Im a single guy and august will be my 4th trip. I go to TTR to have a great time let looooose, meet awesome people from around the world and just enjoy life. I DONT go to TTR to pick up and hit on every women there. Yes I luv the sites but hay im not that guy who is going to cause troubles and be the cause of that fight later. Or ruin my trip as didn't have that chat. If someone says suck cream of my tits its most likely its someone ive been talking to a lot and met the SO and we are all cool. I was approached my 1st year there by a couple married since school and this was there 1st time there and was a eye opener for them. A group of us were playing ( have you ever ) and they hadn't done much. Later he came and asked do I want to fuck my wife I was yeah. Would u like to join us. I was very clear as long as both of you are comfortable with this otherwise im not going to be the guy that brock up a lifetime marriage. I don't need that on my conscious No Thanks So have that Chat.
We had the talk prior to our first trip, and still ended up having one of the biggest rows of our relationship around day 3. One tip I learnt from that experience is if you're solo for a while, ALWAYS make sure your SO knows where you are at all times. If you wander off to another part of the resort, make sure they know where you're going and go find them and tell them if you're moving to another place! We've not had an issue since then, but yeah, the conversation before you go is important, and make sure it covers any eventuality - don't assume it'll be ok, and don't leave it until you're actually at the resort to discuss boundaries. Have the discussion sober and free of the 'I'm on holiday' feeling. Might be fun to discuss boundaries on the plane on your way there though...freak out the passengers around you!!
I would definitely recommend every couple have this conversation. We've been in the lifestyle for several years so no need for a special convo just for this trip. But for those of you who don't have pre-standing agreements it is very important that you discuss these things beforehand.
It seems to me that if you've been together anytime at all.............. that you ought to know "the rules" pretty darn well.........making "the talk" unnecessary............unless you prescribe to the notion of "what happens in Cancun stays in Cancun!" Who has "vacation rules" that are diametrically opposed to the "at home rules?"
Actually, we like to have the talk quite often, even though it's not necessary for "rules" purposes. We do it because it's hot! "Let me show you what I'm going to be doing next week" makes for some pretty exciting foreplay!
I disagree. At home you don't have all the alcohol, sun, water, nudity and sexual vibe in the air. People that are normally sedate can grow fangs very quickly in that environment and do things they wouldn't normally do. So "the talk" becomes imperative to help keep one's wits about them and not imperil their relationship. No vacation fling or fun is worth that and if it is the relationship wasn't worth it. Jealousy and insecurity are very destructive forces. And revisiting the talk while at TTR can prove enlightening as well. It does lower one's inhibitions so something that was off the table before might just be fair game but without talking neither of you know what the other is thinking or feeling. It can go the opposite way too.
I think many people go to TTR for the adult/ sexy environment they can't get at home or anywhere else. Many people, especially newbies, know that this environment might get them to do things that are a little out of their "normal" comfort zone at home. When we first went to TTR we fully understood that many women were going to be topless at the pool, and that lingerie night was a big event- all creating that atmosphere that we were looking for to mix things up a little bit. But we weren't sure we had the confidence to "let the girls out", or run around in front of total strangers in stuff normally reserved for our bedroom. Those things are diametrically opposed to the long standards in our 11 year marriage. So, we had "the conversation" before we even booked. If it made either one of us uncomfortable, then we agreed the other person wasn't going to be disappointed if we, as a couple, pulled the reigns back. But we also agreed to push our limits for the sake of having a great time and trying new things. After we got there, the atmosphere and the friendships we formed made both of us completely comfortable with stepping outside of our comfort zones and doing those things- and we constantly communicated to reassure each other that we were okay with it. When we went on the Boobs Cruise, we did things we NEVER would do at home, and haven't since. (and they're quite vanilla to many people standards...) We had the talk a couple of times down there because we saw that we were pushing our limits more and more, and we communicated hard limits that we didn't feel the need to communicate prior to our visit there. But those things are some of the greatest memories of our vacation- and the reason we are HOOKED. To look back and say, " Can you believe we did that shit!?" still brings grins to our faces. Additionally, those hard limits give us more wiggle room to do exhilarating things that we didn't do on our last trip. If they happen, great- if not, nothing lost. What ever happens, happens. At least we know where we stand... Good, frequent communication is essential in any healthy relationship.
