Let me preface by saying, Gar is writing this. Come to think of it, Gar writes most everything. But, Lisa has the boobs. And I have the questions. For most of my life, I've been socially awkward. It may not seem like much now, but wait until I get to my question(s). I fidget when I get around people. I'm afraid I'm doing something wrong and so then I start thinking, "Can they tell I'm nervous? Am I fidgeting too much? Should I be talking more? Perhaps I shouldn't have said that?" And on and on and on. It's a nightmare, but I get by. Recently, I've started getting better. I sometimes embarrass myself, but the tequila gives me a 'who cares' attitude. I blame it on Lisa (the getting better part). The 'who cares' attitude is definitely Don Julio's fault. Lisa is a hugger. She hugs people she barely knows because she can. She's a buxom woman. Buxom women seem to get away with anything involving minimizing the melon proximity. I'm not a hugger. I'm afraid I'll get in trouble. I'm encroaching on their space without asking. I'm doing it wrong. It's too soon, etc. etc. But, then one time someone told me that I seemed like an egotistical asshole. My social awkwardness immediately started running thru scenarios where I may come across as an egotistical asshole. I decided it's because I stand to the side while Lisa hugs everyone. Remember, she's a buxom woman. I'm a nerdy man. And I have almost no idea how to behave in friendly situations. Therefore, I've decided to start hugging. I'm doing better. The other day I hugged my real estate agent. I felt it was an important test because she's a very attractive woman and you're supposed to do something every day that scares the living shit out of you. The hug went well. It was one of those friendly side hugs around the shoulder. I still haven't mastered the full on frontal hug that Lisa gets away with, but by god, I'm trying. Now for the questions. You can probably just skip to this part if you want. Is it more appropriate for the guy to initiate the hug or the gal? What are the signs that hugging is now appropriate behavior? When you are at TTR and there are bare breasts involved is the hug still acceptable under normal circumstances or do you have to stand back and offer a friendly wave or do the side hug or something? I mean, I'm all for the full frontal bare hug (see what I did there), but I'm not sure it's often acceptable. Or perhaps it's just offensive.
GOOD FOR YOU! Half the battle is identifying something you would like to improve upon and then finding the will and the way to do so. I think you have taken great steps. Sure it can't be easy. Answering your questions from my perspective... 1. In this day and age no different. Equality right? Either can initiate. 2. In a social setting like a party or bar or TTR hugging is always appropriate in my opinion. In a work setting, including a work dinner then I would always lean hand shake first. Unless the other party initiates then of course return the hug like it is no big deal. After all the goal is for everyone to be comfortable. As for being uncomfortable hugging even in a social setting I think of it as hey worse case scenario I am thought of as a friendly guy. Not so bad. 3. Hmmm. We never behave any differently at TTR. Social setting equals hug. After a little while at Ttr you actually don't even realize everyone is topless. Just becomes second nature. But I would say hug away. Now of course if someone first puts their hand out then return the shake as that may be their comfort level and they have made it clear by putting their hand out. Now of course you can use that approach too. If you are feeling uncomfortable then put that hand out there to ease the tension. No one would be upset with a hand shake if that is your comfort level when someone is topless. And it definitely wouldn't be taken as unfriendly. Sorry long answer. But interesting question. Thanks.
I love hugging It releases feel good chemicals in your body BTW Some people are good at it ( Monique ) It s nothing really sexual BTW (it can be too,lol ) For first business encounters I think it would be awkward and ''slightly inappropriate'' friends introducing friends fine go for it in the right environment. lol re Breasts,,,,,,,arrive at TTR, and within 90 seconds get hugged by 3 topples women,, I love TTR.,,, again good friend BTW , if you see Delicious prepare to be sparkled
I agree with Kyle but also be prepared, there will be many different nationalities there and kisses are included with most. In Mexico it's one kiss on the cheek, Italy 2, Holland 3 etc...
Can we start a TTR National Hugging Day Every Week so everyone can have a go!!! Say on a Wednesday mid week is Extra Hugging Day lol Yes to big front hugs from us Brits ;-)
Man, How I relate to your post. I too have been pretty socially awkward my whole life. You would think after going to TTR so many times and then adding trips to Desire I would grow out of it. I have gotten better, but still find myself in panic mode when I'm in a conversation and run out of things to say. I have been told many people perceive me as a egotistical asshole as well. I'm really not, just nervous talking to new people. My wife is very social but because English is her 2nd language. She tends to avoid getting involved in English conversation with folks, but watch out if you speak Spanish. That leaves me to carry on most conversations. Not a good combination for being social, but we are trying. I'm thankful for Tequila.
I'm a hugger and so is my husband ...but being new to the whole lifestyle and TTR I too find times when I feel socially awkward...not sure what to say or do....and I'm a very social person normally...its just a matter of finding my comfort zone and getting over being self conscious when topless..and getting over the fact that women are ok with me hugging their husbands topless...I prefer for men to initiate the hug than me but I am trying to overcome that as well. Thanks for sharing your story...its very comforting knowing that I'm not alone and good for you for starting the conversation....
