Set of RULES while at TTR for yourself/ partner?

Do you draw up any rules for yourself, spouse/partner before going to TTR?

Must try this..... Not do this.... If this happens, then this....

Example:

Not sure if I read this on here, but a game I am thinking of following while at TTR is having his/ her day - alternating days.

Now i need to come up with clearer standards for the rules. But basically, when it is my day - what I want to do (ex:where to eat)/ try things together goes, no whining!
So if I see a fun contest.... guess who has to sign up?? HE does.

If it is his day and he says no bathing suit top while at the pool... then I will follow his rule! etc....

Any rules for you? Any rules you would like to set? Give me some ideas!!

 

With all the flirting that goes on, it is a good idea to talk about the boundaries of that so feelings don't get hurt. It could also be helpful to set up a word or phrase to say when one partner feels uncomfortable about something and the other might be oblivious. Agree on the word/phrase in advance, and also agree that there will be no questions asked or objections at that point - just take a break and go somewhere alone to talk about it. If your goal is to protect your relationship, this is very important - and would be very difficult to implement suddenly without some objection and public embarrassment.

One example of how this might work is that you both talk about how fun licking the whipped cream would be prior to the trip. However, once you get there and are with a group of people in the pool and one of you sees someone else lick whipped cream off the body of their significant other and suddenly feels very defensive and upset about that - and they didn't realize they would feel that way when they were just talking about it. At that point, the upset partner should say whatever the prior agreed upon word/phrase was to easily excuse themselves from the group without any weirdness, then maybe go back to the room and talk about the feelings, and maybe re-establish new boundaries that don't hurt feelings.

TTR can be fun and exciting, especially for couples who have never been anywhere like this before and want to push some sexual boundaries to enhance their relationship. However, talking about something and actually doing it are two very different things and sometimes people don't know how actually seeing something will make them feel until it happens. We need to respect our partner's feelings, even if we disagree or don't understand them. It can lead to real problems later if this is left to fester, or if the partner with the problem buries it inside for too long.

/end therapy session

 

Great reply, thanks!!

I like the idea of creating a secret word/ phrase that only the two of you know.
Other than rules of a sexual nature, any other fun rules/ games you guys set in place?

 

agree

Very well said! Totally in agreement !

 

Bad examples of a safety phrase would be "Who's up for some more body shots?" or "Nice shoes."

 

LOL. That was funny

 

We don't set rules at all. I don't think there is a need for rules. Glenn knows damm well when I am drunk that I am still the same trusting girl. I am not sure if the reason you think you need rules is because of the swinger thing and possible approaches. If it is and someone approaches you with an offer then simple say we have to discuss this as a couple and pull yourselves away from the situation and decide if it works for both of you. Make the decision that works for both of you. Give yourself the gift of a vacation that is without rules or judgement.

Picking restaurants, going topless should not require any rules.

 

Have to agree..we don't set rules either..we know eachother well enough and talk about stuff enough to know what we both enjoy and don't enjoy..and pretty well at Temptations anything goes!! LOL

 

Rules, what are those?

 

You can talk all you want about this & that and all the what if's too, but non of those things you discussed will happen because you discussed it. It's called "Murphys Law". On the other hand everything you didn't discuss will happen of course. You 2 may or may not be apart of it but yes it will happen at Temptations. Discuss pretty much all you want so that you two are as open minded as possible before going and know what each other wishes to gain from the experience.

We have our own little secret between the 2 of us for when we are having fun and when something is becoming or has become too much for the other to enjoy also. Its that easy, could be a nood, a wink, a secret word or phrase that isnt in your everyday vocab, a certain way you hold hands etc etc etc. If your looking to swing with another couple or a single guy or girl, you'll know it when the time comes. If your not looking to swing and just have fun with others, ie the whip cream at the pool, thats all it is, just fun and a easy way to meet people, the whip cream is just a excuse to introduce yourself lol. No harm done there, just don't let anyone be pushy, and remember "No Thanks" means exactly that, don't ask a 2nd time!

Last thing to remember, your going home with the person you love at the end of the day, if your jealous of what is happening, discuss it in private, talk to each other rather than letting your mind wonder and turn it into something it really isn't. Enjoy yourself, because as the saying goes at Temptations...."Nobody knows you, & nobody gives a shit"!