Hi, Just wondering how many of us are parents of young childrens? By young I mean that they cannot care for themself at home while your are away at TTR (or elsewhere). Our kids are 7 and 4 and obviously, we have to find a relative to take care of them when we do a "adult only trip" (witch we did twice). To the peolple in our situation, how do you handle this ? Do you leave your kids to relatives ? How do they (relaltives and kids) reacts ? We cannot help ourselves but to feel pretty guilty when we do this. And, in fact, it is very selffish isn't it ? That is pretty much why we never have left for TTR for more than a short 4 day trip. But let's say we would like to stay longer this year, since price are just about the same for 4 days than for 7, would that be too much ? We would also like to hear from childless couples on this cause we've heard a lot of people teling us that they would never take a vacation while leaving their kids behind. Like they say, "You have kids to take care of them, not to leave them behind..". That argument always touch us a lot. Btw, we also do take a familly vacation every summer. (Sorry about our language, but english is not our first language!)
well, Ill be the first to post here. if you have family member that love your kids and would look after them as you would there is no reason to not have some time with your spouse on a adult vacation. its time that will only make you stronger as a couple and as parents. there is no shame in it if your kids have a safe place and there is no guilt required. alone time is important as a couple. I say dotn listen to anyone that would make you feel guilty..Just because another person my not feel comfortable does not mean it wrong. just my 2 cents!
Overall it probably helps kids if mom and dad go away for a few days or a week. They get to learn to live with different rules/authority figures. I remember my mom and dad going away and staying at the grandparents place. It's different and a bit of an adventure at the same time. Not to mention lots of kids get sent off to camp for days or weeks during the summer. Granted I am a single guy who has never had kids but it doesn't seem to me that you can always keep them home. Besides they might be more appreciative of you when you get home if grandma doesn't let them play the video games like they may want to lol!
The alternative is, you do what we did and don't discover TTR until the kid's are all grown up, left home and have kids of their own (all those wasted years going to "ordinary" resorts!) :aktion060: :daisy:
Alone time for the grownups is a necessity of life. We take 2 trips each summer. One for us and one as a family. Plus it gives the kiddo bonding time with grandma and grandpa without us around.
We have 3 girls, ages 19 months, 6yrs & 7 yrs and while I'll miss them incredibly when we go away, we know that mommy & daddy only vacations are very necessary! It's been 3 yrs since we've had one and long overdue! Older Kids are left with their other parents, as we're a blended family and the baby is cared for by her paternal grandparents. We take ease knowing all are well looked after and loved while we are gone, and they appreciate the rested and relaxed parents that return to them. Every good parent needs a private vacation in my opinion, to get away from all the stress that work, life and being a parent brings! You will miss them, but enjoy yourself cause the week goes by quick!
One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was to leave me with my grandparents when they travelled. Because I got to spend uninterrupted time with them, I have a much closer relationship with my grandparents even today than many people get to enjoy. Now, my parents ask me to let them have my kids for long weekends, etc. so they can develop that kind of relationship, too. It's not always just dumping your kids with a relative, it can also be giving your kids an opportunity to develop a special relationship with that part of your family.
Childless/child-free couple here, so take it for what it's worth. My opinion is that one of the most important things parents can do for their kids is show them what a healthy loving relationship looks like, and I think that includes showing them that an adult relationship is strengthened by time alone together. Not to mention I'm sure your kids notice a better connection between the two of you when you get back from your vacation, and that's great for kids to see. Again, I'm only speaking as a former kid, not as a parent. But I say drop 'em off, miss them like crazy, but have a blast! They'll remember and treasure the time with grandma and grandpa (or whoever) for the rest of their lives too!
here is our litle break down of what we feel on the matter... - As a parent, you are ALWAYS around and caring for your kids. Even when you are away on vacation you are thinking of them and they of you. - When you leave them for any amount of time, if they are loved you aren't pawning them off you are developing social skills and nuturing their "inter-family" relations further. - If you concentrate on your kids ALL THE TIME, you forget why it is you fell in love with each other and base your relationships off of the kids from then on. Take the time to remember and celebrate your love. - Absence makes the heart grow fonder.... All year you dwell on the kids. Take time for yourselves and they will also miss you and appreciate you that much more when you are back. In the end there is no magic answer as to what is and is not a right answer to the dilema. You have to know what feels right for your family dynamic. BTW, we have 3 kids(now 15, 12, 7) and take our family vacations every year, and have just now started taking adventurous adult trips every year, but have take mini(5 days) locally for the past 7yrs.
We have a two and a four-year old right now, and we have been to Temptation three times in the past year and a half. One of those trips was over our daughter's 1st birthday at the time. We always go for at least 6 nights and leave our kids with one of the grandparents. And actually both sides of grandparents fight over who gets to watch the kids the next time, so we figure it's a win-win situation for everyone involved. There is no reason whatsoever to feel guilty about wanting some alone time with your spouse, you deserve it! :icon_biggrin:
