Thursday – We couldn’t believe the trip was finally here! We landed and then waited for our friends to show up…2 six-packs later, we easily found our rep from USA Transfers and he got us onto our van and within 30 minutes, we were checking in. Along the way, the driver pointed out everything…I mean everything…”There’s another OXXO…” We arrived at a bad time for food. The only option really Margaritas and their menu was limited. We tried the pizza and regretted it. We tried to order chips and salsa with guac and were told we could only order from the short menu. But our waited came back a few minutes later with chips, salsa and guac. Very appreciated. Our room was ready but our friends’ was not. By the way, room 1118 smelled horrible. We went back and asked to change and were told they were full and we could check back the next day at 11 am. Our friends’ room was finally ready so we all got ready for lingerie Night but not before we tested out the Jacuzzi. It worked but Kati had the privacy screen down so I turned on the room lights to at least provide silhouettes. Eventually opened the screen before on to the 2nd act. Some random guy wanders over and asks if we know where the bathrooms are. I think he just wanted to see what I was concentrating so hard on… Anyhoo, the girls ended up looking damn sexy in their outfits and the boys looked stupid in their tube socks and flip flops. We quickly put on boxers because of our high levels of modesty. We went to Nice Shoes to find it wasn’t open yet so went and had a drink or actually several drinks and shots at the Quiet Pool bar. Can’t remember his name, but that guy can mix. We then headed to Nice Shoes once we say the line go in. Within 2 minutes, my boxers were off and my tube sock was readjusted. Tom quickly followed suit. The girls informed us that when the party moved to Paty O’s, we were not allowed to wear our boxers, so we didn’t. "Hung out" there with lots of people pointing and laughing. About the 38th time a strange girl grabbed my ass, I was back in boxers. Bedtime. Friday – Proceeded to get shitfaced. We also got moved to 1109 which smelled much better and which may or may not have had bed bugs. Met Glenn & Monique and apparently several other CCers around the Sexy Pool that I don’t remember meeting because, like I said, I was shitfaced. I head back to the room to get something or do something…don’t recall. But I recall slipping on the red rug and the next thing I recall is waking up in bed. Allegedly, at some point in those missing minutes, I completed my face plant, broke my nose, got knocked out, cut my forehead somehow on the flat floor and then Kati came in and said all she saw when she walked in was my feet sticking out from the other side of the bed. She came around and saw me laying there with my head bleeding. She woke me up, cleaned me up and got me into bed somehow. She’s strong as being married to this slob for 17 years would prove. Anyway, we missed White Night. I woke up later that night and hit the gift shop for some pretzels to snack on. Those were the best pretzels ever. Bedtime. Saturday – Those fucking birds! There must have been hundreds right outside our window squawking and jibber-jabbering at each other. They don’t understand English since they ignored my repeated shouts of “STFU!” Boobie cruise day. That cruise did not suck. Met some new friends on the roof of the boat and Kim introduced us as the tubesock twins. “Ohhhhh! We didn’t recognize you with so much clothing on.” We skipped the snorkeling since the snorkles were so short and the water was choppy. Didn’t feel like ingesting a lot of saltwater. So we ingested more Pink Pussies. The fish at lunch was awesome. Witnessed a few of the activities there but mostly just sat in the surf. Last ones off the boat for the port visit because it was announced you could stay on the boat and participate in an orgy. But everyone left so apparently the orgy was called off and we missed that announcement. So we went and got some ice cold beer and chilled in some little bar with an orgy of chips and guac. Back on the boat, next stop…skinny dipping. That might have been the best part of the cruise since the water was so refreshing. Back on the boat headed for home. One of us got lucky as Tom mounted the blowup doll from behind. Jump in the pool to cool off at the hotel and kept freaking drinking. Back to the room for private moments…this one did not have a privacy screen which was an improvement. Actually got some cheers from the Quiet Pool bar crowd. Ate at BellaVista. Turned in. Sunday – My face was still hurting so I self-medicated with margaritas. Sunday was a fun day. Pretty much just partied all day…broke the rule about intimate acts on the Sports Pool steps. Sara69 walked by and inquired if we were doing what she thought we were doing. LOL Then we moved over to the sexy pool and I need to pause here and apologize for offending anyone with our behavior on the side of the pool. Blame it on the alcohol… we didn’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable. But we had fun...obviously. Got ready for dinner. Kati dried her hair for the first time all trip. Ate at Margaritas. Then back to the Jacuzzi which we filled up to higher than the jets. We were sitting at opposite ends of the tub. I reached over and hit the button for the jets. A nanosecond later, Kati looks like she is getting hosed down by a firetruck. Turns out, we had one particularly strong jet and it took several attempts to turn it off using the button. So much for spending the time to do her hair…we laughed hysterically for about 30 minutes and then put on another show. This show was my personal favorite. bedtime. Monday – Woke up early, got some chairs on the beach and then took a nap spooning on one of the day beds during which, Kati jerks her head back into my nose which was starting to feel better. Hung in the Sexy Pool all morning. Late checkout at 1:00 pm cost us $10 and was worth every penny. TK-n-KK left at noon. We went up to the room and got packed, showered etc. and then realized we had run out of time and we had to leave right that minute. So we apologize to our new friends for not saying goodbye, but we were on a dead run for the airport. Leaving Mexico always sucks.
Yep, remember that one...by the swim up bar. Something ate us alive...besides us doing that to each other.
