A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order. The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room, where her daughter had been waiting. "Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini." After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I have been diagnosed with AIDS , "The friends gave the woman their condolences, and they had a couple of more martinis. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS." The woman said, "I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone. :lol:
:lol: well...here's another once since the board is slowing down: >> Bridge to Hawaii >> >> A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when >> suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, >> the Lord >> said, >> >> "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will >> grant >> you one wish. >> >> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can >> ride >> over anytime I want." >> >> The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the >> enormous >> challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required >> reaching the >> bottom of the Pacific and the concrete >> and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural >> resources. >> >> I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your Desire for >> worldly >> things. Take a little more time and think of something that could >> possibly help mankind." >> >> The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, >> "Lord, I >> wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know >> how she >> feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent >> treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's >> wrong, >> and how I >> can make a Woman truly happy." >> >> The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
