A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" He just ate the cue ball off my pool table--whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first.
A couple of years ago we watched as the monkey came around the sexy pool with the handlers and a young couple was going to get their pictures taken. The monkey climbed up on the guys shoulder, grabbed his nose and back of the head and started screwing the guy ear. After two or three strokes and before the guy realized what was happening, the monkey pulled out and shot a load across the guys chest. I think the guy got the photos for free. So just beware, if it is the same monkey, he does last long.
I think you can tell when an animal is mistreated and unhappy, there's plenty of people who should'nt be allowed to keep any animals. The biggest idiots are tourists who go and treat or harrass wild animals for a photo, and get bitten or chased, then the animal gets shot. If the little monkey is a happy chap and loved, you can tell by the way he acts and how his owner is with him, then I don't mind. I have a bigger problem with the Grand National. And I adore monkeys and snakes.
A monkey is a mammal. It is a primate. It is a small furry creature that has a tail, opposing thumbs and can walk upright. They are most often found in trees unless they have been put into involuntary servitude. This is done by putting a collar and leash on the monkey and then parading the monkey around Temptation allowing the monkey to sit on the shoulders of guests while photos are taken. The monkey does not naturally have this behavior, it must be coerced into this pattern through "training". In exchange, the monkey gets to eat. The second paragraph was for GoGoBlanco's benefit.
get over it ,, it,s a freaken monkey that gets to spend his days around the sexy pool ... I say ,, as I,m eating my hamburger that was made from a cow/bull that never saw the daylight of day.
well, I will be saying hello to the little monkey if he's about, if not I'll be looking for the snake:icon_eek:
