Exercising Together !!!

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by Deleted member 12579, Jan 5, 2011.

  1. Brewster

    Brewster I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    If you never lost another pound (which is pretty much impossible with what you are doing) working out would still be great for you and I am really proud of you and the effort you are putting into it.
     
  2. Brewster

    Brewster I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    Ah...my weakness, too. I'm sure I was a bear in a past life. Stock up before hibernating...lol
     
  3. Deleted member 12579

    Deleted member 12579 Guest

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  4. tere

    tere Guru Registered Member

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    Deb, it sounds like a visit to the dr. is a good idea. You probably know all this but exercise can help naturally boost testerone, help with insomnia and that lifting weights helps to maintain bone density that women tend to lose as hormone levels get messed up! I sleep so much better on the days I work out. Partygirl is right about the GYN..
    For me, I think it is a mix of hormones, major stress and winter.
     
  5. Deleted member 12579

    Deleted member 12579 Guest

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    awwww.. ;)
     
  6. halifaxdan

    halifaxdan I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    I bet if you look in the mirror you see a difference Kim. Might not be a huge difference YET but im sure its there. keep going
     
  7. Bonez

    Bonez Addict Registered Member

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    Her is an exhustive list of "other" ways to work off calories it is a cut and paste form a different site hopefully it is not too offensive!!


    How about sex to burn calories? Since there are so many variables, and you need a fifth form polynomial to solve, fill in the variables from the matrices below:

    The Act of Insertion
    If the man is ready (same vice-versa) 1/4 calories
    If the woman is not (same vice-versa) 274 calories

    Satisfying Partner (organ size)

    Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside.

    Normal size 22 calories
    Oversize 15 calories
    Tremendous 8 calories
    Teensy-weensy 163 calories

    Positions
    Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories
    Woman on top, man on bottom
    (Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.) 25 calories
    From the rear (Mysterious variation) 40 1/2 calories
    Standing: Both partners of equal height 18 calories
    Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man 90 calories
    While in traction
    (very useful during ski season) 124 calories

    Locations
    On a bar stool 20 calories
    Rear of a Honda Civic 38 calories
    In a phone booth, standing 14 calories
    In a phone booth, lying down 274 calories
    On an airliner, aisle seat 24 calories
    On an airliner, middle seat 42 calories
    On an airliner, window seat 30 calories
    On an airliner, in the lavatory 100 calories

    Possible Side Effects of Intercourse
    Bouncing 7 calories
    Sliding around 9 calories
    Serious Skidding 12 calories
    Full cartwheel 20 calories
    Whiplash 27 calories
    Knee burn 6 calories
    Chafed elbows 5 calories
    Chafed nose 11 calories

    Sex Related Noises
    Short gasps (per gasp) 3 calories
    Wheezing 5 calories
    Squeals 4 calories
    Ecstatic moaning 11 calories
    Low growling 8 calories
    Squishing 10 calories
    Shouting 16 calories
    Screaming 18 calories
    Urgent begging 22 calories
    Any short speech giving partner directions
    ("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.) 25 calories

    Approaching Orgasm
    Letting go 5.5 calories
    Controlling yourself 79 calories
    Digging nails into your partner's back 11 calories
    Trembling 15 calories
    Shaking 20 calories
    Shuddering 25 calories
    Trying to keep eyes open 33 calories

    Orgasm
    Real 27 calories
    Faked 160 calories

    Orgasmic Intensity Scale
    Expression didn't change 1/2 calorie
    Face turned purple 15 calories
    Orchestra swelled 6 calories
    Magical explosions 10 calories
    Blazing Sheets 25 calories
    Earth moved 30 calories
    Vesuvius erupted 47 calories
    You began moaning in Latin 60 calories

    Pulling Out
    After orgasm 1/4 calorie
    A few moments before orgasm 500 calories

    Multiple Orgasms

    For women:
    2 14 calories
    5 30 calories
    8 47 calories
    (Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship ,and ride a Moped.)
    For Men:
    2 21 calories
    3 39 calories
    4 57 calories
    (For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage.)

    Special Orgasms
    Clitoral. 15 calories
    Vaginal 21 calories
    Penile 21 calories
    Scrotile 15 calories
    Rectal 25 calories
    Oral
    (can also occur during an especially good meal) 30 calories

    Premature Ejaculation*
    During insertion 2 calories
    During intercourse
    (Approximately. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, whichever comes first.) 5 calories
    During foreplay 3 calories
    Immature ejaculation
    (Similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum.) 4 calories

    Consequences of Premature Ejaculation

    Even if you have a good heart, it takes much understanding not to feel like a victim when your partner climaxes after 3 sec's of intensive sex, especially if he immediately sits up to watch the football on tv.

    For Women
    Frustration 8 calories
    Anger 15 calories
    Violent mood swing 20 calories
    Surpressing rage 25 calories
    Not surpressing anger
    (In extreme cases, this can include cursing, nose tweaks, and gently massaging partner's head with a tire iron.) 65 calories
    For Men:
    Cursing 10 calories
    Apologising 3 calories
    Snivelling 5 calories
    Pleading for mercy 8 calories
    Begging for another chance
    (Note how unfair: Men never seem to mind if a woman has an orgasm after 3 seconds of sex.) 15 calories

    Possible Side Effects of Good Sex

    The first indication that sex was a positive experience will be a buzzing in the pelvic area and a clear complexion. You might also feel pleasantly light, as though you were dozing in a vat of cream cheese. If sex was really terrific, you feel dangerously drained, as though your body had been connected to a large milking machine for several days. Additional reactions include:

    Swooning 6 calories
    Palpitations 10 calories
    Shortness of breath 5 calories
    Perspiring 8 calories

    Possible Side Effects of Bad Sex
    A less-than-sunny desposition 1 calorie

    Recovering
    Un-entwining 3 calories
    Regaining motor control of pevis
    (After especially tiring sex, you may feel numb from below the waist to the opposite wall. The result will be an inability to walk [put one foot in front of the other], which will seriously impair your chances of going to the bathroom or getting some juice.) 7 calories
    Standing up 9 calories
    Getting some juice 11 calories

    Rolling Over and Going to Sleep

    After intercourse
    (Classic behavior for shiftiness men who believe they've done their job and are now entilted to a rest. This "rest" may include snoring.) 18 calories
    During intercourse
    (Women find this to be a subtle, yet direct way of suggesting dissatisfaction.) 32 calories
    During foreplay
    (Indicates either an advance case of fatigue or a serious lack of interest.) 12 calories
    Avoiding the wet spot 80 calories

    Trying Again
    If the woman is ready 5 calories
    If the man is not 156 calories

    Dreaming
    Regular dream 2 calories
    Wet Dream
    Add 5 calories if it occurs while in bed with your partner;
    Add 20 calories if your partner notices 16 calories
    Wet Trance
    (Usually occurs in the presence of a sensual hypnotist.) 20 calories

    Group Sex
    Introducing yourself 3 calories
    Overcoming shyness 8 calories
    Swapping partners, willingly 4 calories
    Swapping partners, unwillingly 62 calories
    Jealousy
    (Partner having more fun than you are) 16 calories
    Mixed doubles 26 calories
    Being nice to everyone 100 calories
    Anger
    (You suddenly realize that you're wanted for you body and not your mind. Difficult to cope with, especially if you have a Ph.D.) 10 calories
    Finding your clothes 5 calories

    Masturbation
    For pleasure only 6 calories
    For exercise, too 10 calories
    For relief from tension 12 calories
    To pass the time 7 calories
    To avoid overeating 16 calories
    To get in touch with inner self 10 calories
    To get in touch with outter self 10.5 calories
    To avoid insanity 24 calories
    To avoid spending money on a date
    (In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.) 9 calories
    Using your hand(s) 11 calories
    Using your finger(s) 9 calories
    Using tweezers 2 calories
    Using an inflatable doll 24 calories
    Using Any fruit or vegetable
    (Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley) 19 calories
    Using a vibrator, hand-operated 12 calories
    Using a vibrator, windup 9 calories
    Using a vibrator, electric 5 calories
    Using anything not mentioned here 50 calories
    In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket 2.5 calories
    In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat 78 calories
    In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat 3 calories

    Typical Sex-Related Fears
    Partner hates me for what I did 4 calories
    Partner hates me for what I didn't do 8 calories
    Forgetting the instructions in the sex manual 10 calories
    Climaxing too soon 5 calories
    Climaxing too late 6 calories
    Not climaxing 20 calories
    Partner thinks of me as a sex object 9 calories
    Partner doesn't think of me as a sex object 47 calories
    Partner will neglect to adminster last rites should I not recover from orgasm 88 calories

    Personal Fears
    Gigantic cellulite that shake and ripple during orgasm 6 calories
    Stretch marks that look like a plowed field 8 calories
    Penis envy 72 calories
    Body odor of a disgruntled yak 25 calories

    Getting Caught
    By partner's spouse 60 calories
    By your spouse 60.5 calories
    Trying to explain 165 calories
    Stuttering 28 calories
    Throwing up
    (Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed) 40 calories

    Almost Getting Caught
    Trying to remain calm 100 calories
    Fright (includes trembling) 66 calories
    Leaping out of bed 25 calories
    Getting dressed in one large motion 300 calories
    Thanking partner quickly 2 calories
    Jumping out of window
    add 5 calories if window wasn't open 15 calories
    Landing 1 calorie
    Running very fast 50 calories
     
  8. Cape Couple

    Cape Couple Regular Registered Member

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  9. Brewster

    Brewster I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    That was funny....

    How many calories for painting each other green then having sex in the stands watching the Rider's win the Grey Cup?
     
  10. Bonez

    Bonez Addict Registered Member

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    don't as they can't seem to close the deal!
     
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