow and -25F with -60F windchill. Hell has officially frozen over! If I ever get my hands on the idiot who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??* Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that moron "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??* Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the s^%$head actually had the nerve to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.* Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a friggin deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the b&^%. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me. Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. Then the temp dropped to a balmy 10F rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of crap into fireplace wood when I had the chance.* Feb 26 – We have officially had 45 days under 0F… and have more snow at the end of my driveway than I can see over. I am spending more money on shovels and cold weather wear than I spent moving to this cespool of a state.* May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow crap.* June 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Cancun. I can't imagine why anyone in their right freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Minnesota
This diary is so hilarious, remembered our Minnesotan days and that bitter cold.... Glad we moved and done with it...
As a person living in Alberta (and has spent most of the last two months working outdoors) who talked on Skype with his dad and wife who are wintering in Costa Rica last night all I can say is... They are very very mean. I'd like to see this global warming because we sure as hell haven't gotten any of it! lol
Being a born and raised Minnesotan - this is my life. In the summer I have a charcoal SUV in winter it's light grey. But I'm lucky anything under 20 feels the same to me... Mind numbing cold. Even with -50 f wind-chills. Looking forward to 82 degrees in 3 sleeps.
I can see the bluffs of Minnesota from my doorstep. Wisconsin is similar to Minnesota...except that we have an NFL team here.
