Newbie trip report- Vanilla no more (Long with no apologies)

We were really stretching our relationship as a couple by going to Temptation. We are probably the most lily white vanilla couple at the resort. In our trip report, we are happy to describe that Temptation is a manageably exciting place even when you don't get wasted, stay out until all hours or partake in multiple partners.

First is the obligatory shout outs. While weren't on site long enough to make strong friendships, we have to say that the people we met were amazingly friendly and supportive. Specific shout outs to Amber (fireball), Mr and Mrs TFlexxin, Dirty Santa and Mrs. Santa, Boston and DFW, and our Irish newlyweds. You guys really got the party going.

Logistics- Keeping in mind that this report is aimed at newbies I want to cover a couple specifics. Tip #1- When planning a long journey, you can often get the best bang for the buck by having a connecting flight instead of a non-stop. This was especially true for us as we were using skymiles (thanks American). By taking the connecting flight we only used half as many points. And if you are taking a connection, see if you can add another exotic location to your trip. In our case we were able to get a 20 hour layover in Miami. We got a nice hotel on South Beach, enjoyed some beach and pool time and a great dinner at Gloria Estefan's restaurant Larios with Mojitos, Ceviche and plantains.

Our flight left Miami around 7 am and we were in Cancun airport by 8 am. And with the help of USA Transfers (more on them in a minute), we were at the resort by 9 am. Tip #2- If you are arriving early, plan ahead. Wear or bring your beach attire (which should be just bottoms) and your sunscreen. When you check in, the staff will take your bags, give you wrist band and head for the pool. In our case, we went for some breakfast and then headed to the cabanas by the beach to ease into things. They have great shaded mattresses that make a great homebase when you don't have a room yet.

Tip #3- Definitely use USA Transfers when getting to and from the resort. We were only there for a very short trip so every minute mattered. When you get through customs, walk in a straight line to the front of the building. Keep your eyes down and walk with a purpose because every salesperson in the world will approach you and they can sense weakness. We actually kept our eyes down too long because we actually walked right past the USA Transfers team inside the building but easily found their kiosk in the shuttle parking directly in front near parking spot 31. They caught up to us and got us on our way. Also they picked us up exactly 3 hours before our departure without needing a call. It was very comforting to know this part of the journey worked out. The reason we stressed is that we did not print our emails and bring them and thus did not have the info readily available. While we were a bit stressed about that, they came through without an issue.

Tip #4 - When you arrive, you will be directed to a tour guide from RCI timeshares. I am sure they are nice people and reports from other guests are that they are extremely good at there job. However, it is your vacation. Be firm but polite and they can be dispatched in just a few minutes with a primer on the dinner, entertainment and pool offerings. We spent less than 5 minutes with ours and walked away still being friends. BTW, if you are here reading reviews and such, you will walk in with all the info you need and everything else is on the map and brochure of times.

Tip #5- Packing for the trip comes with a lot of unknowns. You will find a great packing list in the Stickies which we used. A couple variances for us: Bubba mugs are highly recommended by others on this forum, however ours never left our bag. There are tons of bars and even on a busy weekend, we never waited even a second for a drink. In fact, we were often offered another even before we finished the last. I would prefer a fresh drink more frequently. If the sexy pool bar looks busy, just walk into the buffet a few steps away and an empty bar awaits. Also, sunscreen is an absolute necessity. Our Mr. Temptation had a brutal sunburn. The sun is seriously strong (especially for pasty white guys). I had the wife apply mine and due to a serious road rash injury, I had band aids on my shoulder the first day. On the one inch strip around the bandaids, she shied away from adding sunscreen. It left the oddest sunburn lines. Buy the strongest SPF you can get.

The Resort- On to the good stuff-

We spent our first morning at the beach area. It is pretty narrow but it is a serviceable beach. First thing in the morning, they dredge sand up off the bottom to build up the beach. This leaves the surf a milky color until a few hours later. Once it disperses, it becomes clear and green. It is very much a public beach which means you will have people crossing and some young lookiloos trying to get an eyeful. In fact, one tour operator marched a wide-eyed group of families with children by to get to their cruise. It was hysterical, a combination of kids wondering if they were allowed to look, dads trying to look without being caught and some scornful old people. Despite this, there were plenty of boobs out. As I mentioned before, they have some great cabanas, but also hammocks, loungers and some cushioned chairs. The tattoo artist is also there if that or piercings are your game.

The resort offers a pretty wide array of water sports for free including Hobie cats, kayaks, paddle boards and the like. They also offer scuba lessons.

Moving on to the pools- If you have read this far down, you already know there are three. However, you may not know that the other two are empty. The quite pool never had more than 3 couples in it. It has plunge spas like the sexy pool and a swim up bar. It is really a waste. Perhaps it needs to be the Super Sexy Pool instead? The sports pool is where they do scuba lessons and naked volleyball. Other than that, it sits perfectly empty most of the time. It is not private enough for naughty business and not busy enough to have a party. And the bar is to far away and there are no chairs there.

The sexy pool is exactly as advertised. It was at least 75% topless. The contests were fun and naughty. Be careful about volunteering for anything in Cancun. This is especially true at Temptation. You will be slightly embarrassed and definitely be asked to do more regardless. The more you do, the more they will ask. So therefore dive in deep and put on a show.

Chairs- let's talk about it openly. Chair saving happens. Not just at the pool but at the nightclub and the buffet. Get over it early and decide if you want to be one of those people. In fairness, the chairs are pretty well used through the day and people need a homebase to put their stuff. Perhaps a set of kubbies could ease the strain a bit for those of us that don't get a chair. We just borrowed space wherever to put our stuff. It was fine.

The Room- After spending some time at the sexy pool, we finally got our room. The room is clean, modern and features a balcony. Ours had an ocean view despite not ordering it. All we had to sacrifice was quiet as we opted for a room next to Paty O's. The noise is real and the earplugs only dull it a bit. Being that we never really partied late, we would probably opt for something on the quiet side. There was a mild mildewy smell and late in the day the air couldn't keep up. So sleep was a bit clammy and warm. Other than that, it has a bed and big shower. What more do you need.

The Sensual Massage- I am not going to beat around the bush (pun intended). Just like volunteering at sexy pool, these folks are willing to go as far as you and you partner will allow. It is your experience so be clear about you personal limitations through body language and vocally if necessary. However, if you are open to it, it can be an amazing experience. Clara and Alex were excellent and having a male and female masseuse was good. There are some other descriptions out there so sorry if we are redundant for you as I am sure that much of it is the same for everyone. First, they have you get into just a robe and sandals. After introductions, they give you a moment to get naked and underneath a sheet. This seems completely unnecessary as the first thing they do is take off the sheet, but ever so slowly. The massage is more of an erotic rubbing starting on your back. My favorite little things included the feathery tissue for a light touch, some sensual hand holding (not kidding), and nuzzling of the face and neck. After turning over, no pretense was made of where we were heading with this. I think the smile on my face and the shock on my wife's face said all signs are green but unlike some of the other reports, it was me who was asked to stand up after a bit to apply a six handed massage with no limits. Out of respect for my wife, I will leave the details of what happened next private but let's just say that they are their to support you in any way possible. If you don't try this at least once, you are absolutely missing out.

Restaurants- We found the food to be great. We had the opportunity to take lunch and dinners at every restaurant besides the Asian Wok. Of course there are some up sells available. We ignored them as what was offered was really good. Reservations, while recommended are not altogether necessary.You just need to be flexible and eat at the shoulder hours. We got into Il Piacere right way by going shortly after they opened. They will also assign you a late reservation if you come later. It really is no big deal.

Boobs Cruise- GO. No I mean it Go. The team is great and really makes it a party atmosphere. From moment one, all tops were off. By the end, a third of the boat was naked. We went on the April 3 cruise with great group. Unfortunately, it was pretty rainy that morning and a bunch of people bailed. Chino kept promising the sun would come out in 10 minutes (everything happens in 10 minutes). Eventually, he would be proved right. For those of you who were with us, we were the couple celebrating 24 years and CJ also won the prize for another category. Thank you all for your well wishing. Highlights- Snorkling in the azure blue (be warned, it is a workout), lunch at Isla Majuera (anything goes), skinny dipping, AIWC (anywhere was fair game) and many acts of public debauchery that made me blush at times. It was great innocent fun but definitely made the trip.

Premier membership- For those wondering if it would be worth it, we didn't see it. Our room was about as good, the line at the premier bar was the only one at the resort, the few additions food items didn't seem that great and I want a boat full of people and not an empty yacht.

Theme nights- They are subject of much discussion. They seem far less important to the people who are there. We spent a lot of time planning. Our only real success was bringing all the Hawaiian leis on the Boobs Cruise (your welcome). We built costumes for ABC but with the switch to anything goes, we found ourselves the only couple in ridiculous dress for like 20 minutes. We left when the room was filled with 100 straight people. I am sure you all picked up the slack after we left, but disappointed.

Summary- We were there only 2 days (yep lots to do in 2 days.). A week would probably feel right with trips to the ruins and a ride around Isla Majuera. We highly recommend it. Although to be honest, as an SPG member, we may do free nights there and a couple day passes and the Boobs Cruise next time. We will let you all know when that is.

Jon & CJ

 

Awesome report ,,,,,,for 2 days

 

seriously!!! wow! amazing report for such a short trip.

7 days is good, 10 is the most. 2 weeks is too much for me.

hope your next trip is longer!!

 

Thanks for the info

 

We definitely agreed once we got home that we should have stayed longer. It is freezing here and the trees have no leaves. Perhaps we go back next week?

 

Great report. Thanks for sharing

 

Two days, sounds like you got a taste of the fun. Thank you.

 

Best 2 day trip report I've read, hell it's better than most week+ trip reports. Well done and glad you had an amazing time

 

Great trip report!!

 

Great trip report. You sure packed a lot into those 2 days.