Gun Control Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in West Virginia, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence. Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.' Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud West Virginia drawl, pierced the quiet and said: 'Well, dumbass, stop clappin'!'
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA 1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 5. Weed. The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart: 50 Fahrenheit (10 C) Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens. 35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C) Italian Cars won't start Canadians drive with the windows down and still wear shorts and T-shirts. 32 Fahrenheit (0 C) American water freezes Canadians have the last cookout of the season 0 Fahrenheit (-17..9 C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians Girl Guides still sell cookies door-to-door. -60 Fahrenheit (-51 C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their earflaps. -109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C) Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. -173 Fahrenheit (-114 C) Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get a day off of work to go tobogganing. -459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "cold, eh?" -500 Fahrenheit (-295 C) Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup
Totally true up until -20C. Except we barbecue in the winter here too. Not alot but when we want steak.
Good Morning My fellow April Addicts.. Hope every one is doing great. I just did my random every other month or so thing and that is to go through the pics and videos from the recent trip again, just to smile and bring back some of the memories....
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not .
Something to think about while we're enjoying our TTR annual VacA!!! [ame="&sns=fb"]Wounded Warriors & President Bush (July 4th, 2011)‏ - YouTube Over 5000 years ago, Moses said 2 Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you 2 the Promised Land." When Welfare was introduced, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land." Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land 2 China...
