It's been a little over a year since our visit to TTR back in May 2016. With the construction keeping us from going this year, we are really feeling the itch to go back. We have already decided we will be back the last week of May 2018! We are Kevin and Patti from Arkansas. We have been married 17 years, I'm 35 and she's 33 with 3 kids ages 6, 12, 16. It would shock people to know what we did on our vacation, but we found this great group of people that we can cut loose with. We are not in the lifestyle, but we are not shy either. Patti likes to have her fun with the females at times though. For my wife's graduation present, we decided to book a 2-week vacation to Cancun. Having never been to Cancun before we wanted to get the full spectrum of fun. We booked 5 nights in a basic hotel dead center of the hotel zone, 5 nights at TTR, and then 3 nights in this 5-star super fancy spa resort. Staying in the hotel zone was fun for the first couple of days. We did a Xenotes excursion and visited the hot spots and beaches while taking in the culture. However, unless you're there with friends it's hard to meet new people, and partying isn't the same with just the two of you. We were so looking forward to TTR that we even walked down to the beach just to have a look inside. It looked like so much fun, we felt like kids looking into a candy store. At the end of our trip, we spent 3 days at a very high-end resort. It was beautiful, but it was also lame. Our room had a back patio that stepped right into the main pool with a swim up bar. But, the people (not the staff) were unfriendly, and the night life was non-existent. For the price, we were disappointed. However, we had just left TTR and were wishing we had just booked our entire 2-weeks there. We were there May 25-30, 2016. The same time as @ScubaSteve post here: Balls Out Trip Report - May 28th - June 5th The day came we got to check into TTR. We got the room with a Jacuzzi with the idea that if the place was too rowdy we could retreat back to our room for some one-on-one fun. The room was ready early. We get checked in, and the room is clean. By this time we've been in Cancun for several days. This is a resort on the beach with humidity and salty air. If you are expecting a pristine perfect resort I can give you the number of a 5-star resort down the road. Sexy Pool It's 10 am by the time we get checked in and changed, so the first place we go is the sexy pool. We had read about the shirts on the chairs and came prepared. The first thing we did was go to the nice shaded chairs in the member's area where we were quickly asked to leave. Embarrassing, but whatever we are new. We found two empty chairs and put our stuff on them. Here's the thing about the chairs. If you are using them, you aren't doing it right. The first day was the only day we even looked at the chairs. Throw your cover ups under a random chair and jump in the pool. We are at TTR less than an hour and Patti looks around and sees several women without their tops on, and immediately loses hers. We don't even get our drinks yet and people are talking to us. They aren't asking us to swing or go back to their room. They are asking things like who we are and where are we from. For me, having a conversation with a topless woman I just met is slightly awkward, but I figured out how to get over it. I'd just start the conversation with "Can I feel her boobs?" to the man followed by "Can I feel your boobs?" to the woman. I saw them, I touched them, we moved on with normal conversation. I'd also tell him he could feel my wife's boobs. It's like the best handshake ever. The sexy pool was where we spent every day from 9 - 4 with a break to eat lunch. Tip the bartenders and bring a mug. If you are nervous about meeting new people, put something interesting on your mug as an icebreaker. I put a Marine Corps Emblem on mine, and Patti just had her name on her's. Her's wasn't interesting, but she has boobs and that works too. Games On the first day, we are in the pool maybe an hour, and I'm on my second drink. They announce beer pong. I ask the guy we are talking to if he wants to play. So much fun! We make it to the final round. I slap a guy's ass, a competitor flashes his balls, my wife and teammate's girl start flashing the other two guys. We lose, but we hang out and drink with the others the rest of the day. My wife didn't win the wet t-shirt contest, but she was beaten by three women making out. So, was it really a loss? Tequila volleyball was a blast even though we lost. Patti got drunk on tequila Jenga. We played several games, and come to think of it, I'm not sure we won anything. However, my wife did win the shower dance game on the boob cruise, but more on that later. The games were so much fun to play no matter how ridiculous. Food I would talk about the food, but if you are going for the cuisine you are missing the point. I know of a 5-star resort if you are going to Cancun to eat. However, the food is great and there is variety enough for a week. Alcohol Unless you are a member, it is watered down. I actually like this. I can drink all day and get a buzz going without getting sloppy drunk. Closer to the end of the night we had some friends that are members get us stronger drinks. We will sign up for memberships when we go back, but I'll probably still use the regular bar. Don't be that guy that passes out face down on the shallow ledge of the sexy pool at 11 am. This happened twice during our trip. Theme Nights So, the first theme night is here. We probably agonized and researched and planned this more than anything else in our entire trip to Cancun. We wanted to participate and wear things we would never wear anywhere else. We also didn't want to stand out by either going too far or not going far enough. Turns out you can't do either. Guys can over do it though. Guys, in general, can go one of two routes; casual and low key or funny. It's about the women when it comes to theme night. Women, wear what you want nobody will think anything if you're showing too much or not enough. If you aren't showing enough it turns into a game trying to get you to show more. The first night we were there was BDSM night. Patti wore black vinyl booty shorts with suspenders, black "X" pasties, and she carried a riding crop. I went shirtless with torn jeans and a Christian Grey tie. There was a very energetic strip show. One of the ladies had me get on stage. She put a collar around me and kept trying to get me on my knees. Now I'm not submissive, so I couldn't let anyone pull me around on a leash. She even hit me a few times. After realizing I wasn't going to do what she wanted I was kicked off stage. My loss, because it was an awesome show. lingerie Casino night was the best night. The games were fun, but not for the serious gambler. The auction at the end was so much fun. However, the lingerie show was the best part. Patti had a good time and won by making out with her new friend on stage, but there was stiff competition (no pun intended) by a topless handstand in a school girl skirt. Again though, I don't think anyone lost on that one. The men dancing was awesome as well. There was one awkward man dancing (called himself "Chow") that was hilarious, but the one that had the biggest cheers was a husky white boy known as "Nacho Libre" with some incredible moves and showmanship. We had been hanging out with these guys already and continued to have a blast the rest of the week just cutting up and acting out. We didn't make it to ABC night because of passing out after the Boobs Cruise. White night was a big party night with lots of dancing and drinking. It was the only time I almost threw up in a plant from drinking too much. Red Hot night was our last night. Again, it was a big sexy party with dancing and socializing. Paty O's The outdoor center of the resort is the late night party place where the non-publicised fun happens. Also, in my opinion where the best food is. On casino night we weren't done gambling, so I went and got the waterproof cards I brought and several of us played blackjack for body shots TTR style. I say TTR style because the way we did it was the girl would sit on the side of the pool while the guy or girl would put their face in between the girl's legs. Someone would then pour a shot down her body starting at her boobs. The receiver would then be responsible drinking it from between her legs as well as making sure there was no more alcohol anywhere on her body. So much fun, but we got kicked out of the sports pool so we all retreated to our Jacuzzi to continue the fun. FYI you can only fit 6 adults in their Jacuzzi. Our Jacuzzi faced the quiet pool, so all of us being drunk decided to sneak over to it. In this pool, we decided to play games, one being men switching clothes with a random woman. I ended up in a white lace thong. We were all laughing and joking around sitting in the pool when a fully dressed couple walks up and asks for directions. Forgetting what I was wearing, I quickly stood up with all of my junk hanging out of this lace thong. The look on this guys face followed by a "Holy Sh##!" quickly reminded me of what I was wearing. I continued to act like nothing was wrong and gave him directions. During white night at Paty O's, Patti had tons of glow sticks she was putting on all the girls, not always around their necks and wrist and not necessarily with her hands. Red hot night at Paty O's ended with a lot of Fireball, and that is all I remember about that night. Boob's Cruise Probably the greatest thing you can ever do in Cancun. If you haven't booked yours yet, you should stop here and book it now. I'm not going to give too much detail because that would be like telling a kid what is under the tree instead of letting them experience the surprise and joy of discovering it for themselves. First off, Chinos and Sara69 are the two greatest party hosts I have ever met. You get on the boat, and your options are to drink either pink pussy or orange shit. I don't know what's in it, but it keeps you going. There are games and activities. My advice, don't be a pussy standing back watching. Participate and have some fun. Patti and I headed to the front and center of the boat and stayed there the whole trip. We skinny dipped in the ocean. Now the water is super clear so it only looks about 5 feet deep and by this time you are pretty buzzed. I was first off the boat wearing my bday suit. I swim like a fish so after the shock of realizing it is about 15 ft deep, I was fine. Shortly after, we hit the beach in Isla Mujeres with clothes on. Don't remember much about the food, but it was good to get some in. I do remember a guy going around giving tequila shots. The bottle had a scorpion in it, so I told him if he came back after the bottle was empty, I'd eat the scorpion thinking I'd never see him again. No lie, 5 minutes later he shows up with the scorpion in hand. Like a champ, I down it. Super crunchy by the way. Next was water volley and a shower game before getting back on the catamaran. @ScubaSteve says he was watching the island games too closely, but everyone was. Patti won with a trick that prior to that day only I had seen. It was incredible and so much fun. Back on the catamaran and on the way back, Patti and I were front and center putting on a show of our own. When we hit the dock at TTR, I was hammered. I was a douchebag showing off with pull-ups to @ScubaSteve which is not my character and I'm sorry about that. Patti and I hit our room and hit the bed even harder. This was the only night we didn't go to Paty O's, but the day was so much fun it was worth it. I took photos of the entire trip and of all of Patti's outfits, but during the water volleyball my phone's Lifeproof case didn't protect it, and my iPhone was ruined with all of my photos. This is probably the worst tragedy of our entire trip. We are looking so forward to this coming May to create new memories and make some new friends. We still talk to about 5 different couples we met in the 5 nights there. If you are going to be there next May, hit us up on here so we can party. We are excited about the remodel and can't wait to get our boobs wet again.
Glad you enjoyed it. We're set for our 5th trip in October. We pick TTR because of the entertainment. We've been to a number of all inclusive and pretty much they are all dead after 10PM. They are nice places but a little boring.
It's funny - after reading your first two paragraphs I thought you were writing our trip report! Just change a couple numbers and you just described us and our first trip. Only difference is we are 37, married 17 years with 3 kids aged 9, 11, and 15, and took our first trip in July of last year! Oh - and our 2nd trip is this October... Too bad you aren't coming back this year - sounds like we'd have a lot to talk about. Have fun next May!
