second timers June 5-9 trip report (VERY long report)

Fantastic!
I will be holding you to producing the conclusion tomorrow!

~Shawna

 

Best TR I've read.

Tequila Volleyball was naked when we were there in April, the rule being if you were responsible for the ball going on the deck you had to retrieve it, clothed or not. Wonder if they changed it. On the day we watched Nathan was on the losing team, the losing team ends up lying on the deck and has the water and ice from the coolers dumped on them, Nathan was naked but tucked mangina style.

 

This was merely listed on the board as "tequila volleyball" or maybe it was "wild tequila volleyball". If I'm not mistaken I have seen "naked tequila volleyball" listed before, different games and rules? The end result is the same in this version, loser line up and lay on the deck and get the cooler of ice and water pored over them.

 

We been watching the weather all day and it allowed us to go with the beach option on the lobster dinner, they do it in a nice little gazebo on the quiet pool side. The food was pretty good but not great, however the view was amazing. There were several of the pirate/party ships out fully decked out in lights drifting across the water, and it there was a light breeze blowing, it was absolutely perfect weather. We had a couple of glasses of wine to keep the party going and sat out and enjoyed our evening for a good while.

A little backstory, on our last trip to Temptations we also had a Sunday departure, but due to the fact we had a 2 hour drive from the Atlanta airport we elected to take an early (like 9-10 am?) flight out of Cancun. We also had some friends down there at the same time (another resort...wtf?) and my wife wanted to hang with them some so we spent one day at their resort...WHICH TOTALLY SUCKED. Kids. Everywhere. So imagine our distress when we arrive back at our resort after a long day and dinner at another resort only to see the pool party RAGING.

We were exhausted from dodging cannonballs all day long, plus fairly drunk, so we watched the insanity from the deck of the pool for about 15 minutes and slunk off to bed knowing we had to get up at like 5 for the flight. The theory here was you get home at a reasonable hour so you aren't a zombie monday morning ya know? WELL THAT IS LAME. I'm at work 200 days a year, they can have a zombie from time to time. So this time we schedule our flight for 145pm so we can spend our last nite getting drunk instead of going to bed early like pussies.

To all of you who have been before, the pool party used to be in the sexy pool, in the corner nearest the quiet pool. They would put out a runway to the little island there near the bar and have dancers. Then people would hop in the pool, others would dance on the island and runway, and people just went totally bonkers. I had square cut trunks for the occasion, we were ready to really go. AND....... they have changed the party layout. Totally.

Now the pool party is at the sports pool (score one point for us, the sports pool is literally 20 feet from our room, i can make that walk of shame in any amount of drunken stuporness!) with a vegas style impersonators show beforehand. What do I care, a show is a show I say. Well I think reflecting it is probably the result of the sports pool being pretty large, but the turnout wasn't great. Again though we stayed on teh side of the sports pool next to Margaritas because it was CLOSEST TO THE BAR. Yeah baby! We see a couple with whom we have been chatting and grab a table with them, and proceed to start drinking wet pussy shots. We have maybe 3 in the time leading up to the show and off we go. Within .0004 seconds of realizing what we were going to see I tell my wife "I bet you 5000 bucks they have a Michael Jackson impersonator". Well first we got Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and Christina, with the requisite MJ cleanup. Solid show, not bad at all actually.

At this point my wife and I have realized that the pool party is not going to live up to what we missed last year. :angrymad: This however leaves me undaunted, because if the party isn't coming to you then one has to take the party to everyone else no?? The show ends and they open up the dance floor, meanwhile I am taking every opportunity to salsa dance with the waitress and generally cause chaos. New to the scene tonite is an incredibly gay fellow from New Mexico, who is dancing in the most dramatically gay way possible, and I mean that as a compliment. With little else to do, I of course proceed to go out and dance in the most dramatically gay way I can to match, rather less fantastically. One of the highlights of the trip is when he tells me and my wife, "people see me dance and they make assumptions about me, its silly". He says this with the most exagerrated lisp I have ever heard, it was classic.

At this point in time the Scots have arrived, and we are continuing to drink heavily. Purple shit they are ordering me. :ernaehrung015: They are dancing, I am continuing to dance both on the pool deck and the stage, all is well with the world. This continues for about 2 hours. As the party enters its last half hour, one of the Scots has been chatting with our friend from New Mexico and now cannot shake him, as he has taken a shine to him. Rather than have one of the girls or his friends bail him out we all strand him and watch him try to weasel out of the gents advances, it was great. Very few people are in the pool (BUMMER) BUT this bothers me again not at all. So I strip down to the old deisel square trunks and hit the pool. Refreshed I then hop out and begin to dance around gleefully while the Scots are laughing their asses off.

Eventually the party ends and we head over to Paty O's where there are perhaps (literally) 20 people. We have a drink, then grab a burger and crash. I guess it may be that people really hit the clubs (daddy O and Paloma to elevate that night) on Saturdays or maybe people are running out of steam but by 230ish Paddy O was a ghost town. We wake up the next morning and hit breakfast, where while standing in omlette line a guy asks me if I work for the resort. He apparently thought I was a plant, then tells me I should apply for a job as one of the entertainment staff. It is about this time that I realize I must have been more drunk than previously imagined last nite.:clappyinghappy:

All told a fantastic trip. Big props to Paloma, Sarah, Manuel and Nathan. These guys are great. How they line up for this job day in and day out I have no idea. Big ups to the group of people who vacationed while we were there, we personally had no issues with anyone. Staff of the hotel was amazing as always. Big ups to my wife for not being a prude and for loving this place like I do.

Thumbs down to having to leave, and the bug that hit some guests. Suck!

Many people have asked if they met us and why we don't have profile pics. This might sound odd but we (I) feel like having a picture and having people recognize you means you are somewhat obligated to then spend the whole trip with said people, which isn't my style. My wife and I prefer to do largely a solo thing but interacting with tons of people. I would walk around the sexy pool and see 10-12 couples we had met, and stop to talk to all of them. This works better for me than hanging all day with 4-6 other people, I just kind of like to see what manner of people the universe blows my way every day!

 

Awesome report! :clappyinghappy:

 

Thanks for the great report! I was wondering did you notice a lot of people getting sick? Some of the threads on hear have me worried.

 

I noticed you said some, is that a large amount, or just a few.

 

I personally did not notice a greater percentage than normal (we have been to various resorts in Mexico 5 times, including the Excellence which is 5 stars) of sick people. No matter which resort you go to there are always those who drink/sun to much, as well as those who get bugs due to food. The kind of sickness which others have alluded to sounded like more than typical travellers diarhhea to me.

I would not worry, just avoid uncooked vegetables and fruit (especially salads!!) and take some probiotics for 10 days before you leave. More importantly leave you worries behind and enjoy your trip!

 

Thank you so much for that in depth TR. You shared a lot. Good Job!!! Glad you guys had a great time overall.!!!

 

Absolutely Awesome report!!! I can't wait to finally get here!!!