I posted a week or so ago about planning for a trip in April 2023 and got some good feedback. My wife and I have had some ongoing conversations about TTR and what to expect. As part of that, she's done her own research too. In short, she's completely against the BC and has made it very clear that she won't be taking her top off in the pool. She had breast cancer a few years ago which included a mastectomy on one side. She had breast reconstruction but its pretty obvious from her scars she's had a lot of work done. She also recently had conversation with a friend of ours who visited TTR several years ago and they talked about what to expect in the pool. The friend mentioned some of the contests included swapping swim suits to which my wife commented that she has no interest in that either. In short, the conversation as a whole was very negative. I'm at a point where I'm close to just calling off the whole trip. Any feedback about any of this would be greatly appreciated.
I think that there is really only one vote that matters - your wife's vote. Here is what I would ask her: There are plenty of people that go to Temptation and don't go on the Boobs Cruise, many women don't go topless and many people don't participate in the contests, but still enjoy the party atmosphere and the open environment. Are you comfortable going with the limits you set or do you feel you will be out of place and/or uncomfortable? Deciding what to do should be obvious from her answer.
There is also the quiet pool. Great place to hang out if you don’t want the party of the sexy pool. No one is going to make her do anything that she doesn’t want to do. Go have a blast and when you feel like slowing down there are places to do that. If you don’t go you will always wonder, what if.
I've been so focused on the busier pool that I forget there is even a quiet pool too. Part of her concern is being pressured into doing some game that she doesn't want to do. I'll keep that pool in mind when she and I talk later today. Thanks!
There is zero pressure to do anything you are not comfortable with. We've been to TTR maybe a dozen times. I didn't take my top off until about the 3rd or 4th trip. Taking one's top off is totally optional and your wife, or anyone, can still have an amazing time with a swimsuit on. On our most recent trip in August, I'd say a majority of women kept their tops on (including me!) As far as participation in games and contests, again, there is zero pressure. I have never participated in the games (not my thing) but boy is it fun to watch! The staff (Playmakers) might ask you if you want to participate, but they know many people decline so it's never an issue. I understand her hesitation regarding body image. As mentioned before, I was very reluctant to ditch my bikini top. I also have body image issues (most people do to a degree?) The great thing about Temptation is you will not feel judged or looked down upon. There are literally all kinds of body types there and everyone seems comfortable because they should feel comfortable. What I mean to say is other guests do not snicker, point, chuckle, side-eye... that sort of thing. For the most part, other guests are respectful. You could compromise and ask her if she's willing to go, but just not do any of the more fun stuff. As someone else mentioned, she can hang out by the Quiet Pool or the far ends of the Sexy Pool and play it "safe" If it is any consolation, my husband and I were super nervous before we first arrived to Temptation. We thought the notion of topless women would mean all hell breaks loose and the resort would be one big frat-orgy. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Our fears were put to rest within the first minute of our arrival.
@JandTAZ - I would caution you to differentiate between "I am worried about being pressured to do things I do not want to do" vs "I really don't feel comfortable in that kind of atmosphere". I would agree if her issue is the former, then you can assure her that she will feel little pressure and that you you can still have a successful and enjoyable trip. But if it is the later, you should think really hard about finding another place. Only you and your wife can make that distinction.
Don't worry about the games. About 50% of the pool patrols ignore them anyway (especially those that have been there before), 5% participate, and 45% watch. There is no pressure to play the games, we never have and don't intend to. The sexy pool is big enough to get away from it. You can watch, if so inclined, from a safe distance. Also, there is no pressure for women to go topless. When we first started going, most ladies were topless and there was a little pressure, not from anyone, but a from a need to fit in. Now that there are more tops than not, Kay actually felt awkward at times topless this last trip because the majority of ladies had their tops on.
Len couldn't have said it better. It's not a negotiation, it's a veto. But, it doesn't sound like she dislikes the resort, only that her expectations of what happens there are a little biased. There's no pressure to do things you don't want to, at any of Original's resorts. The playmakers ask people well in advance if they'd like to participate in games and are sensitive that not everyone's there to be in front of a crowd. The Boobs Cruise is the only place you might feel pressure to be topless, but it's a very optional part of the trip that a lot of guests never do. Overall the resort is well maintained, the staff is friendly, and the pool and booze are well stocked Fwiw if you're skimming online reviews the bloggers and reviewers really ham-up the sexy part of the resort. Yes, there's some boobs and flirty people, but on the whole the resort's just a fun place where you'll make friends and have the kind of party you want. Be on the same page with your wife about what that means going in and it'll be the resort you go back to for years.
I appreciate the replies everyone. My wife read my post and your replies before she and I talked this afternoon. We had an misunderstanding of what she was saying and what I was hearing. She assured me she's 100% on board to attend TTR but has some concerns whether people we've invited will be on board or not as they do their own research. We'll be there to celebrate my 50th birthday in 2023 and she wants me to have a good experience with friends I haven't seen in a long time flying in from around the US. She's more worried about that than me, but she's doing it from a good place. Thanks again, what y'all wrote helped assure some of the concerns she expressed about the games in the pool, etc. Based on how helpful and friendly everyone is on this forum, I'm really looking forward to the trip. Too bad its so damn far away though!
