Hmm I have a tazer gun, I always though it was to kill mosquitoes, didnt realize it had mulitple uses lol
[FONT=comic sans ms,sans-serif]Selling Peaches...(true story) :flash:[/FONT] A farmer from Gooberville was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?" She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?" He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye. Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?" The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye. Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?" He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying. She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?" Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted for Obama and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches...."
Getting Closer, I was talking to Keith (Dos Equis) on facebook last night, its getting to the point of where I booked last year, end of january beginning of february... Im hoping to book sooner rather then later, just waiting on finances.
Finally, a blond joke with some Canadian content.... As a North Bay trucker stops for a red light on Hwy.11, a blond catches up.. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his Truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the Window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl Catches up again. She jumps out of her car runs up and Knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blond says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are Losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and Continues down the street. At the third red light, the same Thing happens again. All out of breath, the blond gets out of her car, runs up, Knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.. Again she says, "Hi, my Name is Heather, and you are Losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to The next light When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets Out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.. He knocks on Her window, and as she lowers it, he says,............... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in CANADA , and I'm driving the F*** ING SALT TRUCK.....
Now that's ART!!! The sign, representing social morals. Your conscience. Things that you know you really shouldn't do. And the light, of course, is tequila....
